Story Time: Chris and Kenny

A few evenings ago, I was studying at the library for my finals with a group of friends. They asked if I could watch their stuff as they went to eat, and I agreed. I wanted to go eat too, but someone had to stay and watch our table. Long story short, I waited longer than I anticipated and became a bit grumpy. When they got back, I left and headed towards McDonald's on my way home (don't judge me).

Chris
As I open the door, a young homeless man stares straight at me and asks for money to get food. Personally, I don't like giving away money. I want to make sure that the money is being used for the right intentions. So I offered to buy him whatever he wanted. And let me tell you, he ordered a lot of food... 5 McDoubles, 5 McChickens, and some BLT sandwich.

While we were waiting for the food to come out, he kept on rambling about his past. The guy's name is Chris. He was socially awkward, but you never know what living on the streets can do to you after a couple years. Chris told me how he had a rough past going to jail for burglary, getting on probation, and ruining his future.

And he wouldn't stop bowing down to me. Almost every other sentence was followed with a bow. And I'm not talking about the bowing your head type bow. He got on his knees and bowed his forehead to the ground. It was his way of expressing his thanks. It made me think, "Who am I to be bowed down to? I feel like God is going to smite me. Just kidding. But seriously, I don't deserve this treatment."

Anyway, we got the food. I asked to pray for him. I prayed for the food. I prayed for God to enter his life in some way. It could be from my encounter with him, or someone else's later in the future. It was a simple prayer, and we parted our ways.

Kenny
But there was another homeless man that saw the entire encounter. He came up and told me how he was amazed to see me do something like that for a guy like him. I simply explained that I felt a conviction to share the love that I've been shown through Christ. I explained to him my faith in Christ. And he seemed to listen with positivity.

We had a bit of small talk, and I learned about the man (Kenny). He was a bit different from many other homeless people that I've met. Kenny was very respectful. He, like many others, made some bad decisions and lost a lot of money. But he didn't boast about it. He showed expressed shame as he talked about his past. He stopped his story abruptly, saying that I wouldn't want to hear the rest of the "boring" story.

Who am I to judge him? I explained that I'm not much of a better person than he. It was sad to see how the world pushed him to be ashamed of himself and beat himself up. It seemed as if he was told to accept the fact that he's a failure and must live with the consequences. I wanted to explain the grace that we all have in Christ, but we ended our conversation. He hoped that we would meet again. I pray and hope that I'll be able to see him again.

Aftermath
After all this occurred, I wasn't so grumpy anymore. There was a reason for me to stay at the table and wait for everyone to come back. None of this story would have occurred without that incidence.

I watched another Judah Smith sermon when I got back home from this event. The sermon was exactly about what just happened in my life. To summarize, sometimes we have to meet strangers and non-believers at their table. Jesus sat at the table of sinners. Why are we so afraid of having our "image" ruined by hanging out with "those people". So what if people make assumptions? That's exactly what the Pharisees did to Jesus. They made assumptions and judged him for sitting with "those sinners". Sometimes, we can't always tell others to join our table. We have to meet them at their place, just like Jesus came down to meet us at our level.

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Graduations, Photography, and Finals.

It's finals week here at the University of Texas at Austin. You know what that means. It's a mixture of stress, anxiety, self-actualization, epiphanies, screaming, crying, laughing, etc. I've seen it all. And no, I'm not going through any of these problems (thankfully). I'm quite relaxed for this round of finals. Honestly, you just do the best that you can do and leave the rest up to God. It's out of your control. So there's no point in worrying anyway.

Enough about finals. I want to talk about graduations and photography. This isn't a lecture because I have little to no knowledge about photography. I'm still learning a lot. And I mean a lot.

This past weekend, a couple of my friends graduated. They're done with this chapter of their life. And I pray and look forward to the amazing things God will do through them.

Graduation, itself, is nothing new to me. It's the same process: show up and cheer as your friend walks, take pictures, go eat, the end. However, it was a different for me because I took some photos this time. Why? Well half of the reason was to help take pictures. The other half was to practice and learn from experience.

As I was looking through the photos, I felt pretty nostalgic. Maybe because I was listening to some sappy music on spotify... Don't judge me. But I captured a lot of candid moments. And it felt warming to see the moments of laughter and happiness on those images. I got to see genuine joy. And it made me think about how those captured moments are moments where people let their guard down. They didn't know I took a picture of them. They didn't have time to "prepare" and "look pretty for the camera". It was the real, genuine "put name here" in that photo.

It made me think about how we all put on a mask when we're in public. We all hide our true self because we're told to do so by society. Why? Why should I conform and follow the patterns around me when I know it's not what defines me? Who says that it's important to look fake in order to impress? Seriously.

Be yourself. Be the image of God you were created to be. Don't try to fit in when you know you aren't supposed to. Be an anomaly (inspired by Lecrae's new alubm). Don't compromise your faith or yourself to seize an opportunity to fit in. And I'm not saying that's easy. I'm still trying to work that out in my life. But I thought I'd share some encouragement.

In the famous lyrics of Andy Mineo: "Opportunities come and they go, but none of them are worth my soul." Just kidding. He's not that well known. But he's a rapper partnered with Lecrae.

Btw, here's the album of the photos. Play some sappy music to get the full effect of #feels.
Graduation Photos

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I lean not on my own understanding.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." - Proverbs 3:5-6

It's been a while since I wrote, and there were many reasons for it. I feel like many of you have been feeling the same way that I've been feeling. Empty. Confused. Blank. For me, I came to think about what I'm doing in college. Of course, I'm here to study and work diligently to glorify God. But then again, what am I actually DOING doing? What am I doing with my degree/major? Why am I even pursuing a Masters in Accounting?

For the past few weeks, I'd sit in class wondering why I'm learning this stuff. I wasn't finding any joy in it. And of course, not everything in class is enjoyable or fun. But you know what I mean. How is learning Financial Accounting Standards, Market Equilibrium Hypothesis, or US GAAP going to help me serve God's kingdom? I'm not even enjoying this.

In addition, I don't see myself doing anything in a large corporation. How am I supposed to impact and influence those around me if I'm going to be another small worker in a huge company? Am I really going to be a "slave" at a company for 2 years, working 70-90+ hours? I can't see myself doing that. Some people don't mind that because they'll make a lot of money or gain the experience to obtain a CEO position. No thank you. I don't really care for that stuff. I rather make less money, knowing that I'm making a difference in glorifying God.

So anyway, you get my point. All these thoughts have been in my head. Then this passage in Proverbs became so clear. Who am I to try and figure out what I'm supposed to make of my life? I can try to plan stuff out and convince myself of the purpose that I have, or I can leave it up to the guy who made me. But, honestly, it's so difficult to follow that simple command.

"Then they asked him, 'What must we do to do the works God requires?^' Jesus answered, 'The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent.'” - John 6:28-29

I've been so busy trying to DO stuff. I don't know why, but I have a mindset of having to complete at least one task to glorify God. If I don't DO anything for God today, then I failed. And that's false. Look at the passage. The people are so focused on figuring out what they need to DO for God. We've been raised in society to always be DOING stuff.

But Jesus responds in a way that confuses us, and makes us a bit frustrated. Jesus says to just BELIEVE and TRUST. The people were thinking, "What?.... No Jesus, what do you want me to DO? I believe in you and all, and that's cool. But what do you want me to DO?" But that's exactly what we are to do. Just BELIEVE and TRUST.

That's something I'm still learning to do. It's weird because that's now how we were raised and taught. But it's that simple. Believe and trust that He will make your paths straight and your mind clear. You don't need to worry about what's out of your control. Just pray, read scripture, and ask for the wisdom to trust in Him. Who knows what I'll be doing. But I know I'll be where I need to be when the time comes.

PS: I took this idea from another Judah Smith sermon. So if you want to listen to it, message me!

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Repenting.

The past week hasn't been so spiritually great. I felt myself becoming more and more distant from others and, especially, God. I tried praying, and I didn't know how to start or what to say. That's how empty I felt. But I asked for guidance in prayer and slowly began to repent.

It's always been a struggle for me to understand repentance. How much of a balance of repenting is "guilt" or "feeling remorse", and how much of it is "feeling restored/renewed"? I'm not a pastor or anything, so I could be wrong. But this is what I learned from scripture today.

When you know you've committed sin, you can't help but feel guilt/remorse/sorrow. For me, those feelings hit me really hard. I try to come back to pray and repent, but the feelings of guild/sorrow still remain. To me, it makes no logical sense to repent and feel instantly restored. I always feel like there should be a consequence for my wrongdoings. But then I read this passage in 2 Kings.

"Elisha sent a messenger to say to him, "Go wash yourself seven times in the Jordan, and your flesh will be restored and you will be cleansed." But Naaman went away angry..." - 2 Kings 5:10-11

"So he went down and dipped himself in the Jordan seven times, as the man of God had told him, and his flesh was restored and became clean like that of a young boy." - 2 Kings 5:14

Just a brief background of this passage. There was a guy named Naaman with leprosy, and he went to find the prophet Elisha to be healed. If you look at the first passage, it says that Naaman was angry. Why was he angry? He was angry because he expected Elisha to perform a complicated/spiritual/mind-blowing miracle to heal him. But instead, Elisha told him to go take a shower in the Jordan river. It seemed so simple. Too simple.

And of course, Naaman goes and takes his little shower. Boom. He's healed. It was such a simple thing, and Naaman thought it was supposed to be so complicated.

This is exactly how I feel when I try to repent, sometimes. I come before God, expecting to be scolded or punished for my wrongdoing. I feel remorse and guilt. I feel as if I must earn the forgiveness. But then I was reminded of the simplicity of forgiveness because of Christ's death on the cross. There's no punishment. It's been finished. Just like Naaman had to take a simple shower to be healed, I need only to simply repent.

And of course, the whole topic of taking advantage of His grace is a different story for another time.

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Self-Reminders.

I tend to be forgetful. Not so much on promises or plans that I make with other people, but I tend to forget the Truth about myself and God. Listening to PC's sermon served as a great reminder of who I am and who He is.

We all get caught up in the busy-ness of life. The world doesn't revolve around you or me. I know we hear it a lot, but it's a true fact that I tend to forget. In my case, I'm busy with school. I only think about my class schedule, when to eat, when to study, and when to meet up with people. It's a simple, mundane thing. But sometimes I forget why or what I'm doing.

Judah Smith mentions in his sermon that the world and the gospel define life as opposite things...

The world says that "practice dictates your position". You can only become worth something if you practice hard enough. You'll be loved, significant, made worth when you practice hard enough to attain that status. You'll become a CEO, superstar, most interesting person if you practice hard enough. Practice practice practice and then you can have it.

The gospel says the opposite. "Your position in Christ dictates your practice". In Christ, we have been seated at the right hand of God. We have already been given the highest position that can ever be achieved. And we did nothing to earn it. We were given this position out of grace.

That's the gospel. It's the truth. Christianity is a story of love. The gospel shows that you don't need to work for your position. It's been given to you. All you need to do is accept and believe in Christ. Embrace God's grace. But by all means, it doesn't mean life gets easier. Everyone suffers through life because the world is a broken place. We're all broken people. But in Christ, we can suffer with a purpose. In Christ, we have hope for eternal joy, peace, and happiness.

Don't follow what the world tells you to do. Don't listen to what society defines you as. You are not defined by your job, social status, financial status, race, or passions. You are a follower of Christ. You are a child of God. So I encourage you to live your life in Christ (in the highest position).

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Thank you all...

for your prayers and support. As pathetic as it may sound, last week was one of the most difficult weeks of my life. It could have arguably been the most difficult week of my life. And for that, I am very thankful that I somehow survived it.

This school year, I've seen so many people going through hardships. It's as if this is the year that my friends and I have been hit with a wave of confusion/chaos/conflicts. But there's been so much beauty in the midst of the craziness. There's been more compassion, kindness, prayer, accountability, and love among us.

I can testify that my college fellowship has supported me more than I could have imagined. Life can slap you in the face. Really hard. And most of the time, there's no way you can get back up on your own will. I experienced this first hand. And I must thank my brothers and sisters in Christ for their prayers.

There's no other place where I can rely on others for genuine support/prayer. I can testify that ACTS is a loving body in Christ. I can see it as I edit these pictures that I took from our social events. I can see it in the way we share our lives with each other. I can see genuine love being shared. And you can be a part of it too. We accept anyone and everyone.

Ultimately, I have to thank God for helping me through the week.

I don't deserve God's grace or mercy. Even throughout the week, I willingly disobeyed Him. I tried to find rest in other things besides Him. But He still provided and blessed me. I don't understand. And that's the beauty of it. God's grace is something that can't be understood. It makes no sense that anyone would still be faithful to someone who isn't faithful in return. It's ridiculous. It's scandalous. It's beyond rational. But it's there, and it won't be leaving anytime soon. It's amazing.

So if anyone needs some prayer, feel free to reach out. There's no such thing as a "stupid" prayer. We're all broken. We can't do anything on our own. Let the guy who's in charge of everything help you out. And even if you don't know whether or not God is real, give it a shot. You never know how your life can change.

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I Am Weak.

Before I start, I want to apologize to everyone who I promised to meet up with. Since I haven't been able to meet up and share about my past weeks, this will be my way to communicate that to you. For the time being, at least.

For the past week or so, I've been very busy. I wish I could say that I'm exaggerating, but I'm not. For example, today was a long day. I woke up at 8:30AM, had class until 7PM, had a quick dinner, and studied until now. Honestly, I don't know how I got through today.

My days have been consistently like this. If you think I'm here to vent/complain about how my schedule is crazier/more intense than yours, then you're mistaken. I'm here to say the opposite. I'm weak.

I'm weak. I'll admit it. There is no way that I can handle my current schedule by my own will/efforts. And I'm thankful that my schedule has pushed me to the limit. Why? Because God has proven to me that I can only do so many things on my own will. Let me explain.

This past summer, I remember specifically that I prayed for my pride to be removed from my life. I asked God to humble me no matter what it took. And guess what? I think that prayer has been answered.

There is no way that I could have survived today on my own. There is no way that I could have been so peaceful and calm at certain times. And there is no way that I would put myself through these conditions for the sake of making a huge salary in the future.

So everyday that I am able to get through, I cannot take any credit. I know I'm weak. There's no way I can do this on my own. It's not me. It's Him. He's constant. He's good. He's faithful. He is Better.

But the fight's not over yet. Next week will be even more challenging, and I hope and pray that I'll be able to stay thankful in all circumstances and remain in prayer.

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A Slap in the Face

This semester, I've been spread thin with my time commitments. I didn't know what to prioritize in. I didn't know how to plan out my schedule in terms of studying, meeting with people, coordinating IM volleyball, etc. And the number 1 thing you DON'T want to do is think about everything all at once. I made that mistake.
So of course, I began to think too much about things. I began to feel stressed. You know how the process works. Anyway, there was one more mistake that I made. I wasn't in prayer about the decisions I was making. I was saying "Yes" to everything because I wanted to accomplish everything. I was trying to bite off more than I could chew.

I was reminded of this as I was listening to a sermon at Austin Stone on Campus. By the way, it was a great time. You should go next year.

"Elijah went before the people and said, 'How long will you waver between two opinions? If the Lord is God, follow him; but if Baal is God, follow him.'” - 1 Kings 18:21

We tend to always have a back up plan. That's what we're taught. Always plan for the worst and have a plan B. But I don't think that should apply in our spiritual walk.

We sometimes straddle a fence between God and our own desires. And I was guilty of this fact. There are many accomplishments that I want to fulfill... I want to get better at volleyball, I want to get more camera lenses, I want to travel the world, I want, I want, I want.

And this is a natural tendency for all human beings. We all have wants and desires. Many of us don't want to let go of them. We want to hang onto these things because we think that achieving it will bring us complete satisfaction. Reaching that goal, receiving that object, or accomplishing that task will make us 100% satisfied. False.

We always want something more after we finish a task. And we keep searching and searching and searching. Let me tell you that you won't find what you're looking for down here on earth.

"... If the Lord is God, follow him; but if Baal is God, follow him.”

If you have experienced God, if you know He is real, if you have a slight feeling that He may be real, then go all in for Him. If you're not sure about Him, ask for Him to help you experience Him.

"But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul." - Deuteronomy 4:29

So there was my "Slap in the Face". I'm glad I came to realize this in my own life. Don't get so caught up with the stuff in front of you. The world doesn't revolve around you. There are bigger things at hand. God's work. The kingdom's work. Get involved in it. Go 100% for His kingdom, not your own.

"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." - Colossians 3:1-2

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You're Not Alone.

No I'm not talking about that Saosin song. Although I did like them a lot in middle/high school. But I want to let everyone that's reading this know that you're not alone on this journey of life. After talking with a lot of individuals today, I came to realize how much we are going through in our own lives.

A lot of us are in college. We have a lot of studying to do. We have commitments in organizations. We have our college fellowship events: small groups, social gatherings, large groups, etc. I have a lot of stuff to do. You have a lot of stuff to do. And lets be honest. It can be overwhelming and stressful.

In my situation, I've committed my time to a lot of different things. And honestly, I'm not sure if I spread myself too thin or not. Many of you are probably thinking the same thing. But let me share something that has helped me.

Don't try and do it alone. Share you burden with others. Now that doesn't mean you get a all-pass to vent out about your problems. But it's okay to ask for prayer from others. I could sure use some prayer myself. And I'll be happy to pray for anyone who asks for some prayer.

We're all broken people. No one's perfect. We're meant to live our lives through relationships with others. Why do you think the Bible talks about the church, the community, the body of Christ, and being one body and one spirit of believers?

Please if you are ever feeling like you're about to blow up, break, shatter, or whatever else... ask for prayer. I doubt anyone will say no to your prayer request. And also, don't forget that He is bigger than whatever you're facing. I know it's repeated a lot, but it's true. Keep telling yourself that until you believe it. It's not easy, but I know that it will work.

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." - 1 Peter 5:7

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How to Not Be Stressed Out.

For the past few days, I've been a bit anxious about school. I just entered the iMPA program. It stands for the "integrated Masters in Professional Accounting" program. And it's the #1 accounting program in the nation. I'm now a part of that. I have to live up to that reputation. No pressure.

I applied to this program on somewhat of a whim. I didn't know which direction to take in my business career, so I tried applying to the program. There's no way applying would hurt me. My thoughts were, "God, I'm going to apply. If I get in, then I'll give thanks. If I don't give in, then please help me to still give thanks." Fortunately, I got in.

But I still don't know what I'm doing. Trust me. I feel like a chicken with its head cut off. I kind of have a passion for some parts of business. But at the same time, I enjoy the most random things. For example, I enjoy jazz, skiing, photography, etc. I have yet to find someone who enjoys the same exact things that I do.
 
Before I headed to my orientation, I didn't have any assurance of anything. So I prayed. It was one of the shortest prayers. "Help me trust you."


Consulting always caught my interest. To simply explain it, consulting is where a client asks for your help and you solve it. It can be any kind of problem: restaurants, banks, car dealerships, software companies, etc. Basically, you need to know a bit of everything because you're dealing with a bit of everything. You need to be a Ditto (I can't believe I just made a Pokemon reference... Don't judge me).

Consultants need to know a lot of stuff, and they need to be unique problem solvers. In other words, you can't be a normal person. You need to think differently and present solutions that no one else can think of.

Anyway, long story short, I felt a passion and interest in this field during my orientation. It was a strange feeling. But I felt some sort of assurance. I can't seem to find anyone that does anything like me. I want to show and advise others that you can do business in a righteous, Godly way and still become successful for Christ.

And for those of you who feel stressed and lost. Don't worry. I'm still just as lost as before. The only thing different is that I know that my God is bigger than my problem. The problem is still there, but I'm not stressed anymore. I'm joyful.

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." - 1 Peter 5:7

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Greenbelt.

It was a long day today. Woke up at 7AM to go hiking and shopped all afternoon. I'd say that today was very adventurous, and I learned a something about myself.

First, the hiking trail was... okay. Let's just say that I won't be going back again. If you like hiking in the forest and not reaching the top of a majestic cliff to see the wonderful view, then don't go here. In my personal experience, I hiked for 1.5 hours and ended up on a highway. Afterwards, we had to get picked up because we couldn't walk on the highway back to our car. We were about 4 miles away from where we started.

Long story short, we were walking the wrong direction. The group wanted to go back, and me and my 2 friends wanted to keep going. Big mistake. But we found a cool painting. Sort of.

And then we ended up climbing onto the highway...

Anyway, I learned something about myself. I've been praying to be an accountable, encouraging friend. But recently, I've found myself doing the opposite. I pray that Christ would change me so that I can be there for others.

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Camp Buckner.

These past three days have been a crazy journey, but it felt like a week long. I volunteered at a youth retreat in Austin. More specifically, I was invited to play keyboard in a praise band called "Awakening". I didn't have any other obligations except for worshiping at the evening sessions. It was a great experience to lead worship and relax.

But I'll be honest, I learned just as much, if not more, at this retreat. Even though I wasn't a youth kid (I got mistaken as one many times), I was challenged to re-evaluate myself and realign my relationship with Christ. 

Leading worship is one of the most difficult things to do. Yes, you have to be talented at playing instruments and whatnot. But that wasn't the difficult thing. Leading worship is a spiritual battle within yourself. There are so many things that can distract you from worshiping God.

Thoughts creep into my head: Does the audience seem into it? Am I playing the right chords? Does this sound cool? Am I singing in tune?

While you're thinking all these things, you forget about the words that are coming out of your mouth. Sure, you're singing the words. But that's it. In my case, I focused on "leading" worship. I didn't focus on worshiping God myself. Ironically, you fail at leading worship by focusing on leading worship. You lead worship by worshiping.

The first night, our entire "Awakening" team came to realize this. We failed at worshiping because we were so concerned about leading. Honestly, God doesn't need us to have people worship Him. He chose to use us.

"God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.” - John 4:24

So I came to understand how important and challenging it is to lead worship. The spiritual battle within yourself is not a joke. It's Satan's best chance to ruin God's people from giving Him the glory He deserves.
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There's one more thing I learned. It's a simple truth, but it became dull to me. Sometimes you need a reminder (for me, it's all the time). Religion tells you to DO. Christ tells you it's already DONE. We've been given everything. All you have to do is believe in Christ.

Like Judah Smith mentioned, "Your position in Christ dictates how you walk your life. But your walk in life will NEVER dictate/change your position in Christ."

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ISIS.

If you haven't already heard, there are some terrible things going on in the Middle East. Basically, all hell has broken lose. Literally. I can't imagine what trauma people are facing. There are bombings, airstrikes, gun shots, rubble, and blood everywhere. It's quite the opposite of what we see in America.

And this is nothing new. There has been conflict going on in that part of the world for quite some time. But there's a whole new dimension of terror. ISIS. If you aren't familiar with this group, then you should just google it.

But let me give you a quick example of what they've done recently. They've brought Christian persecution to a whole new level. Christian families in Mosul, Iraq are being held at gun point to denounce Christ. Basically these families are given two choices: denounce Christ or die.

If they do not denounce Christ, husbands get to see their wives raped in front of them. Parents get to see their children beheaded. And I am not exaggerating any of this. If you aren't convinced, check this article out. But I must warn you, these images are very, very graphic.

Terrible actions of ISIS.

I cannot say that I would not denounce Christ in this situation. The thought is unbearable, and I cringe at the thought of my brothers and sisters in Christ who are literally dying for Christ.

I pray that our Father will hear the cries of His people and respond. I pray that He would give them perseverance, grace, peace, and comfort.

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Summer School.

So I finally finished summer school, and it taught me a lot about myself. Honestly, I learned nothing more about our government. But I did somehow grow in a spiritual sense.

As I was taking this online government course, I complained. A lot. I can get pretty arrogant and prideful. The entire time, I complained about how I'm overqualified to be taking this course, how useless this course will be in my life, and how much "busy work" I have.

Some of the things I thought may have been true. And sure, I may have been too good for this basic course. But I came to realize one main point. If you can't do the little things, then you don't deserve to handle the bigger things.

I came across two passages that convicted me to re-evaluate how I was approaching this summer course.

"Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." - 1 Corinthians 10:31

These verses are simple. There is no way you can misinterpret these verses. It's clear, simple, and to the point. And I was stubborn and ignored it during my summer session. I wasn't joyful about taking my course. I didn't glorify God by complaining about how this course is boring, tedious, and a waste of time.

If I can't do the little things right, then why would God even bother giving me a bigger, greater task? Sometimes we tell ourselves that we'll be serious when a serious task is at hand. But do you really know that for sure?

I'm guilty of thinking in this way. I place my pride in myself, thinking that I can accomplish great things if the challenges come. And of course, that's something I need to pray about and fix. I want to boast and remind myself of my weaknesses, so that I cannot take the credit in anything that is accomplished.

"But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: 'God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.'" - James 4:6

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Back in Austin.

It's been three days since I've been back in Austin. While it's been exciting and fun, everything has been fast-paced. And each day feels really long. Even though I've only been here for three days, I feel like I've spent my entire summer here. So much has happened.

My first day was spent moving in, eating with friends, and playing basketball until midnight. The second day, I spent time rearranging my place and whatnot. Afterwards, I played basketball for the rest of the night. Today, I spent all day cleaning my old place, moving things, eating a lot, shopping for groceries, and playing basketball until now.

Busyness of Life
I'm sure most of you don't care what I've done for the past three days. So I'll get straight to the point of this post. I'm guilty of getting caught up with the busyness of life.

While I was in Dallas, I spent so much time reading the Word, praying, and resting in Him. Austin is the complete opposite, right now. I've barely had time to read, pray, or rest. Whenever I get home, I just want to "entertain myself" through Youtube, Netflix, or whatever else.

If your schedule is so busy that you can't spend time with God, then something is wrong. As of right now, I'm guilty of that. Sometimes, it's important to stop and evaluate how you're spending your time and what you're spending your time on.

I pray and hope that I can slow down and look to Him. Because honestly, that's all that matters.

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Childlike.

Last week, I spent a day taking my niece and nephew to watch How to Train Your Dragon 2. I want to share how a 9 and 7 year old challenged me to re-evaluate myself.

During the car ride, these two kids would not stop singing. And I don't mean that in a negative way. It was really nice to hear them sing praise songs. They were actually in tune most of the time. But what intrigued me was how they sang songs of worship so innocently, freely, openly, and accepting-ly.

"I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." - Luke 18:17

Some of you may be thinking, "kids are conditioned to do things like this" or "those kids are just doing what they're told: memorize bible verses, memorize songs, sing songs, etc." And you may be right. However, they also do these things without challenging it. They accept it as it is, and that's the amazing part.

Sometimes we forget how to accept things as it is. I'm guilty of challenging things all the time. It's just what the world teaches us. "Don't believe something until it is justified, reasonable, or proven". But that's just the opposite of what Jesus tells us to do.

I sin all the time. That's a fact. And I will keep sinning until I die. Every time I sin, I rebel against God. Of course, that's not something I want to do. I hate failing and disappointing God. I feel guilt, remorse, condemnation. But here's the strange thing. God doesn't tell you to do or feel like this. 

To my understanding, I don't think the Bible ever tells anyone to feel guilty or punish them self. God tells us to repent. Repenting with conviction and guilt are two different things. Repent comes from conviction, which is from the Holy Spirit. It's an urge to ask for forgiveness even though it may be the trillionth time. Guilt is NOT from the Spirit; it's from Satan.
 
When I sin against God, I can't but help to feel guilty. I want to punish myself and face the consequence of what I did wrong. I want to redeem myself for messing up. But that's the opposite of what God wants us to do. God wants us to accept the grace He has already given to us.

Christmas Day
Judah Smith puts it this way. Imagine children opening presents on Christmas Day. When kids open up a gift, they can't stop smiling, laughing, rejoicing, etc. NEVER will you see a kid say, "I owe you dad" or "Thanks for the gift! I'll pay you back later!" In the same way, we need to accept God's free gift of grace.

When you feel guilt or remorse, ask for forgiveness. Get back up and try again. Don't try to redeem yourself. When you try to "make-up" for your bad day, you're insulting the sacrifice of Christ. Basically you're telling Jesus, "Aye man, I appreciate all that you did for me, but I'm gonna add a little more to it so that I can become righteous." That makes no sense!

Accept Grace like a child. Embrace Grace like a child. When you do that, there is a sense of freedom. You are already victorious through Christ.
 

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When I Worship.

Up until these past few years of my life, I never truly understood what it meant to "worship God". And we all know that the most common form of worship is singing songs of praise with a band. But of course, worship can be in any form: prayer, dancing, singing, etc. I believe worship is anything and everything that points to the glorification of God.

However, I felt like writing about worshiping through song. I must confess that I don't truly worship 100% of the time. Let me explain. I believe that a true time of worship is when you focus on a one-on-one session with God. You don't think about anything else but God. And believe me, that's not an easy thing to do all the time.

Many times during praise, I get distracted. Sometimes I get distracted by the way the band plays. Sometimes I focus on whether I'm in tune and how well I'm singing. Sometimes I'm worrying about what I have to do after church. And sometimes I focus on the people around me and how much they're "into it". It's very difficult to give 100% of yourself to God.

When I experience my "true session" of praise, I feel like I'm praying. I focus so much on the words, that it feels like a prayer (with some melodic inflections). And I put passion and intention and sincerity into every word that comes out of my mouth. It feels awesome.

It's been about a week since I've gotten the new Hillsong Worship album. And I just wanted to share a song that I've been "truly worshiping" to. The song is titled "This I Believe (The Creed)".

This song, in my opinion, is such an awesome song that reminds me of the fundamental Truth of the Gospel. And at the same time, I can make it my prayer and boldly proclaim it.

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East to the West.

Last night, I had a very strange dream. I cried in my dream. I know, that's a huge surprise for many of you. And in case you were wondering, yes I have cried before. But let me explain what's more strange than me crying in a dream.

I can't quite explain what was happening in my dream. I don't know where I was, and I don't know what was happening. The only thing I remember is that I was crying and hearing the words "I love you". I don't remember the voice. However, I knew it was God who was speaking to me.

Many of you will write this off as some "religious" crazy thing. But I just want to remind you that you are loved. I believe that when you truly experience and understand God's love for you, there's nothing you can do but break down. Just hearing and experience those three words in a dream made me feel so good. I woke up in the morning feeling so good and victorious.

As I woke up, I started randomly singing the lyrics to a song. The song was "East to the west" by Casting Crowns. The song is about God's love for mankind.

"For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us." - Psalm 103:11-12

I want to point out one misunderstanding about "fearing" God. Judah Smith puts "fear" in a good perspective. Judah interprets "fearing" God not as "terror" but in "awe". God doesn't want you to be terrorized by Him. He wants you to be in awe of His goodness and His love for you.

How far is the east from the west? 
No really. How far is it? Jefferson Bethke put it in terms like this. We all know how far north and south you can go. The ends of the north and south are at the poles of the earth. Once you past the north pole, you start going south and vice versa. However, how do you know when you've reached the end of going west? You can't. It's infinite.

In the same way, God has removed his wrath and our transgressions on us, infinitely. That means we have been eternally forgiven. We are infinitely loved.

God had this written long before Jesus came. God wrote "... as far as the east is from the west" for a reason. It's clever isn't it? That's God for you.

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Re-evaluating Grace.

I have a confession to make. I can be a prideful person, and I found myself becoming very prideful/arrogant/self-righteous over the past year or so. I'm not a perfect person. There is nothing that's righteous about me. Sure I may do some nice things here and there, but I'm still a sinner.

With that being said, I came to re-evaluate what grace is. I was challenged by Judah Smith's book titled, "Jesus is ____".

I have good days and bad days, and I evaluate them on what I did that day. If I did something nice, kind, or productive, then it was a good day. If I gave into temptation and sinned, then it was a bad day. Let me tell you this. That mindset is terrible. It will make you beat yourself up on the bad days, and it will make you prideful on the good days. But here is what's worst of all, everything is centered on what I/YOU do. You're completely ignoring the grace that we have received through Christ.

I'm ashamed to say that I lost sight of this. I took pride in what "rules/laws" I followed. For example, I fed the homeless and gave to the poor. And I punished myself when I failed to do what was right. Basically, I was just like a Pharisee.

Then I realized that it doesn't matter what you do. Here's what I mean. You can't do anything to gain grace. And you can't do anything to lose it. You can't change that. When Jesus said "It is finished", we received the fullest extent of forgiveness and grace.

The acts of kindness/forgiveness we do shouldn't be out of pride/self-righteousness. It's a manifestation of the grace we know and have received. I do these things because I know I'm loved by God. I know that may sound weird, but I hope one day you'll come to understand what I've recently experienced.

Now here's a huge topic that many people struggle with. People ask, "If God will always forgive me, then can I go sin and do whatever I want and then come back and repent?" If you're asking this question, you've already missed the point. But technically, the answer is yes.

Here's where Judah Smith comes to explain grace. Grace is not a concept. Grace is a person. Jesus is Grace. Let me share Judah Smith's analogy.

Imagine your spouse. If you don't have one, then think about the person that loves you the most (your parents, grandparents, girlfriend/boyfriend, etc). Your spouse loves you for who you are. He/she will love you no matter how much you mess up. He/she will still love you if you cheat on him/her. He/she will still love you if you lose your job, house, car, etc. So if you know you'll be loved no matter how many mistakes you make, would you willingly, lose your job, murder, and cheat on your significant other, etc? No, that makes no sense.

Grace is a person. It's not a concept. When we understand that, then the playing field changes. You don't want to do horrible things against the person who unconditionally loves you. That's just terrible. But there will be times when you mess up, and that's okay because you'll be forgiven and loved.

Don't think about not messing up. Focus on Jesus.

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"Live a life that demands an explanation."

That sounds like a deep, inspiring quote doesn't it? Unfortunately, I didn't think of it. I recently heard it from Francis Chan. As a fellow brother in Christ, I wanted to encourage you all with that quote.

I don't think the purpose of our life is to: "fit in", "be normal", "follow the crowd", etc. And I'm not saying we should constantly live in an outspoken manner either. As Christians, there should be something different about us. There should be something different in how we live, not necessarily how we speak/preach/proclaim. Our lifestyle should stir curiosity.

Here's a wake-up call.
I think many Christians today, including myself, have lost our "focal point". And that focal point is Jesus. Christians today identify themselves as Christians in what they DON'T do. For example, many Christians believe they are Christians because: "I don't do drugs", "I'm not an alcoholic", "I'm not prostitute", etc.

But I think what defines a Christian is what they DO do (Yes. I know, I said doo-doo). Christians should find their identity in Christ. And what did Christ do? He loved the worst of people. He had compassion for the prostitutes, mobsters, druggies of his time. 

Jesus "[lived] a life that demanded an explanation." Nobody understood why he hung out with the worst of people. Think about it. The Pharisees were the "holy" priests at the time. They pointed out the wrongs and mistakes everyone had made (similar to many churches/Christians today). The Pharisees had NO IDEA why Jesus, the chosen messiah/savior/king, was hanging out with the scum of the earth.

So long story short, don't be a Pharisee. Don't become self-righteous and condemn others in what they're doing wrong. Be like Jesus, who loved the sinner, the wretched, the sick, the broken, etc. "Live a life that demands an explanation" by what you DO, not by what you DON'T do.

"I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith, so that you will have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ." - Philemon 1:6

Testifying your life through your actions is proven to allow you to understand more of the goodness of Christ.

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Numbers - The 12 Tribes.

A few weeks ago, I finished the book of Numbers. And as you know, it's pretty dull. For example, all of chapter 1 is a census of the 12 tribes of Israel. I'll be honest. I skipped all of it. However there was something unique about chapters 2 through 4.

In the first few chapters of Numbers, God tells Moses to take a census, assign land to each tribe, and give roles to each tribe. All 12 tribes of Israel had their own plot of land, and they did their own thing. But of course, they did everything according to God's laws and decrees. As long as they didn't disobey those laws, they glorified God. Basically, all the people of Israel lived normal lives while glorifying God.

I'm not a theologian or anything, but I assume that the majority of the Israelite people were farmers, shepherds, moms and dads, soldiers, and other normal things. The minority of the Israelite people were the "holy" people who were the Levites.

The Levites were the chosen people to be priests of the holy tabernacle. If you think about it, they were like the pastors, missionaries, and preachers of today's time. So from my analysis, the majority of God's people were normal/average people while a small minority were special/chosen/holy people.

This lead me to the thought of our roles as Christians in today's society. Not everyone is going to be a pastor, missionary, or preacher. The majority of us will be normal/average people. Now if you're reading this and think that this is an excuse to not go into seminary, then you got it all wrong. You may or may not be called to be a "Levite". What I'm saying is that there are many parts of society that need average/normal Christians.

If we all became pastors, then who would we preach to? The point goes back to how all the average/normal Israelite people glorified God and obeyed His commands in their everyday lives. In the same way, we should be glorifying God and ministering to the people in the lives we live.

Just because you're not a missionary, pastor, or preacher doesn't mean you can't live for God. Even the Old Testament shows how the normal/average Israelite people lived for God as farmers, shepards, moms and dads, etc. 

That means you can glorify God as a businessperson, doctor, musician, artist, writer, teacher, etc. But be sure to be wise in prayer and scripture to see what you're really called to do for His Kingdom's sake.

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Neverland.

There's this rap artist named Andy Mineo, and one of his songs is title "Neverland". If you haven't heard of him, then you should check him out. He is a rapper who is also a Christian. Don't be so quick to judge him, though. Just because he's a Christian doesn't mean he's a boring, bible thumping rapper. He speaks applicable truth in his raps.

Here's an example from his song "Neverland".

Verse 1:

Everybody wanna be on top

I don't think they know what that means 

Once you get there you can't stop

Everybody gunning for ya spot

Mineo is talking about the American Dream. Everyone is fighting to be the richest, most famous, best, etc. But he's telling the audience to stop and think about it. The American dream is not what it seems. Once you start pursuing it, it'll ruin you. There is no end.

Verse 1:

Everything change when you go from seeing it all

Big screen to behind the scenes

If you look past the American Dream, there is a surprising thing behind it all. It's a lie. It's misleading. It's not as great as it seems in the front.

Verse 1:

You know the rich and famous

Kill themself to stay rich and famous

Very same thing that they built their name with

Be the same thing that they be enslaved with

Pursuing the American Dream is a poison. It causes you more stress, pain, and suffering to keep your status. Your own fame and wealth are enslaving you from doing what matters.

Verse 1:

I don't want want rap you can have that

Heading for another throne can't have that

It's a Kingdom where my Dad's at

And I'm His son I sing on

So death won't have that last laugh

Huh, child of a King, royalty

That's ASCAP

Mineo confesses that he doesn't want to pursue fame in the rap industry. He's aiming higher. He's looking at the eternal perspective of entering the Kingdom of God, who is his Father. Btw, ASCAP is a not-for-profit organization for composers and artists.

Verse 1:

They want glory, money, and power before you go

I promise you it's empty we aiming just way too low

I know we own things we don't need to impress people we don't know

Then we go broke trying to look rich

I can't do it, I just won't

My new goal is to be close to the One that made my soul man

Them other highs will gon' let you down

I'm trying to get so high I'll Never Land

Mineo is trying to share the truth in the Gospel. He's telling people to open their eyes and see the eternal perspective of things. Pursuing wealth, power, and fame is worthless. It all fades away after you die. We're wasting time aiming for such a pathetic goal when we could be pursuing the eternal Kingdom of God.

All the things on this earth will get you temporarily "high". It only gives temporary satisfaction/pleasure. However, Mineo is telling the audience that he's pursing something that provides eternal satisfaction/pleasure/happiness, which is God. 

There's so much more truth in this song. But I'll let you listen to it for yourself and look up the lyrics.

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The Worth of a Human Being.

On Sunday, I was reminded of the beginning of our existence. The sermon mentioned the days of creation. As I was listening, I was reminded of other aspects that I learned about creation

We all know the story of creation. God created everything in 6 days and rested the 7th day. But if you think about it, creation is broken down into two categories. There is nature, and there is mankind.

God created all of nature in the first 5 days. He saw that everything that He created was good. If you don't believe me, read through Genesis 1. At the end of every creation, "God saw that it was good."

"And God said, 'Let there be light,' and there was light. God saw that the light was good..." Genesis 1:3-4

"God called the dry ground, 'land,' and the gathered waters he called 'seas.' And God saw that it was good." Genesis 1:10

All of nature was inherently good in God's eyes. But here's the amazing thing. God says something different when he creates man.

"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." Genesis 1:27

"God saw all that he had made, and it was very good." Genesis 1:31

Mankind is set apart from the rest of God's creation because we are created in the image of God. Also, God saw that we were very good. Here's a unique analogy that Jefferson Bethke shared.

If we are created in the image of God, we are a reflection of God's glory. Think of it this way. We are like mirrors. As God looks down upon us, we reflect His image/glory across all of creation. We are what completes God's 6-day masterpiece. Our job is to shine His glory all across nature.

But when Adam and Eve sinned against God, they became corrupt and broken. Think of it this way. The mirror is now hit with a hammer. That mirror is shattered. Everything that mirror reflects is distorted. So how can a broken mirror accurately reflect the glory of God? It can't. 

In the beginning, everything was perfect. Nature was inherently good. Man was a perfect image of God. But once mankind sinned against God, everything became ruined. Think about it. The human race is destroying everything on earth. If mankind was never corrupt, there would never be wars, global warming, human trafficking, drug abuse, etc.

We ruined everything. And yet, God still wants to have a relationship with us. He sent his only son to fix us. We can't fix ourselves. A broken mirror can't replace a broken mirror. Only a perfect mirror can replace a broken one. So that leads me to a song that I've been listening to.

"the Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being." Genesis 2:7

God gave us His breath of life. And He never regretted doing so. Even though we messed everything up, even though we are completely broken, pieces of junk, flawed, He still loves us. He wants to have a relationship with us, still. Take a listen to this song.

"It's your breath in our lungs. So we pour out our praise. We pour out our praise."

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An Unordinary Haircut

So I went to get my haircut today. I know what you're thinking. "Cool story bro." And actually, it turns out to be a pretty cool one. My day was normal until I walked out into the parking lot to leave from the barbershop.

As I was walking to my car, a man calls out to me. I look up from texting, and see an older African American man and a younger man. The older man asks if I could spare any money. He was persistent in asking, but I didn't have any cash on me. So I offered to buy him and his nephew some food.

As we were walking to a local burger joint, the older man mentioned that his sister-in-law and brother were with him. Apparently they had been walking around asking for cash to rent a motel room for the night. I'll be honest. I was a bit overwhelmed by the company and didn't expect to pay for so many people. But nonetheless, it's just food. It's the least I can do to help someone in need.

So we sat in the restaurant and started talking. Louise and John were the married couple. Larry was the old man I first met. And the young man was John (he was only 16 but looked like he was a college graduate). Anyway, I assured them that they can order anything that they wanted.

Louise
I struck up a conversation with Louise, who was the only female of the group. She told me all about how her father-in-law passed away in Houston a few weeks ago, how their family has been struggling recently, how she's barely managing to pay for her storage unit, how she's trying to keep her part time job as a nurse, etc. It became more real to me how blessed I am.

So as we continued our conversation, I was upfront and honest with them. I told them I was a Christian. And that I try to do what is written in the Bible. I continued on to apologize for any bad experiences they've had with other "Christians" who may have been hurtful, judgmental, or whatever else. But Louise interrupted me and responded with complete understanding.

She began to talk how she went to church weekly, read the bible, and prayed earnestly. Of course, I didn't take her for her word. I was a bit skeptical. I wasn't sure if she was trying to get on my "good/trusting" side. But then things felt different.

Louise explained how it's so difficult to keep God prioritized in our lives. We get so caught up with other things in life, and we forget who brought us, and everything, into existence. Especially at her point in life, she admits that she needs God to bring peace in her life. She says that going to church instills a peace/comfort.

She continued on to mention how so many individuals go to church for the wrong reasons. Some people feel that going to church once a week cleans the slate. As long as you go once a week, you can do whatever you want. I was amazed at how she understood that.

We switched topics to the "American Dream". I told them my opinion about how it's a lie. It creates selfishness in every individual to pursue something that's non-existent. Louise began to talk about her brother. He's a very successful business man, and he's making millions. She told me how she asked for some financial help, but he saw her as a burden. It hurt me as I listened.

Look, all these individuals don't beg because they want to. I asked Louise, John, Larry, and John. They all admitted that they don't want to ask for money. It's the most humiliating thing to ask for help. I mean, John is just a 16 year old kid. If he's already out in the streets, then who knows how long he'll even live.

Finally, they asked for one more favor. They wanted some help to get a motel room for the night. I didn't know what to do. I don't make any income, so I called to ask my dad. He told me to use my best judgement, and I truly believed that these individuals were honest people. So long story short, I drove to a nearby atm to withdraw some money. I handed them the cash and a few missionary tracks.

And I'll never forget what Louise said... "Please pray for us." Never have I heard that from a homeless individual. They always ask for food or money. But Louise asked for prayer. So if you've read this far, please pray for a fellow sister in Christ.

I can continue to talk about other things. But think about how blessed you are. What are you doing with the resources you have? Don't waste them. I'm not saying to go out and give money away, and I'm surely not trying to brag for the deeds that I've done. Do something that matters. Do something for the Kingdom of God.

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