It's That Time of The Year Again...

When we all reminisce on the past calendar year and think about new goals for the following one. So here goes nothing!

Quick story that I've probably already told in an older post:

Every year, I always have New Year's Eve service at church with my parents. I've been doing the same thing for the past 21 years. We always have short service at church, do the countdown, and wish everyone blessings for the new year. But for the past 4 years, we've started a new tradition. We pick a random bible verse from a box filled with random scripture.

Now, I know what you're thinking (maybe?). "Isn't that kind of non-Christian -- to put your upcoming year's fate into drawing a random verse? Isn't that like... blasphemous sort of?" And yeah, I can understand how this may seem a bit strange. But I think it depends on the mindset that you have.

See, I don't go in thinking that the verse I receive is a prophesy from God that I must fulfill as my destiny. I see it as just another verse to mediate upon for the coming year. In my opinion, it's about the motive and intention you have as you're going through the process.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." -Proverbs 3:5-6

I think overall, I can say that I've learned this: you can't sustain yourself in this life because life is too unpredictable. But if you put Christ at the center of all you do, amazing things will happen in His time. But it's definitely not easy.

There were moments throughout the year where I thought I was trusting in God, but I actually wasn't. And there were moments where I refused to trust in God and relied on myself. All of these moments ended poorly. But I think I've learned my lesson! And He's rewarded me in ways I couldn't have imagined.

He's made my paths more straight. But it seems like there's a fork in the road. Each path is clear -- in which I give thanks. However, I now wait for a door to open. I wonder which door will open in 2016.

Brian || Taylor || Hnou || Xing || Judy || Esther || Josh || Jenine

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Read Read Read

I hate reading. Well, I used to hate it. Ever since I was a kid, my parents made me do those summer reading list things. And the selection of novels were terrible. I hated every book I picked up. To me, the stories were never interesting. I don't remember exactly what made them unappealing. Of course, there were a few exceptions. I thoroughly enjoyed A Series of Unfortunate Events. And you can maybe include some school assigned readings such as Huckleberry Finn, Lord of the Flies, and To Kill a Mockingbird. But I just thought that books, in general, were stupid and useless.

"Well -- young Justin --  I will finally admit that I enjoy reading. So go read and be cultured. Stop wasting time doing nothing."

I'm trying to read a lot before I start my internship at EY. It'll be the "busy season" which means working overtime every week. Which means less leisure time. Which means less reading time. Which means -- you get the point.

I just finished reading The Blind Side by Michael Lewis. It's a solid book. And I am now more educated about the history of football -- YEAH SPORTS. And now, I've moved onto The Artisan Soul by Erwin Raphael McManus. Shoutout to Joe Hur for the reference.

I just started the book, and it has already addressed so many thoughts I had in my head. If you remember my last post, I talked about being stuck in two worlds. I want to be creative. But being an accountant isn't the most creative profession out there. This book makes a unique statement about creativity and art.

I, like many of us, think that there are two types of people. (1) There are the "creative thinkers", and (2) there are the "unoriginal workers". For example, we all know that person who is really artsy. They just know how to make something more beautiful -- music, drawings, pictures, etc. Then there's us: #basic. The artists are those who make GREAT things while we make, at best, GOOD things.

By the way, I think we can all agree that there's this scale that great > good. "Great work" is better than "good work". Weird thing huh.

Since we'll never be able to do something original or great, we should just forget about being creative and go do something practical. That's the common belief we all have and the thing we're taught from society -- if you can't be GREAT, then forget about it.

But McManus thinks otherwise. Let's bring it back to Genesis 1. When God created each thing, He saw that it was GOOD. It doesn't say GREAT, it says GOOD. And when God created us in His image, He saw that it was VERY GOOD -- still not GREAT. So why do we think that our work must be GREAT in order to be acceptable? God's work was good because He is good.

"Great is about execution and achievement; good is about essence and ethos" - Erwin Raphael McManus

We tend to focus on GREAT rather than GOOD because we want acknowledgement. We want fame, status, recognition. But what does God do? He focused on what is GOOD. He focuses on the essence of who He is and the essence of what is inherent in his work. Shouldn't we do the same? If we are created in His image, then we are to imitate Him -- who is Christ. You don't have to do great things to be an artist. It's about your intention and the purpose you put behind your work. You don't need recognition from others. You just need recognition from Him.

I'm going to stretch this a bit farther and make this argument. Why strive to achieve something great when the greatest thing has already been given to us? We have everything in Christ. We are seated in the highest position possible -- next to the right hand of God in Christ. So let's focus on creating the essence of who made us in His image -- goodness.

Brian || Taylor || Hnou || Xing || Judy || Esther || Josh || Jenine

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Stuck Between Two Worlds

I'm stuck between two worlds. And I don't know exactly where I belong. Of course, I'm stuck in a world that I'm not necessarily a part of. Because we know that we're IN this world, but not OF it. But this isn't the dilemma I'm talking about.

Let me explain . I'm a business major. But I'm also passionate about being creative through writing, photography, film, etc. And I can't quite fit into either group completely.

For example, I'm not the brightest business student. Sure, I can do accounting. It's pretty simple if you put the effort into learning it. But I'm not necessarily a "business" person. I'm not obsessed with the stock market. I don't really keep up with business news 24/7 like other students. I don't live and breathe business.

On the other hand, I'm not the most creative person. Hence, that's why I'm a business major. I think I know how to appreciate creativity. But I lack originality. I always wonder how artists think of ideas. It takes me forever to think of something. And when I do, it's probably not that original. Therefore, I'm an average "creative-ist" (if that's even a word).

So I'm stuck between two worlds: business and art. And I like to believe that I'm a bit above average in both. But I'm not excellent in either. I see how dull businesses are and the potential of how great they can be if it can embrace creativity. And I see how much creative people need structure and logical order to work more effectively.

I wonder if He will create a space for me to fit in. I'm stuck between two worlds.

Brian || Taylor || Hnou || Xing || Judy || Esther || Josh || Jenine

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How It Once Was

I had a life-changing opportunity to create a short film this past summer. And to be honest, I'm still wondering how something amazing like this came into my life. But let me share my personal thoughts about this film I wrote. For those of you who haven't seen it, you can watch it here.

Whatever you thought after seeing this film is probably what I thought. I have my own criticisms as well. And I have a lot more to learn. However, I am very thankful and blessed for even having this opportunity to have a JP family who is willing to take me in and allow me to take part in representing the JP name.

To be honest, I am sorry to my team and JP for not being the best writer. But I know that they will always encourage me and tell me that I have nothing to apologize for. And those words of encouragement will keep me determined in becoming a better writer and storyteller. More importantly, I'm very grateful to all the JP leaders for taking a chance on this "accounting" major to take part in a video that will impact JP's image (for better or for worse). As I'm writing this, I can't help but continue to apologize for not bringing about the best work.

At the same time, I am thankful for the fans of JP. While many provided some critiques, they did so in a way that wasn't degrading or discouraging. They were honest, yet gentle with their feedback. And I definitely agree with their comments. Now, I can only look forward and use those comments to develop my skills.

Finally, I want to be completely honest with the battle going on inside my mind. There is a portion of me that wants to play the blaming game -- only if (blank), then it would be better. Another part of me wants to criticize my inadequacies in writing -- you're not creative enough, you're a business person (this has been a battle recently, but I'll save that for another time).

"Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come." - 2 Corinthians 1:21-22

Nothing I do will ever be perfect. And that's okay. I'm a flawed person who's trying to learn and grow to become better. I've already been fully accepted as I am. That drives me to keep going for a different reason. I'm not practicing to achieve a position/status. My position/status in Christ will determine how I practice my life. So I give thanks to God and the JP family for accepting me regardless of my current progress in life.

Soli Deo Gloria

Brian || Taylor || Hnou || Xing || Judy || Esther || Josh || Jenine

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Only Child Syndrome

I always thought this isn't true. But based on my one minute of research on this topic, I realized that I have some elements of "only child syndrome". If you didn't know already, I'm an only child. And there are pros and cons to being an only child.

Being an only child was terrible at an early age. You have to deal with loneliness all the time. Apparently there are two ways how only children cope with being alone. Either they compensate by making a lot of friends, or they learn to have fun by themselves. I learned to have fun by myself.

I would always play boardgames with my mom or dad when they were available. When they weren't, I tried to beat myself. Can you imagine that? A kid trying to figure out how beat himself at chess when he knows what the other opponent is thinking about doing? It was hard. I wish I could go back in time and watch myself doing that. It would've been pretty entertaining (but that means I'm still having fun by myself by watching my young self... #mindblown).

So throughout my childhood, I learned to be independent. I entertained myself. I didn't mind doing things alone. Actually, I began to prefer to do things on my own. I can go at my own pace and do what I want. But things started to be less enjoyable as I grew up.

I moved from a private to public school as I entered 6th grade. I began to see how I needed to fit into a group in order to be popular. Thankfully, I got involved with percussion and found my first friend in public school. He introduced me to his other childhood friends, who were all in band. And I finally had a group of familiar faces I could talk with. But I didn't quite fit in with them exactly.

We all knew I was different (aside from the fact that I was Asian). It wasn't my race that made me feel different. It was our interests and hobbies. I never grew up obsessed with football, baseball, or basketball. My dad was never into sports. He knew the rules and whatnot. But he's not a diehard fan of any team or individual player. So because I felt a bit inadequate in "sports knowledge", I tried to familiarize myself with teams and players. But again, my friends never judged me or made me feel inadequate because of these things. They were and are still accepting of who I am. And I am very thankful for that.

This whole cycle of "trying to fit in" continued throughout my life. Even to this day, in some aspect. But now, I fight a different battle. I don't struggle with fitting in. I've accepted that my individuality is a blessing. I fight this battle of pride. The battle during my childhood was a fight to not be lonely. Now, it's turned into a fight of humility. It's so easy to get caught up with who likes you as a person, or who likes the work you do. I'm trying to remind myself where my worth comes from: the Giver of all gifts.

Soli Deo Gloria

Brian || Taylor || Hnou || Xing || Judy || Esther || Josh || Jenine

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Ignorance Is Bliss But...

It seems true that ignorance is bliss, but I don't think it's healthy. I'll use The Walking Dead as an analogy for my argument. And no, I won't spoil anything. But apparently there's a huge argument on whether I die or not. By me, I mean Glenn because I apparently look like him. Go see for yourself on my Instagram.

If you don't know anything about The Walking Dead, let me give you a quick summary. The story revolves around a group of survivors living in a post-apocalyptic world filled with zombies. If you die, you turn into a zombie. If you get bitten by one, then you get sick and die. Soon after, you'll become a zombie.

The main characters have been through a lot. They've been out fighting zombies and other human beings that have resorted to killing other humans for supplies. They've seen things that are unseeable. They've lost family and friends. Finally, the main characters come across a community living safely behind these giant steel walls. This happens in the most recent season -- season 5.

There's something unique about this community. None of the people living inside have experienced the outside world. They've lived safely behind their walls that surrounds a very nice suburban neighborhood. They've never had to go out and look for food because there has been a large supply to sustain them since the beginning of the apocalypse. Therefore, the people in the community have no experience in the "real" world. The main characters see them as weak children; they don't know how to fight or stay calm. Their ignorance was hurting their chance of survival.

I was reading Ephesians 6:10. It's about the full armor of God. Paul writes about how we're in a spiritual war. He stresses the importance of understanding that we are no match for what's out there. We must equip ourselves with the proper wisdom and gear to fight and survive.

I know it sounds a bit over-exaggerated. Demons and angels? Those are just metaphors. Those are just mythical stories. It's not real. But let me tell you that this ignorance has already reduced your chance of spiritual survival to 0%. If you refuse to believe that there is an enemy constantly at work against you, then they've already won the battle. They can hide without being seen and have a clear kill shot.

I'll be honest. I still sometimes think that this stuff is a little too extreme. I don't want to be seen as one of those "crazy/hardcore" Christians. But then I wonder if that's the enemy's doing. Don't get me wrong. I respect those around me and make sure to treat them with grace and kindness, just as Christ did. I'm careful about what I say to them so that I can show them small aspects of Christ in my life. But to my brothers and sisters in Christ who know what I'm talking about, don't be one of those ignorant people in the "safe" community in The Walking Dead. Train yourself. Equip yourself.

There will be unending battles. However, the war has been won.

Soli Deo Gloria

Brian || Taylor || Hnou || Xing || Judy || Esther || Josh || Jenine

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I'm a Prideful Person - And That's Not Okay.

If you remember, I wrote about a book I've been reading titled Wild at Heart. It has really challenged me to ask questions I never thought about.

What defines a man? Where does my heart lie? Where do I find my source of power and strength? What is my name (not literally, but spiritually/metaphorically)?

My biggest question at the moment is where I find my source of power and strength. More specifically, what things make me feel like a "man"?

Is it in my talents and gifts? Is it from my intellect? Is it from my ability to control my life? Is it in the number of likes and followers I have? Is it my ability to endure pain and show no sign of weakness?

Many of us just want to be worth something. We want the world to appreciate us for who we are. But it seems like the world has set standards on who we need to be in order to "make the cut". The world tells you all these things...

You must be able to be self-sustaining. Take care of yourself first. God helps those who helps themselves. You must create your own opportunities.

This is what the world has taught us. It has taught us how to be prideful. We have been conditioned to focus on ourselves and focus on receiving praise from the world. If you don't get followers, likes, favorites, shares, or views, then you're not worth anything. This has become the pattern of this world.

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2

The world says you must trust no one and sustain yourself. You must do all the work. You're not worth anything until you gain the praise of the world. Keep working until you make it. But I'd like to argue otherwise.

“God opposes the proud, but shows favor to the humble.” - James 4:6

I can get caught up on how many likes and favorites I get on the content I post. I always think about whether or not people will like the photos or videos I post. And it feels good when I get likes. But they mean nothing if my motives are wrong.

If I'm doing photography and film for the sake of fame, then it's a wasted effort. I must do it for a greater purpose because people come and go. Sometimes people will support you, and other times they'll leave you.

If we can humble ourselves before God, then we'll get our biggest like. We'll get our biggest follower. That's all that matters. As you humble yourself, don't be self-deprecating. Don't deny the talents and gifts that you've been blessed with. Accept compliments and praise from the world. But remember to direct those praises up to the giver of all gifts.

If you like reading, then check out my friends' blogs!

Brian || Taylor || Hnou || Xing || Judy || Esther || Josh || Jenine

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Sometimes You Just Gotta Sit

I like to stay busy. I like being productive with my time. I like optimizing anything and everything I do. There are always things to do. And I feel very awkward when I don't have anything to do. Seriously. When I finish my tasks for the day, I begin to worry that I forgot to do something.

I was thinking about what our "work" entails when it comes to being a Christian. If you're familiar with scripture, then you know that we are called to go out and make disciples of all nations. We're supposed to work by spreading the good news -- the Gospel. So as a disciple of Christ, we must work to glorify His kingdom in the way we love one another. But I was reading a passage and learned that being a disciple doesn't mean to work 24/7.

"As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10: 38-42

Most of you probably know the story of Martha and Mary. I've heard sermons on this way too many times. Honestly, I feel that I've gotten everything I could out of this passage. But I learned something new.

In verse 39, Mary "sat" at the feet of Jesus while Martha was working to prepare for her guest. I read the footnotes of my study bible, and it described Mary's physical posture/gesture. Mary is sitting at the Lord's feet. This is described to be "a disciple's proper place".

When I read this, it blew my mind. How can sitting be a disciple's proper place? Aren't we called to be working for God? There are people who need to experience God. There are people who need help, physically, mentally, and spiritually. But we're supposed to just sit and be still? Why? This is wasting time. We're running out of time.

Then I realized, we are made to rest. We are biologically programmed to rest by sleeping. On top of that, God rested. We're created in His image. Therefore, we need rest at times throughout our lives. More importantly, we need to rest in Him. He's the only one that can recharge you completely.

If you like reading, then check out my friends' blogs!

Brian || Taylor || Hnou || Xing || Judy || Esther || Josh || Jenine

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Wild at Heart

I started reading a book titled, Wild At Heart by John Eldredge. And I have to say, it's quite inspiring. I've only read through the first few chapters. But I can try and explain it in a nutshell.

As a Christian, I believe we were created by God. That being said, the book highlights how we were created. Men and women, according to Bible were created differently. Man is described to be created from the dust of the Earth (Gen. 2:7). Men were created from the "outback", as Eldredge puts it. On the other hand, women were created in the Garden of Eden. A place filled with beauty in every aspect.

We're made differently. We act differently. We have different functionalities. I don't think I have to prove that to you. It's pretty obvious in our lives. Boys will be boys. Girls will be girls. We're unique in our own way. Men have this instinct to be wild, adventure seeking. Women have this instinct to beautiful and captivating. And of course, this is a broad generalization. I'm NOT saying men can ONLY be wild and women cannot be adventure seeking. It's important to have a mix of everything, I believe.

For now, all I can say is that Eldredge has an interesting take on thinking about a man's heart. What defines a man? What is our purpose as a man? On the other hand, Eldredge's wife writes about a woman's heart. What defines a woman, her purpose, etc.? It'll be an interesting time as I read this book.

On another note, the book sparked a story idea that I've been working on for the past two months. I finally broke through the writer's block.

Another note: I started thinking about taking a road trip somewhere to seek adventure. This book is making me want to go out to nature... I hear Big Bend National Park is cool. Maybe that'll be my first stop. Just kidding. Maybe somewhere a bit closer for starters.

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Literal Vomit. #WordVomitWednesday

A couple of my JP fellows started this trend of #wordvomitwednesdays. It was to encourage us to write and keep our creative minds going (I think?...). But anyway, here I am writing in my delusional state of mind.

Ironically, I literally threw up monday night. Random fact. I haven't thrown up since middle school. But anyway, I've been bedridden for the past 36 hours. And I've finally managed to stay awake long enough to open my laptop and write this blog post.

I feel like I've been asleep for weeks, if not years. It feels like I've died and come back to life in a different world. Everything feels so delusional. But there's only one thing that I remember thinking throughout these past 36 hours. God is good.

Well, there's that. And there's also the fact that life can throw unpredictable things at you. I was completely fine on monday. I was working on things. I ate with friends. All of a sudden, I was puking everywhere. Then my body shut down. All of this happened in a matter of a few hours. Now, I've been spending the past 48 hours recovering from some stomach virus.

I don't even know what I'm writing anymore. I don't think I'll even remember writing this. Hope everyone has a great wednesday? Is it even a wednesday? Goodnight.

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Self(less or ish)ness?

Last night I went to Tori Kelly's concert here in Austin. It was amazing (for the most part). What made it less amazing was the people. Ugh. People are so SELFISH. For example, there's was a group of 15ish people who cut in line before the concert. And there was a couple who tried to push their way in front of me. Then one of them had the audacity to ask me "Can you move bro?" No I can't move because you're trying to make my personal space your space.

How can people be so selfish? Why are people so selfish? Why don't people have any common courtesy? Then I had one of those Jimmy Neutron "brain blasts". I remembered everything God has been showing me the past few days.

Let me backtrack to a month or two ago. I bought this bracelet from myintent.org. Basically, it's a metal washer and some string. You engrave a word onto the washer and pay $15 for it. I know, some of you all think it's a waste of money. But that's not the point. The point is that I chose the word "SELFLESSNESS". And little did I know, this word would come to mean so much more to me now than it did back then.

I'm going to credit Isaac Lim (my bible study teacher), Christian Lee (a pastor at New Philly), and Judah Smith for the following insight.

The Essence of Sin is Selfishness
Adam and Eve disobeyed God because they believed that they could become like God. They were thinking about themselves. Look at the ten commandments. The first couple laws deal with loving God. The others talk about loving your neighbor. No where does it talk about YOURSELF.

God is the Essence of Selflessness
Let me explain. I think we can all agree that God is love. And according to 1 Corinthians 13:5, "[Love] does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered..." If God is love and love is selflessness, then God is selflessness.

Sin is the opposite of God. It's everything against God. Coincidentally, sin is selfishness which is the complete opposite of selflessness (which is God).

My Conclusion
I never thought about this word so intently when I first designed my bracelet. Originally, I just wanted to be reminded to be selfless and serve others. That's what Jesus did. And I wanted do what Christ did. 

Ironically, selflessness isn't just an action of God. It's the essence of God. To be more like Christ is to become more selfless. But it's our human nature to be selfish. We grow up learning to say "mine". We're taught to hate others for their well-being. Why is it that we wish misfortune on others when they are blessed? It's so weird how we automatically resort to selfish thoughts. But that's proof that we are born sinners.

But if we live with Christ in us, we can overcome our selfishness. Through Christ, we can serve others and be selfless. Christ came down to serve. Not to be served. 

And only he can do that because he is full in God. He is God. He doesn't need to be served because he is complete and fulfilled in God, who is the essence of selflessness.

"The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth." - John 1:14

Hope you guys can be encouraged through this. Sorry if it was a bit longer than usual. But props if you made it to the end!

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Uncomfortable

I listen to hip-hop, believe it or not. I know I don't look like a guy who would listen to that kind of music. Justin's so boring. Justin's so serious. Justin only listens to jazz or classical music. SURPRISE!

Hip-hop is probably the last genre anyone choose to be "Christian". But I'm about to surprise you with an artist, who I think is pioneering into the hip-hop industry. ANDY MINEO: caucasian, italian rapper from NYC. I know what you're thinking. Christian rap? That must suck. "Christian" anything is mediocre, if not horrible.

Side rant: that's something that bothers me to this day. If we've been gifted and enter the fields where God wants us to be, then we should be excelling and representing the kingdom. We should be the best if God's on our side. I think there are Christians who are trying to bring the "Christian genre" into some aspects of life when they shouldn't be (because they're doing it poorly). But again, I digress.

Andy Mineo just recently came out with his second album. It's sick. I was listening to it all week while studying. But anyway, I was listening to his first song titled "Uncomfortable". And it spoke so much truth to me.

To put it in a nutshell, Mineo raps about one of America's biggest issues. We seek to live as comfortably as possible. And there's nothing wrong with relaxing and resting. But there's a time to work hard. And there's a time when we are blessed to rest in Christ.

I love the beginning of the song. It starts with these words.

Nobody told me you could die like this

Nobody told me you could die from bliss, yeah

As these lyrics go on you'll notice that the major chords change into an erie minor chord. Essentially, Mineo addresses the issue in America. We seek to gain comfort in worldly things and find bliss in them. However, we're actually dying by chasing the comforts of this world. We're losing sight of Christ, who is the true source of joy/bliss/happiness.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^a whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. - James 1:2-4

I'll leave the lyrics here, and let you guys take a listen to it. The website has all his lyrics analyzed with biblical passages tied to some stanzas. Hope this song encourages you to fight the good fight and run the race!

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I'm A Sinnah

I know I've already made a post like this a while back. But I always have to remind myself that I'm a sinner. I'm not perfect. I make mistakes. I need a savior. Thankfully, all of my flaws and failures have been accounted for. And I've received a grace that no words can possibly explain.

This past weekend was a strange experience for me. I felt empty, tired, burnt out, and lifeless. I felt extremely tired throughout the day. I'll admit it. I fell asleep during today's sermon. PC, if you're reading this. I'm very sorry... Haha. HOWEVER, during the small instances I was awake, God was gracious enough to let me hear words that have encouraged me.

We all want joy. And that joy is found in Christ and Christ alone. If we don't find any joy, then something's wrong on our part. Let's be honest. We're the ones who screw up. God's always constant and never changing, thankfully.

It's our sinful nature, unfaithful habits, and lack of eternal/Godly perspective that cause us to stray away from the joy found in Christ (shoutout to PC for these words of encouragement). But it made me think. What happens when we screw up? Now what? Guilt sets in. I don't feel like I can go back.

I was reminded of an analogy that Judah Smith provided in one of his books. It provides some insight on the concept of God's grace. Let's say you were married to a significant other. And let's say that the other promised to never leave you no matter what you do to him/her. Of course, that should technically happen in a real marriage. But aside from that, what would you do?

Would you purposely, knowing that you'll be forgiven, go out and abuse that grace? Would you go out and start sleeping with everyone? Would you go out and do that nasty habit of yours, whatever it may be? I highly doubt you would do that to the one you love. I highly doubt you'd do that once you've truly experienced grace. That's God's grace.

When people start talking about the idea of "All I have to do is say a prayer and I get into heaven?", it frustrates me and saddens me. Those people haven't truly experienced the grace of God. And when they do, they will no longer want to abuse this scandalous, unexplainable, ridiculous, illogical grace that we receive every day.

But I'm still a sinner. That fact doesn't change. But knowing that I'm forgiven no matter what, I can live differently. I can live by grace every day. Not in an abusive way, but in a joyful way.

'Cause I am a sinner
If it's not one thing it's another
Caught up in words
Tangled in lies
But You are a Savior
And You take brokenness aside
And make it beautiful
Beautiful

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What Makes a Good Leader?

Earlier today in one of my management classes, we discussed the attributes of a good leader. We spent a good portion of the class listening to Simon Sinek, who is a great speaker and very knowledgable. He gave a TED talk that revolved around a single question. What makes a good leader? Or what are good attributes of a leader?

According to Sinek, humans have developed the concept of community. From a scientific standpoint, danger has always existed in the world. And it was more apparent back in the "caveman" days. There were dangerous things all around us. For example, there are bears, lions, tigers, and dragons (maybe) out there to kill us. In order to avoid this danger, humans developed community. A community allows a group of humans to trust one another and create an environment of safety in the midst of the "dangerous" world.

So let's go back to the main question. What makes a good leader?

To put it in a nutshell, a good leader can foster an environment where an organization/group is built on trust. Trust allows people to feel safety, which is what we (scientifically) desire in a dangerous world. For example, if we were out in the wilderness, I want to trust that you can keep watch at night while I sleep.

But Sinek goes on to explain that trust cannot be forced. An authoritative leader can't command you to trust someone. It's just not possible. Trust is something that is abstract. It's somehow developed. It's different. It's complex. It must come from within.

But it got me thinking about how Sinek's research relates with the church. A church is considered a community/organization. And we, as the church, have a leader. Our leader is God. So Sinek's research can apply to the church.

Recall, Sinek stated that trust cannot be forced. Trust is something that cannot quite be explained. Trust is just... trust. There are many parts of scripture where God tells us to trust in Him. I don't know about you, but I still struggle in trusting God. So how can we trust in God if His command doesn't make us do it? It's the same issue with other organizations in the world today. How do we develop trust? What makes trust?

I believe that our faith develops our trust. The only way we can trust in God is by having faith in Him. But that goes on to another question. How do we get faith in order to develop our trust?

"Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith." - Hebrews 12:2 

If you haven't guessed already, the answers always Jesus. Like seriously.

1. Jesus is the perfecter of our faith. 
2. That means Jesus is the perfecter of our trust in God. 
3. As a result, our trust in God provides us complete satisfaction/peace/safety in life.

I'm beginning to see God's truth in every aspect of life. Even the "secular" research of Simon Sinek points back to Christ.

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Grace Runs Deeper.

I want to share a short story about this past Friday. I attended one of our ministries called "East Austin". Let me explain it in a nutshell, even though I've only been once. Basically, a handful of our college members head over to an after school program for elementary kids. We play with the kids, worship with them, and read bible stories with them.

Honestly, I only went to take pictures. And that's what I did after I built some cool lego cars with some kids #bestchildhoodmemories. But afterwards, God reminded me of a passage from Matthew 18. This is Jesus speaking. 

"And he said: 'Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.'" - Matthew 18:3

Sounds kind of weird right? Why would God want kids? Sure, they can be cute most of the time. But they also throw tantrums, scream, cry, etc. But I highly doubt that's what Jesus is talking about.

I don't know everyone's childhood experience. But I can briefly share mine. I remember being carefree and happy. Why did I feel that way? Well, some of it was because my attention was easily occupied at the most random things. I could imagine a set of car keys as an airplane. But I'm digressing.

I was without worry, fear, anxiety, or stress because I trusted my parents. My parents were always around to reassure me that they love me. My parents put me first: they made sure I was fed, warm, clean, healthy, etc. And I think that's what God wants from us. He wants us to trust Him completely without worry.

I think about the moments when my dad threw me in the air. Did I ever think that he was going to drop me? Did I ever doubt his strength to catch me safely? Of course not. In the same way, I believe God wants us to trust Him with that mentality. I'm not saying it's easy to let go, but we should be confident that He can handle it. He did say it himself. It is finished.

Side note: Just wanted to share this song we played today at service. The bridge really spoke truth to me today.

Where there was sin your love rushed in
Where sin runs deep your grace runs deeper
For all enslaved the ransom paid
Light of the world, yours is the power

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"You Ain't Gotta Do This..."

Random story for the day:

I was walking to meet a friend for coffee. On the way, I pass by a moving truck and thought nothing of it. That is, until I heard, "Aye! Yo! Smile man! You ain't gotta do this s***." I looked over confused at who this African American guy is talking to. He was talking to me.

I was still processing the fact that he was talking to me. So I looked at him for a solid 10 seconds, dumbfounded. I don't remember what he said afterwards. But I remember him mumbling something about kids these days not enjoying life, loving life, etc. In my head I was thinking, "You right brutha. 'ppreciate you speakin' the truth to me today."

I apologize for my terrible attempt to type out my "hood-like" thinking. But you know, we gotta immerse ourselves in the culture to understand and love people.

Personal lesson for the day:

Be thankful. Life's not easy, and we have to work hard sometimes. BUT the hardest work has been done. We don't need to work our way to God. He came down to meet us where we're at.

"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." John 8:36

I heard a sermon on this verse not too long ago from a pastor at the Austin Stone.  There are no conditions on this verse. It doesn't say "... the Son sets you free IF you do better, work harder, act holier, etc." Nope. Jesus has set us free. So we're free. Done. Finished. Close the books.

That should give us relief. That should change the way we live life. We can work, play, live with the knowledge that we're free! This truth should empower you and me to live life in a completely different way.

So I hope we can all be encouraged by my brutha, "We ain't gotta do this...". Because God's already done it.

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Need vs. Want

I was reading Psalm 50 this morning, and it got me thinking about my needs versus wants. This is a pretty big idea, if you think about it. Your needs and wants can be applied to almost every part of life. Initially, everyone thinks about your material needs/wants.

Do you need that extra money to get that extra thing? Do you actually NEED that upgraded computer/car/phone/etc? Or do you WANT all those things? I'm not trying to call anyone out or make anyone feel guilty. I have a lot of "wants" too, and I think it's something that we've been conditioned to do.

But this chapter got me thinking. What do we actually NEED in life? And what do we WANT in life? Aside from basic survival needs, I think we only need one other thing. We NEED God, but many of us don't WANT Him. Ironically, God doesn't NEED us. But He WANTS us.

God always wants to be with us. He cares for us. He "SO LOVED the world" (John 3:16). But He doesn't need us. He doesn't need our money. He can make anything without it. He doesn't need our "talents". They're not that useful compared to what He can do. He doesn't need anything from us. He just wants us. That's it.

It's amazing when you realize that He wants you. He wants your heart. He doesn't care about what you have to offer Him (it's of no use to Him anyway). He just wants you, in your brokenness and flaws.

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I _____ My Life.

If you were to fill in this blank, what word would you use? Do you "love" your life? Do you "deal with" your life? What about "hate"?

I came to think about this for the past few days after hearing a few strangers talk at me. And yes, I mean they talked at me. Let me explain. This past weekend, the most random occurrences happened to me while running some errands.

First, I went to pick up some water bottles for a church event. As I was buying the water, the cashier asked me how I was doing today. I replied, "I'm doing well. And you?" He responded, "I hate my job and my life. I'm a trophy husband who wants to go home and read comics." That escalated quickly, seriously.

The next morning, I was walking to my car. A biker passed by, looked me in the eyes and said, "I hate my life." Again, that escalated really quickly. I'm still in shock of why anyone would feel comfortable telling that to a complete stranger.

This got me thinking. What do I think about my life? How do people think about their lives? Do majority of people hate it and live in depression/darkness all the time? Or is it the other way around?

I came to realize that I was complaining about a lot of things in my life. Why am I back at school studying accounting? I don't even enjoy it all that much. Why can't I go think, write stories for the rest of my life? Don't get me wrong, I appreciate accounting. We need accountants. But I don't think it's going to be a lifelong thing for me.

After hearing a sermon today, I was convicted to change my perspective on my current circumstances. Sure, I may not completely love what I'm doing right now. But as a Christian, I'm called to do my best no matter what I'm doing. We're called to be the best for His sake regardless of whether you're a CEO, janitor, doctor, teacher, reporter, etc. I've been blessed with resources that make me in the top 1% of the world. There's no way I should be complaining or unsatisfied. Instead, I should be in awe and thanksgiving every second of my life.

So that's my determination. Life is a gift from God. I just realized that I'm reading a book called, "Life is ____" by Judah Smith. So I'll shamelessly plug in some of his quotes.

Life is to be loved by God and to love [others].

Life is to trust God in every moment [good or bad].

Life is to be at peace with God and yourself.

Life is to enjoy God [and His goodness].

Hope we can all strive to live a life of joy in Christ. Because He is so worth it.

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Doing Good Is Contagious.

That's the motto at Jubilee Project. And you should check out their Youtube channel if you haven't heard of them! That being said, my two weeks at the JP Fellowship has come to an end. And God has taught me so much in these two weeks.

Community Can Be Built In 2 Weeks
If you don't believe me, then go to the Fellowship. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it happened. It was amazing to witness how 14 people living under one roof can grow together. It was through our vulnerability, encouragement, and service that made this possible.

My team leader, Eugene, put it this way. We all put on face when we're in public, but it's not the real version of who we are. Underneath that, we have a layer of shame. And in the center, we have our true self. In two days, everyone at the fellowship shared their most vulnerable stories. We tore off the masks. And through that, we were able to start building each other up. Being vulnerable is a sign of courage (shoutout to Kevin).

I pray and hope that I can bring this back home. This is something that is needed to grow/encourage each other in Christ. No one is perfect. And that's okay, because there's a greater Grace to be received.

Doors Open and Close
I got to listen to Michelle D. Jones, who is an amazing woman of God. She held a workshop session at the JP Conference. She briefly talked about how our God-given desires are worth pursuing. However, there is a difference between creating our desires and pursuing them.

We are called to follow His will. That does NOT mean we should start busting down doors to create opportunities. It means we should patiently prepare ourselves until a door is opened and/or closed. As long as we're doing our best to serve and live a selfless life according to His will, He will open and close doors as we journey through life.

There's so much more to talk about. But this is the best I can do to put it in a nutshell. I hope this post can encourage many of you. And I pray that we can all live by His grace.

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Jubilee Project Fellowship (so far)

It's only been 2 full days here at Jubilee Project Fellowship. And I've already learned/experienced so much. The people here are unique, amazing, talented, and diverse. I wanted to share a few thoughts.

It's amazing to see how people from all over the world can come together, put aside their differences, embrace each other's uniqueness, and collaborate together. On top of that, we are able to be open and honest with one another. I've never been in any other environment that has fostered such a warm, open, safe environment.

Although JP doesn't affiliate themselves as a "Christian" organization, its values speak for themselves. People here live out a Christian life without having to even say it. I can honestly say that the "fellows" here are accepting, non-judgemental, and selfless. I have truly witnessed what it's like to live out your faith rather than stating it.

I'm not here to cause controversy on whether or not a person/organization should or shouldn't pronounce their faith publicly. But I can say, with confidence, that it's more important to live out the Christian faith instead of just saying it. 

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LA

I'm in Los Angeles, California. It's day 3 of my 3 weeks here. And it's been amazing. Please don't take this the wrong way, but I have truly been blessed with an amazing opportunity. And by no means did I do anything to earn/deserve it. So here are a few points to sum up my trip so far.

My Aunt Is A Balla

I've been staying with my aunt for the past few days, and she has shared so much wisdom with me. Her lifestyle has humbled me. And her passion for God astounds me. She lives so passionately, simply, and humbly. In a society where we always want more, she is able to live a simple life without extravagant things. She lives happily.

It's All God's Doing

The people I've met in these past few days are wonderful. It's honestly a small world, and God has brought me to people who have amazing testimonies and backgrounds. It feels so surreal having met the people I've met. Honestly, there are no words to describe this feeling of excitement. As a result, there is no way I can't credit Him for providing this opportunity.

Humility Is The Key

God continues to humble me here as I meet people. It's amazing to hear people's stories and how they have lived their lives. At the same time, we all have a commonality under Christ. We're all here on earth with the same purpose in mind. But we also have our personal convictions in how to fulfill that ultimate goal.

God is good. Period. More updates to come in the following weeks!

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EY.

Summer's finally here, and it's been a month since I've written anything. Things have been a bit busy.

• Finished Finals
• Office Visits for my internship offers
• Friends graduations
• Jubilee Project Fellowship
• English Maymester Course (which I just finished today!)
• Summer School started at UT
• Accepted my offer with Ernst & Young (also known as EY)

So a lot has happened since the last time I've written a post. Honestly, it's nice having a busy summer. I stayed in Dallas for only a week, and I felt like my body was rotting away. The longer you are in college, the less you want to stay at home. But busy-ness can also be a dangerous thing.

I've received a lot of opportunities this summer. Honestly, there are so many blessings in my life. And I haven't done anything to deserve or earn them. For example, I've started working with my Jubilee Project team. That's been such an exciting process. Also, I've officially signed my internship offer with EY! For those of you who don't know what that is. EY is an accounting firm. So I'll be working their during the spring semester of 2014. But like I said, I'm so thankful that God has blessed me with these opportunities.

Back to the dangers of busy-ness. I've found myself being a little too busy. It's good to be occupied and to be productive with your time. However, it's a problem when you lose your priorities. I found myself losing sight of what really matters, which is Christ.

In my case, I began to give credit to myself for the things I accomplished. Whether it was small chores or assignments, I didn't give thanks to Christ. This is obviously not a good thing. If I can't put God at the center of the small things I do, then how could I possibly keep him in the center of the big opportunities I have. More specifically, I don't want to lose sight of Christ in my opportunities with Jubilee Project and my EY internship.

So yeah. That's what's been happening. As you can see, I'm in no way a perfect person. But I want to share my experiences to encourage whoever is reading this.

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A Weekend of Blessings.

"Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. for the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him."  - Isaiah 30:18

This weekend has been surreal. Too many things happened, and I feel like it has been all a dream (partially because I've been taking a lot of naps). Three crazy things happened this weekend. But I'll keep it concise and share about two of them.

#1. Jubilee Project Fellowship
I applied for a film internship/volunteer position with Jubilee Project. If you haven't heard of them, I recommend that you check them out on YouTube! (https://www.youtube.com/user/jubileeProject) It's a non-profit organization that makes short films and documentaries about social injustice/awareness topics.

At first, I wasn't going to apply because the application requires a 4-6 page script. I've never written a script, so I didn't want to embarrass myself. However, an idea sparked into my head a week before the deadline. I wrote it, and sent it in (Shout out to John Ki, Jooch Kim, and Joseph Hur for proofreading and providing feedback). And as of Friday, I have been accepted into the Fellowship! All honor and glory to God.

I don't know what to expect. All I know is that it's a two week camp to film a short, learn, and meet people! I still haven't processed this amazing opportunity that I've been given.

#2. A-Team
This past Friday, I was announced to be one of four administration leaders for my college fellowship. I have to say that it is such a blessing to have an opportunity to serve the church in this capacity. And of course, I'm very excited to work with my other 3 team members: Lisa, Jennifer, and Yeachan.

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I want this post to encourage you all. I'm not here to brag. Honestly, I don't deserve any of these blessings that I've received. I continue to find fault and flaws in my life. But I want to testify that God blesses those who wait upon Him.

God wants the best for us. What Father doesn't want the best for His children? However, I believe that it's important to wait on His schedule and His time. If we truly believe that He knows WHAT is best for us, then we should also know that He knows WHEN is the best time for us. Let me go back to the two things I shared.

#1. This past school year, I've had a desire to try filming. I had so many ideas I wanted to create. But school kept me busy. I became frustrated because I didn't have an opportunity to try my interests. Throughout each semester, I found myself complaining. I even began to question my major. But God answered my prayer and gave me an opportunity.

#2. Ever since my freshman year, I wanted to serve on A-Team. But they were for the wrong reasons. Business always tells you, "it's a good resume builder". That was my reason. It's a stupid reason.

Side note: If you're doing something just to put it on your resume, then your priorities are messed up. But that's a rant for another time.

I had all the wrong reasons to want to be on A-Team. Eventually, I didn't think much about A-Team. I didn't see it as something that I needed, but rather as something that I would gladly accept if I was called to serve. I was at peace with whatever happens.

So there you have it. God taught me to be patient. To wait on His time and to be at peace with whatever happens and whenever it happens. So I hope you pray and ask for patience. I hope you can pray to wait upon the Lord. He'll bless you at the right moment.

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"Jesus Wept"

"Jesus Wept" - John 11:35

If you want to memorize at least one verse of the Bible, I think think this is the shortest verse. But I believe it's also a verse that has so much weight and meaning to it. If you're not familiar with the background of this story, then I'll do my best to sum it up in a nutshell. Again, I'm not a pastor. So I'll probably make mistakes. Therefore, you should read it for yourself.

There was a man named Lazarus, who was very sick. Mary and Martha, who were very close to Jesus, ask him to come see Lazarus.

"So the sisters sent word to Jesus, 'Lord, the one you love is sick.'" - John 11:3

Long story short, Jesus decides to wait two more days before making his way towards Lazarus. Spoiler alert: Lazarus dies by the time Jesus comes to see him, Mary, and Martha. When Jesus arrives, he sees Lazarus and brings him back to life. The end.

But why did Jesus weep when he arrived? He's the one that showed up late. And he knew that he was going to raise Lazarus back to life. If he already knew that Lazarus was going to be revived, why did he weep with Mary and Martha?

The rest of this explanation came from a Judah Smith sermon. Surprise. To put it simply, God is a PRESENT God. Although he is not bound by time, he is a present God for our sake. In this story, Jesus took the time to be present with Mary and Martha. He wept with them EVEN THOUGH he knew what was going to happen afterwards.

Think about it this way. Let's say you're talking to another person. In the middle of your conversation, the person becomes angry because he/she knows what you're GOING TO DO against them. That wouldn't seem very fair, would it? It's ridiculous that a person would be angry at you all the time because he/she knows that you're GOING TO hurt them in the near future.

Think about God's situation. He knows when you're going to rebel/deny Him. He knows exactly what you'll be wearing, where you'll be, what time it will be when you sin against Him. But He loves you as you are in the PRESENT moment. He loves you now EVEN THOUGH you have sinned and will sin against Him. That's how unconditional His love is for you. He will always love you NOW. I think that's amazing.

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Twenty One Years Old.

As I'm writing this, I am one hour away from turning 21. But honestly, nothing will be any different. Sure I can legally drink and whatnot, but I'm still just a imperfect person trying to follow Christ. It's just like what my dad wrote me in my birthday letter...

"So now you are legal (whatever that means to you). But we are not defined by the laws and ways of this world. We are defined by His way."

Each year, I get to look back and see how dumb I was the previous year. I think about how I worried about the most insignificant things. I think about how funny it was when I took something too seriously. And I question, "how could you have thought/acted like that back then?" I've had a bad habit of judging myself harshly. But now, I think God has shown me a new way to look at things.

We're always going to make mistakes. Past, present, and future. But it's not what I do that defines me. My practices do not dictate my position/identity. Rather, it is what Christ has done and who He is that defines me. My identity in Christ determines how I practice/live my life. I've been reminding myself of this fact for the past few days.

If I base my life on myself, then I'll always have good and bad days. It won't be constant. It drove me insane when I tried living my life out this way. But if you base your identity off of Christ who is never failing and constant, then there is no such thing as good or bad days. It makes sense when you read and think about it. But it's difficult to apply it into your life. I'm still trying to work on that. But that's my encouragement to all of you who are reading this.

It's not about who you are or what you do. It's about who Christ is and what He has already done.

I want to give a quick thank you for everyone who surprised me: Jeanne, Rachel, Yeachan, Hana, Dan, David Alaska, DTK, KeeYoung, Eunice, Catherine, Eric, Richard, Su Min, Sharon, Nathan, Jennifer, Joseph, and Jooch. Photo Credit: Sunny.

And for the special gift I got: Nathan, D. Alaska, D. Chang, J. Hur, E. Ryu, Sunny, Jonathan Sok, DTK, Daniel, James, Peter, Richard, Jeanne, and Sharon!

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Are You Satisfied?

At some point in our lives, we'll find ourselves feeling dissatisfied. For me, this dissatisfaction stems from either worries/anxieties or jealousy. I catch myself being dissatisfied no matter what time of the year. For example, I feel dissatisfied when I'm in school because I begin to stress and worry about exams/homework/projects. When I'm on break, I sometimes feel dissatisfied because I compare my vacation to other people's vacation.

I don't want to be that guy. I don't like feeling like this, and I don't know where and how it enters my thoughts. And this has been a prayer request and new year's resolution for me.

 “But godliness with contentment is great gain." - 1 Timothy 6:6

I recently came back from a spring retreat with my college fellowship. One of the things that I remember was that we should be careful in what we pray to God. For example, if you ask God to help you love more, then He'll probably put you in a situation with the person you dislike the most. Or if you pray for patience, God will put you in a moment where you have to wait FOREVER. In my case, I'm praying for contentment in Christ. Therefore, I find myself in more situations of worry/anxiety and jealousy of others. Thanks Obama.

All jokes aside, I'm thankful that God allowed me to realize this now. I get jealous of others. I complain about my hardships to myself and God. I'm a broken person. And this break has been a blessing to see how flawed I am. Now, I'm trusting God to work on me.

Do you find yourself feeling like me? Jealous of others? Worried or anxious about what is to come? I want to encourage you all. Godliness (being aware of God's presence and existence) will allow you to be content in life. And this contentment is the source of true wealth, which is satisfaction. Isn't that what everyone is looking for in life? Permanent satisfaction?

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"Is Your Imagination of God Starved?"

It's been a while since I've posted. But I'll get straight to the point. I've been doing a devotional book that I received from my aunt in 2009. I know what you're thinking... "WOW I can't believe you JUST started it." I'm not perfect, and thankfully God's grace is sufficient. So holla at ya boi if you're imperfect too.

Anyway, I just wanted to share the awesome things I've been experiencing and feeling for the past few weeks. Here's the main question: "Is your imagination of God starved?" I didn't understand this question when I first started the devotional, but it became more clear to me throughout the short excerpt.

My imagination of God does not accurately portray who God is and what He is capable of. And I'm sure your imagination is limiting God's power/image/ability. We limit His power, capability, and ability through our own idols, circumstances, and situations.

For me, my idols can revolve around school. My world and life revolves around school as a college student. Therefore, my circumstances and situations are all school-related. And when I pray to God, I sometimes don't expect Him to answer my prayers. And it's because I limit his capacity and ability to do things in my own imagination.

Sometimes I feel like I'm throwing up a prayer and hoping that God catches it. Sometimes I think, "There's no way that I can finish this (put blank here) in time. It's not possible." Just because I think it's impossible doesn't mean God can't fulfill it.

So I've begun to change my perspective in prayer. God isn't distant. He's here next to you. God can do ALL THINGS, whether you know it or not. Don't limit His power/ability with your deprived imagination and experiences in life. There's so much more that He can do. And we can't possibly comprehend what He is capable of.

Pray with faith, knowing that He is listening to you. Pray with confidence knowing that He loves you and cares for you. Pray, trusting that He knows what's best for you. But also pray in awe of His goodness and grace.

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1 Chronicles 18:11.

^"King David dedicated these articles to the Lord, as he had done with the silver and gold he had taken from all these nations: Edom and Moab, the Ammonites and the Philistines, and Amalek."

I was doing a quick morning devotional, and I came across this verse. At first, the verse doesn't seem like much. It's just part of a typical Old Testament story. But then I read it again. This verse stuck in my head for some odd reason.

Right now, I'm in the recruiting process to get an internship. And it's been really fun to meet firms and their staff. But I think this verse serves as a warning to me (and maybe you too). Don't get caught up in all of it. Don't begin to direct everything towards yourself. Don't make it about you even though people say it's about you.

I bet King David plundered a whole bunch of gold and silver. He defeated 5 nations at this time. 5 nations. That means he took the wealth of 5 little economies. That's a whole bunch of money. I don't know how much that is worth in today's time. But I bet he felt like he won the lottery at least once or twice.

But here's amazing thing. He still dedicated all this wealth he received back to God. That's tough. I wonder if I'll be able to dedicate my success (if I do ever become successful) to Him. Greed is a real temptation, and I hope I'll be able to overcome it when the time comes. I hope that I'll be able to direct others to Him when they look to me (if that ever happens).

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Boston and New York.

So it's been about half a week since I came back from my week long vacation. If haven't guessed already, I went to Boston and New York! 4 days in Boston and 3 days in New York. It was my first time going there for a vacation break.

Here are some things that I learned and experienced.

It was very cold.
Very cold. Negative 15 degree wind chill. Therefore, I wore a thermal, long sleeve shirt, sweater, light jacket, scarf, and coat. And I also bought myself some yoga looking/feeling pants. Don't judge me.

Everything is expensive.
Food. Subway tickets. Apartments. Clothes. Stuff. Everything.

I will never live in New York. 
And I most likely will not live in Boston. It's too busy and congested. I like my space.

On a more serious note, I saw a big problem that could enter into my life in the near future. Consumerism/Materialism is a huge trend. In my opinion, New York is the epitome of consumerism/materialism. It's ridiculous how much money gets spent in that city in a single day. People are buying souvenirs, clothes, food, etc. And it's definitely not cheap.

I'm not sure how to explain it, but I felt a conviction not to live that kind of life. I'm not saying buying things for yourself is wrong. We all need to buy things in order to survive and do what we need to do. But I want something else. I want to evaluate whether or not the thing I'm buying will lead to God's glory

"For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil." - 1 Timothy 6:10

I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with being rich. God blesses some for certain purposes in His great plan. And it'd sure be nice if I could be one of those people. But I shouldn't use this idea as an excuse to justify my own pursuit for wealth. And neither should you.

If you think that your financial status determines your satisfaction in life, then you got it wrong. If you think that how much stuff you have determines your happiness in life, then you're wrong. True wealth and satisfaction comes from Christ and only Christ.

In my opinion, how little or much money I have should not determine my satisfaction and happiness in life. Only Christ determines my contentedness in life. And that means I can find contentedness and happiness all the time because He is constant and never shaken.

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2015: Godliness with Contentment

“But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.” - 1 Timothy 6:6-10

I know that was a handful of verses, but I’ve been convicted about seeking contentedness in life. Let me explain. I listened to a sermon over these verses a skiing vacation with my family. It may or may not have been a Judah Smith sermon.

The Sunday I came back, I heard Pastor Chae give a personal testimony about his past life. It was about the struggles and temptations he faced with materiality. Especially in America, society drives you to keep buying new things for yourself to find satisfaction. In the afternoon, I went to visit my old church and heard my pastor preach about the dangers of the lust of money. That same evening, I saw Lecrae (who is a Christian rapper), share a devotional he had about the same verses (1 Timothy 6:6-10). Coincidence? I think not.

“Godliness with contentment is great gain”. I find myself putting my identity in so many different things. I’m sure you’re the same as I am. We put our identity in our job, financial status, number of followers, likes, friends on facebook, retweets, etc. If you think about it, it’s quite silly that we gain our confidence and meaningfulness through these things. All these things fluctuate, and they are always shaky and changing. For example, you can’t control the economy. Therefore, you are not in full control of your money. The same can be said for everything else in this world.

Which leads me to this verse. “Godliness with contentment is great gain.” Isn’t it funny that the pursuit of money/wealth leads to dis-contentedness? We think money equals true wealth, but we’re always left unsatisfied. We always want to buy more things. The Bible says otherwise. True wealth lies within contentment. And contentment is tied to godliness. 

According to Judah Smith, godliness basically means having “God awareness”. If we are aware of God, then we should easily be content with our lives. How does that help us be content? Let's think about it. Isn’t God faithful? Won’t He provide what is necessary? If God is faithful, which He is, then why are we constantly trying to take over our life to ease our worries and satisfy ourselves?

If we are aware of God, then contentedness should be apparent in our lives. Just to be clear, contentedness does NOT mean laziness or settling down in life. Contentedness means to have a settled heart/mind/soul because we know who is in control of our lives. 

I want to be aware of God’s presence throughout this year because I know it will give me a settled heart, mind, and soul. I want to put my identity in Him because He is constant and never changing.

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