Twenty One Years Old.

As I'm writing this, I am one hour away from turning 21. But honestly, nothing will be any different. Sure I can legally drink and whatnot, but I'm still just a imperfect person trying to follow Christ. It's just like what my dad wrote me in my birthday letter...

"So now you are legal (whatever that means to you). But we are not defined by the laws and ways of this world. We are defined by His way."

Each year, I get to look back and see how dumb I was the previous year. I think about how I worried about the most insignificant things. I think about how funny it was when I took something too seriously. And I question, "how could you have thought/acted like that back then?" I've had a bad habit of judging myself harshly. But now, I think God has shown me a new way to look at things.

We're always going to make mistakes. Past, present, and future. But it's not what I do that defines me. My practices do not dictate my position/identity. Rather, it is what Christ has done and who He is that defines me. My identity in Christ determines how I practice/live my life. I've been reminding myself of this fact for the past few days.

If I base my life on myself, then I'll always have good and bad days. It won't be constant. It drove me insane when I tried living my life out this way. But if you base your identity off of Christ who is never failing and constant, then there is no such thing as good or bad days. It makes sense when you read and think about it. But it's difficult to apply it into your life. I'm still trying to work on that. But that's my encouragement to all of you who are reading this.

It's not about who you are or what you do. It's about who Christ is and what He has already done.

I want to give a quick thank you for everyone who surprised me: Jeanne, Rachel, Yeachan, Hana, Dan, David Alaska, DTK, KeeYoung, Eunice, Catherine, Eric, Richard, Su Min, Sharon, Nathan, Jennifer, Joseph, and Jooch. Photo Credit: Sunny.

And for the special gift I got: Nathan, D. Alaska, D. Chang, J. Hur, E. Ryu, Sunny, Jonathan Sok, DTK, Daniel, James, Peter, Richard, Jeanne, and Sharon!

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Are You Satisfied?

At some point in our lives, we'll find ourselves feeling dissatisfied. For me, this dissatisfaction stems from either worries/anxieties or jealousy. I catch myself being dissatisfied no matter what time of the year. For example, I feel dissatisfied when I'm in school because I begin to stress and worry about exams/homework/projects. When I'm on break, I sometimes feel dissatisfied because I compare my vacation to other people's vacation.

I don't want to be that guy. I don't like feeling like this, and I don't know where and how it enters my thoughts. And this has been a prayer request and new year's resolution for me.

 “But godliness with contentment is great gain." - 1 Timothy 6:6

I recently came back from a spring retreat with my college fellowship. One of the things that I remember was that we should be careful in what we pray to God. For example, if you ask God to help you love more, then He'll probably put you in a situation with the person you dislike the most. Or if you pray for patience, God will put you in a moment where you have to wait FOREVER. In my case, I'm praying for contentment in Christ. Therefore, I find myself in more situations of worry/anxiety and jealousy of others. Thanks Obama.

All jokes aside, I'm thankful that God allowed me to realize this now. I get jealous of others. I complain about my hardships to myself and God. I'm a broken person. And this break has been a blessing to see how flawed I am. Now, I'm trusting God to work on me.

Do you find yourself feeling like me? Jealous of others? Worried or anxious about what is to come? I want to encourage you all. Godliness (being aware of God's presence and existence) will allow you to be content in life. And this contentment is the source of true wealth, which is satisfaction. Isn't that what everyone is looking for in life? Permanent satisfaction?

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