Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Vlogging

So many of you probably know - I started vlogging since last Saturday. It's been quite an interesting experience, and I wanted to share some thoughts on it so far. Let's make it simple. I want to talk about what I expected before starting and what I think about it now.

Expectations Before Starting
I like to plan out things. So I've had different shots and time lapses in my head months before I decided to start vlogging. Every so often, I would stop and look at my surroundings and think about how cool this shot would look. But I didn't act upon it.

When I finally made the decision to start vlogging, I felt confident in my ability to capture some cool shots and angles. I also had a format that I wanted to follow - Casey Neistat. This made me feel comfortable and ready to hit the ground running at full speed.

My Thoughts On Vlogging So Far
My expectations were definitely met - for the most part. It's still awkward to have people look at you with a giant camera in hand. Other than that, it's all good. Shooting and editing is so fun. I love it. I love the aspect of having to think creatively in the way I shoot images and the way I present my material. And fortunately, I had a lot of fun things going for me this past weekend. I had originally planned to vlog everyday, but my thoughts have already begun to change.

Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy vlogging. But I'm still a student, and I have other interests that I want to continue pursuing. For example, I still want to find some time to read my list of books. I want to have time to keep screenwriting. And I realized that vlogging has taken up all of my free time that I used to have.
Should you then seek great things for yourself? Do not seek them. For I will bring disaster on all people, declares the Lord, but wherever you go I will let you escape with your life. - Jeremiah 45:5
These change of thoughts occurred today. As I was praying this morning, I got a weird conviction and feeling of uneasiness. I did my devotional, and it revolved around this question - "Are you seeking great things for yourself? Or are you seeking great things for God?"

At first, I thought to myself "I'm challenging myself to grow and become more knowledgable in film making". I must be doing what God wants me to do because I'm putting myself in uncomfortable situations. I convinced myself that there's nothing wrong.

However, I thought about it again as I watched the vlog I'm supposed to upload for today. Some of things I said were questionable in my own opinion. Is this really what I would say? Or did I just say it for the sake of appealing to a youtube audience?

So here's what I'm trying to say. I've decided to not vlog everyday because I can feel it becoming a bigger priority than my spiritual walk. And that's not a good thing. I want to make sure that I can put God first before trying to vlog everyday.

Of course, I'll still vlog - but probably not on a daily basis. Maybe God wants me to become a vlogger - maybe not. But what I know for sure is that I should never anything hinder me from spending quality time with Him.
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Monday, April 18, 2016

Wake up

The past week has been very, very weird. It sort of felt like a bomb of unpredictable chaos came into my life. Maybe I'm over exaggerating - but that's what I initially thought. All of this began last Wednesday.

First, I receive an email that put my Disney internship in a questionable position. With the new circumstances, I may not graduate on time by taking the internship. At that moment, I felt like the door was closing. I had to make a decision between the two options. And I struggled between two mindsets - either I can trust in God and be content with whatever happens or be upset and blame God/school/etc.

On the same day, I learn that our apartment complex had a chemical gas incident. A student committed suicide. And for some reason, I had the audacity to make some insensitive/blunt comments about the incident. I was more concerned about me not being able to sleep in my apartment that night. So I apologize for those who had to read my comments.

That night, I had a dream about being held at gunpoint in my car. I got shot - well I think I did. All I remember is the gun going off. My ears were ringing. I felt nothing. And I was looking down to see if I got hit. Then I woke up. At this point, I was shaken. I had no idea what was going on. I was in shock and scared all of a sudden. So I did the only thing I was taught by my parents - pray.

I prayed with no words in mind - I just sat there.

Then the words began to form. As I began to talk with God, He showed me that I wasn't awake. I haven't been paying attention to where He's placed me and why I'm here. I've been so focused on getting to the next destination in my own power. And it has hindered me from listening to God and being obedient in my current position.

None of this hit me until last night and this morning. I watched a video that my friend, Young, posted. And now I'm writing this to share God's goodness. I'm thankful that He has been gracious in lightly shaking me awake. He could have completely destroyed my life to make me wake up. But He didn't.

So I want to encourage you all to wake up - if you're asleep.


Oh yeah - and I learned I'll still graduate on time while going to Disney for the summer. But that's not the important thing.

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Saturday, April 9, 2016

Blessed Are The Merciful

Yesterday at small group, we discussed the beatitudes. It's also known as the Sermon on the Mount. I'm sure many of you are familiar with it - or at least it sounds familiar. I've heard it plenty of times, but like my leaders said, "it's always good to go back to the basics."
And [Jesus] opened his mouth and taught them, saying: Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you. 
After reading the section, there's an overarching theme. Everything that Jesus says seems to be opposite of how our world runs. Since when has society told us that humility will cause us to inherit everything? All I remember hearing is "if you don't fight for what you want, then you won't become successful." How often do we show mercy to others? We seem to operate on the idea of "an eye for an eye".

I wonder what would happen if our world became like this - right now. What would happen if everyone became selfless, merciful, and peacemaking. It's nearly impossible for my mind to fathom such a thing - which is quite sad. But it excites me because that's what the world will be when Christ returns. No weeping, no pain, no hurt, no war, no brokenness. The list can go on and on.

But that doesn't mean we should sit and wait. We can strive to be like Christ with the power of Christ in us. We can be influencers by going into the world and showing them what could be and will be. We don't have to be on the defensive, trying to avoid the world and it's ideologies. We can be on the offensive by sharing the grace we have received.
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Tuesday, April 5, 2016

What Do You Fear?

I don't know about you, but I tend to have a lot of irrational fears. More specifically, I have a lot of what if fears. I don't know if that makes sense, but bear with me. I think it'll make sense.

I always have these desires to try something out. It starts to come together in my head, and I really excited about the idea. But all of a sudden, the what if's seep into my mind.
What if this happens? You don't have this ready. What if people think this? You need to have this down first before you can do it. What if it doesn't turn out well? What if it takes too long?
After a little while, the idea gets drowned out by the what ifs. Then I forget it and go back into my daily routine. Is it just me? I can't be the only one that faces this. It's so frustrating sometimes.

But I came to a conclusion. If I never try it, then I'll never know what it could have been. It could fail, or it could turn out just as I thought (or maybe even better). I guess this goes back to the same idea of my previous post of Living Out Boldly.

So for those of you with ideas - go be bold and try it out. However, I have to put a caveat to that statement. Make sure your intention is centered around Christ. Because if you don't, that idea will most likely fail without God's support. But I'm sure many of you reading have the right mindset.

So I want to encourage you (and myself) that the ideas and desires you have can be from God. Pray about it, and don't let the irrational fears stop you from acting upon it. And when you act upon it, don't expect results immediately - nothing happens overnight. Maybe God wants us to be patient and wait upon His timing. Or maybe the idea you had wasn't the right thing. But you'll never know until you try.

I guess I just convinced myself to try something. Maybe this post was for me. Is that selfish? Oh well - sorry.


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