Thursday, October 30, 2014

Repenting.

The past week hasn't been so spiritually great. I felt myself becoming more and more distant from others and, especially, God. I tried praying, and I didn't know how to start or what to say. That's how empty I felt. But I asked for guidance in prayer and slowly began to repent.

It's always been a struggle for me to understand repentance. How much of a balance of repenting is "guilt" or "feeling remorse", and how much of it is "feeling restored/renewed"? I'm not a pastor or anything, so I could be wrong. But this is what I learned from scripture today.

When you know you've committed sin, you can't help but feel guilt/remorse/sorrow. For me, those feelings hit me really hard. I try to come back to pray and repent, but the feelings of guild/sorrow still remain. To me, it makes no logical sense to repent and feel instantly restored. I always feel like there should be a consequence for my wrongdoings. But then I read this passage in 2 Kings.
"Elisha sent a messenger to say to him, "Go wash yourself seven times in the Jordan, and your flesh will be restored and you will be cleansed." But Naaman went away angry..." - 2 Kings 5:10-11
"So he went down and dipped himself in the Jordan seven times, as the man of God had told him, and his flesh was restored and became clean like that of a young boy." - 2 Kings 5:14
Just a brief background of this passage. There was a guy named Naaman with leprosy, and he went to find the prophet Elisha to be healed. If you look at the first passage, it says that Naaman was angry. Why was he angry? He was angry because he expected Elisha to perform a complicated/spiritual/mind-blowing miracle to heal him. But instead, Elisha told him to go take a shower in the Jordan river. It seemed so simple. Too simple.

And of course, Naaman goes and takes his little shower. Boom. He's healed. It was such a simple thing, and Naaman thought it was supposed to be so complicated.

This is exactly how I feel when I try to repent, sometimes. I come before God, expecting to be scolded or punished for my wrongdoing. I feel remorse and guilt. I feel as if I must earn the forgiveness. But then I was reminded of the simplicity of forgiveness because of Christ's death on the cross. There's no punishment. It's been finished. Just like Naaman had to take a simple shower to be healed, I need only to simply repent.

And of course, the whole topic of taking advantage of His grace is a different story for another time.
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Monday, October 13, 2014

Self-Reminders.

I tend to be forgetful. Not so much on promises or plans that I make with other people, but I tend to forget the Truth about myself and God. Listening to PC's sermon served as a great reminder of who I am and who He is.

We all get caught up in the busy-ness of life. The world doesn't revolve around you or me. I know we hear it a lot, but it's a true fact that I tend to forget. In my case, I'm busy with school. I only think about my class schedule, when to eat, when to study, and when to meet up with people. It's a simple, mundane thing. But sometimes I forget why or what I'm doing.

Judah Smith mentions in his sermon that the world and the gospel define life as opposite things...

The world says that "practice dictates your position". You can only become worth something if you practice hard enough. You'll be loved, significant, made worth when you practice hard enough to attain that status. You'll become a CEO, superstar, most interesting person if you practice hard enough. Practice practice practice and then you can have it.

The gospel says the opposite. "Your position in Christ dictates your practice". In Christ, we have been seated at the right hand of God. We have already been given the highest position that can ever be achieved. And we did nothing to earn it. We were given this position out of grace.

That's the gospel. It's the truth. Christianity is a story of love. The gospel shows that you don't need to work for your position. It's been given to you. All you need to do is accept and believe in Christ. Embrace God's grace. But by all means, it doesn't mean life gets easier. Everyone suffers through life because the world is a broken place. We're all broken people. But in Christ, we can suffer with a purpose. In Christ, we have hope for eternal joy, peace, and happiness.

Don't follow what the world tells you to do. Don't listen to what society defines you as. You are not defined by your job, social status, financial status, race, or passions. You are a follower of Christ. You are a child of God. So I encourage you to live your life in Christ (in the highest position).
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Monday, October 6, 2014

Thank you all...

for your prayers and support. As pathetic as it may sound, last week was one of the most difficult weeks of my life. It could have arguably been the most difficult week of my life. And for that, I am very thankful that I somehow survived it.

This school year, I've seen so many people going through hardships. It's as if this is the year that my friends and I have been hit with a wave of confusion/chaos/conflicts. But there's been so much beauty in the midst of the craziness. There's been more compassion, kindness, prayer, accountability, and love among us.

I can testify that my college fellowship has supported me more than I could have imagined. Life can slap you in the face. Really hard. And most of the time, there's no way you can get back up on your own will. I experienced this first hand. And I must thank my brothers and sisters in Christ for their prayers.

There's no other place where I can rely on others for genuine support/prayer. I can testify that ACTS is a loving body in Christ. I can see it as I edit these pictures that I took from our social events. I can see it in the way we share our lives with each other. I can see genuine love being shared. And you can be a part of it too. We accept anyone and everyone.

Ultimately, I have to thank God for helping me through the week.

I don't deserve God's grace or mercy. Even throughout the week, I willingly disobeyed Him. I tried to find rest in other things besides Him. But He still provided and blessed me. I don't understand. And that's the beauty of it. God's grace is something that can't be understood. It makes no sense that anyone would still be faithful to someone who isn't faithful in return. It's ridiculous. It's scandalous. It's beyond rational. But it's there, and it won't be leaving anytime soon. It's amazing.

So if anyone needs some prayer, feel free to reach out. There's no such thing as a "stupid" prayer. We're all broken. We can't do anything on our own. Let the guy who's in charge of everything help you out. And even if you don't know whether or not God is real, give it a shot. You never know how your life can change.
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