End of 2013.

It's been a while since I've made post. But now that I'm done with finals and back home for break, I've had some time to relax and settle down. There's quite a lot that happened over the past month; however, I'm probably going to have to break the topics into different posts.

For those of you who don't know, I completed my first semester at McCombs. Classes were a bit more difficult than my previous year. And, unfortunately, I was not able to keep my perfect 4.0. In way, I'm thankful that I didn't receive all A's in my courses. At one point, I became arrogant and careless about my classes. I assumed that I could easily keep my perfect GPA. I was proven wrong. God humbled me. He showed me how much I really need to rely on Him in everything I do. No matter how naturally talented you are at anything, that talent is worthless without Christ being centered in what you do.


Now moving on to my break so far...
I haven't done much over my break. The only thing worth mentioning is that I finished a book titled "Jesus > Religion" by Jefferson Bethke. This book is truly eye opening and honest about the radical truths about Jesus. Like I said before, there is so much to talk about in this book. So I will probably make another post specifically about this book. It is a book worth reading. It's concise, simple, and modern.
Now the other part of my break will consist of serving as a leader in a "United Worship" youth retreat. I actually attended the training session today. To be honest, I volunteered for this retreat out of obligation to serve and make some use out of my break. I didn't think much about it when I agreed to serve. But I think God is slowly showing me that this opportunity is truly a blessing to change these the lives of the youth. For some reason, however, I feel some uncomfortable, uneasy feeling about the coming weeks. Whatever that may be, I can only pray for protection and conviction through His mercy and grace.

In addition, I may attend another college ski retreat. But it depends on my physical condition. So hopefully, God will fuel me through both retreats. Anyway, I am constantly encouraged by this song to persevere and continue to pursue Him... "When my heart is torn asunder" - Phil Wickham.

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A mistake I'll never make again

Today, I made a decision I will regret for the rest of my life. I promise that I will never make this mistake ever again.

Now let me explain a sad truth. When you see a homeless person and a dog with them, who do you feel more pity and sympathy for? Most Americans will probably feel sorry for that poor, hungry dog. Now this is in my own opinion and from my own experiences. How disappointing is that when someone feels more sympathy for a DOG rather than a human being. Yes, it's important to care for animals and whatnot, but when did we decide that it was okay to place an animal in front of a human being?
Why do we treat homeless people like they don't exist? So what if they've made mistakes in their lives? We make mistakes all the time. Some of them may not be as fatal and detrimental; however, mistakes are mistakes. No one is perfect. What makes you better than a person on the streets? Your looks? Your financial status? Your intelligence? The fact that your mistakes weren't as "stupid" as theirs? None of this matters. We're just like them. Imperfect. Flawed. Sinful. The list can go on and on.

Now here's the mistake I made today. I was on my way to leave for a tennis match. I looked down the alley and saw a homeless man eating out of a dumpster. A dumpster. This man was so hungry that he resorted to eating scraps out of a trash bag. He's living in one of the wealthiest countries in the world. A country that has a plentiful amount of resources: food, water, electricity, etc. And he's eating out of a dumpster.
I felt disgusted in so many different ways. Not of what he was doing, but of how he was pushed to the limit and had no other choice in order to survive. What's even worse is that I got in the car and left. I didn't want to keep my friends waiting. I didn't want to be judged. I had things to do.
I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I let a man be humiliated in one of the worst possible ways anyone can be humiliated.

I will never make this mistake again. I will never make an excuse not to help someone in need. A few minutes of my time to help someone in a dire situation is worth more than me spending it in class, watching tv, playing games, or whatever else. And if I do fail again, I can only ask for forgiveness for not having the compassion that Christ commanded me to show to everyone.

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Giving.

Today was a relaxing, blessed day. Both my classes this morning were cancelled due to lack of attendance. It probably had to do with the fact that the night before was halloween. However, I went to class without knowing any of this. I guess the good thing was that my professor gave extra credit to those who still showed up to class. Since I no longer had class, I had 2 hours of free time before going to Cafe Medici.

So let's rewind as to why I planned on going to Cafe Medici. I received a free 20 dollar store credit to Cafe Medici from downloading a PayPal app. Seeing that there is no way that I can consume 20 dollars worth of coffee, I offered my college fellowship members to join me for free drinks.

Anyway, I had two hours to spend. I decided to just spend some time at the gym until it was time to meet at Cafe Medici. When I arrived there, no one showed up except for two other friends who also had store credit to spend. I didn't want to waste the opportunity to use all this free credit; so I bought 3 cokes and 3 bottles of orange juice. As I left the Cafe, I decided to just hand out all those drinks to any homeless person I saw. It just so happened that there were people right outside, and I handed them out. Those people looked so surprised and happy to see me offer them a coke.

Later that evening, I was walking towards Cabo Bob's to meet my small group to eat dinner. For those of you who don't know what Cabo Bob's is, it is a burrito restaurant that recently opened up in Austin. By the way, the food is very good (much better than Chipotle). As I approached the restaurant, a homeless man approached me and asked me for money. Unfortunately, I don't carry cash with me at all and told him that I didn't have any cash. He seemed pretty disappointed and pointed how I'm about to eat at the restaurant but can't give him any money. Without thinking, I immediately asked him if he would like me to buy him a meal. He became very ecstatic and kept asking me if "I was being serious." I said "yes."

So we walk into the restaurant, and the man introduces himself as Quinton. I respond and introduce myself. As we get in line and I ask Quinton what he wants to eat. He kept telling me how thankful he was and just told me to buy the cheapest thing.

On a sidenote, Quinton didn't seem too straight in the head, if you know what I mean. From the moment I started talking to him, he continued to talk and stutter all his words. But I could see that his excitement made him stutter even more.

I tell Quinton to get anything he wants. Just when I thought he couldn't get more crazy, his eyes open up even wider; he starts talking even faster. As he's ordering in line, he keeps telling the workers to put everything in the burrito. However, the workers were hesitant and looked to me for approval. Of course, I nodded and said yes to whatever Quinton asked for. So I finally paid at the register, and Quinton kept telling all the workers how great of a guy I am for buying him a meal and how I'm a good Christian and many more things that I can't remember. All I could remember was that everyone was smiling and cracking up. Finally, I helped Quinton fill up his drink. Now remember, he's been talking non-stop ever since I met him.

He kept talking about: how he's messed up, how he doesn't deserve this, how kind I am, how he's so thankful, etc. He began to cry. I didn't know how to respond. All I said was that he does deserve to be shown kindness. Although he may have done things in the past, that doesn't deny him from receiving kindness, mercy, and second-chances. So I asked him if I could pray for him and his meal really quickly. In his broken, emotional state, he started to kneel onto the ground. I stopped him from getting down and told him to stand as we prayed. So we prayed and said our goodbyes. Quinton kept shaking my hand and hugged me multiple times...

The only thing I could think about was why he tried to kneel before me as I asked to pray for him. I'm just as messed up as he is in different ways. I'm not a perfect person. There's no reason for anyone to kneel before me. Also, I didn't know why I offered to buy him food without any hesitation. There's no way I would offer to buy anyone food, being the selfish person I am. It's Him working within me. I hope that Quinton was impacted by Christ who inspires me to live the way I do.

 

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1st Semester of Sophmore Year

It's my second year at UT, my first time living off campus, and my first time being a business student. A lot has happened within the first month and a half. I guess I'll try to explain some things.

Living off campus has been such a great experience. It feels good to be able to cook my own food; however, there are many times when I have no time to cook because of school work. My roommates are great. Our place is calm and quiet, and it's a place I can actually call home. These are just a few of the many blessings I have here.

This semester, I successfully transferred into McCombs. It's really great and awesome that I am able to be a part of such a prestigious school, but there are a lot of responsibilities you are expected to fulfill. Starting this semester, I was so ready to take business classes and succeed in working my best; however, the workload slowly started piling. 

McCombs is widely known and highly looked upon. But the school doesn't have this reputation for nothing. This school throws you into the real world as soon as declare yourself a business student. This was a bit overwhelming for me, at first. There are all these expectations you are supposed to fill: getting an internship, studying abroad, joining business organizations, etc.

So this got me thinking, "I don't think I'm ready for the real world. Actually, I don't want to grow up just yet." I wanted to still be able to play and not think or worry about these things. But of course that wasn't an option. All I could do was man up and plow through it, which is what I did. I joined a business organization, I applied for a committee position, and I entered a business case competition. All my worries started to disappear and I began to meet a lot of people and start my "networking" with others. And now, I'm in a business org. and ended up winning the PwC case competition.

But here's what I came to realize after watching this video.

I'm finding myself getting caught up in all these little things: doing homework, going to business meetings, joining business events, etc. I took a step back to see what I'm doing and where it's going. I don't wanna be like the typical business person who gets caught up doing all these things because people tell me to do it. Doing all these little things will cause you to lose sight of what you're doing and where your direction in life is going. I want to do things that will let me be able to go in the right direction in glorifying God. I don't want to live a life where I ONLY drive a nice car, eat a nice restaurants, and buy things. That accomplishes nothing. I want to become an asset for others and, more importantly, for God.

So I'm going to try and always remember what I'm doing and how it's going to help me glorify God. If it can't help me grow and develop in the right way, then I need to remember to forget it, even though it may be appealing and enjoyable.

Disclaimer: that doesn't mean I'm not going to do drop homework, business orgs, etc. I just want to be conscious of what I'm doing and how it will glorify God.

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Conclusion of Summer 2013

So a lot has happened this summer, and I can't quite remember all of it to be honest. So I'll try to make it brief and mention the highlights of my summer.

Cherokee Indian Mission Trip (Mid-June):

           This was the first of the two mission trips this summer. Up until this part of summer, I wasn't very spiritually active. Yes, I did my QTs and read the Bible on my own time; however, those things were created habits. I didn't do them with an earnest, sincere heart. But during this mission trip, God showed me the joy in serving others. The joy in sweating, working, and feeling tired so that others may see the love and joy that Christ has given us. During this half week long trip, I spent my time helping do VBS for the Cherokee Indians in Stillwell, OK. Also, we spent some time evangelizing to people in the neighborhoods by going door to door and in a nursing home.

Following the mission trip, I had two weeks until my next mission trip. I basically just spent time at home, working out, reading the Word, and playing video games. It was a pretty simple routine.

Panama Mission Trip (Late-June to July):

           This trip was so amazing. My eyes were definitely opened to many new things. I served in Playon Chico to the Kuna Indians for about a week and a half. Now that I'm typing this in September, it's hard to remember it. Honestly, this trip feels like a vivid dream. I can only live through the memories from the pictures I see.

           But I definitely lived in a third-world country. The natives' houses were huts made of dried branches/leaves and wood, but the community was so friendly and peaceful. It was amazing to see how people that have so little can be so happy and content with their lives. It got me thinking about how much I have and the things I could accomplish with all the resources I have. I came to realize that God put me in America, in a Christian family, in a prestigious university to utilize what I have to ultimately serve His kingdom. There's no time to waste. There's no point in wasting my life on things that won't allow me to grow and develop into the asset I need to be for Him.

           There's so much more to talk about, and I could type forever. However, this is the greatest message and realization that came to me through this trip.

I thought this concept was interesting. It's about making your life count with the time you have. That's really what it's about. What can I do during my time on this earth?

 

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Summer 2013.

Summer has begun. Some are going to summer school while others are going on vacation. Many others are interning at companies or working part-time jobs. I, however, am doing none of these.

I thought about taking summer school or working over the summer; then I wondered what my reasons were for these choices. The answers were quite simple:

• Summer school was to get me ahead of school even more (despite the fact that I'm already a year ahead in college).
• Working was to get me some money which would eventually lead me to buying things for myself.

Both of these decisions revolved around me. Yes, they are good things to do and very beneficial; however, I was only thinking of my own wants and needs. So I decided to revise my summer plans. I felt convicted to place God's work in front of my own. I learned that I need to start prioritizing Him before myself at an early stage of my life so that I can start on the right foot in my spiritual life. Who knows, maybe He will allow me to pursue what I want afterwards. I decided to drop everything in order to go on two mission trips.

The first trip is to Oklahoma. My church at home always goes every summer. We go to an Cherokee Indian reservation to go help with various things: help clean or repair buildings, hold a VBS (vacation bible school) for the kids, or evangelize around the town.

The second trip is to Panama, more specifically, San Blas islands. This is a new thing for our church. We're heading over to the Kuna Indian tribe on these islands to share the gospel. It's pretty straightforward. But going more into depth on this trip, I had no idea of the details when I agreed to attend. 

At the time, I felt convicted to get out of America. I've grown up in a society where we have everything. I've been blessed with everything that I want and need. As a result, I've taken that for granted. I know I should be thankful for what I have, but I haven't experienced what it's like not to have it. It's one thing to KNOW something, but it's another to EXPERIENCE it.

So through this Panama mission trip, I hope to get a better understanding of God and the world. I'm sure He will work through me and show me what kind of life I need to live after I return home. I hope that I will have an experience that will change my perspective of how to live life and how to approach it: with a grateful and hardworking heart.

PS: I later found out the location was the San Blas Islands after agreeing to go. The place is beautiful; Google it.

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End of Freshman Year.

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been busy with finals for school. My first year of college is already over. I can't believe it. So many things have happened, and yet, I can't remember much of it. This led to me thinking about how thankful I am about all that has happened.

I'm thankful for:

• Being able to afford and attend a university.
• Having a smooth transition into college life.
• Finding a good church that I can now call a family.
• The knowledge and ability to obtain good grades this year.
• and much more...

But I want to go back to the idea that time has gone by so quickly. Time. It's something we're all bound by. It's something we never get back. Every second that passes by will never be given back. So it got me thinking, time is so precious. We think we have plenty of it, but it's so short compared to eternity. Why waste the little time you have on insignificant things? Make every second count. More specifically, make every second count to glorifying God. With the little time I have on earth, I want to do everything for Him. I want to be able to meet him and hear Him say, "well done". I want to have been a useful instrument and tool for His kingdom. In order to do that, I need to do everything to the best of my ability for Him.

On a side note: God isn't bound by the realm of time since He's eternal. I thought about when Jesus says that He's returning soon. But if He's not bound by time, His definition of soon may be reallyyyyyy long to us but super short to Him. Random thought.

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Homeless People

A few days ago, on Friday, I saw another homeless man next to the Chipotle I always visit. Yes, it was the same location as my previous post. However, this was a younger looking man that I've never seen. Still left with some "buy one get one free" burrito coupons (my last one), I asked the guy if I could get him some food; he looked so surprised and happy at my offer, and of course, accepted.

So I go in and order some food and come back out handing it to him. I tried to get to know him a bit. The only things I specifically remember is that:

• His name is EJ.
• He's been unemployed for 5 years. Before that, he was living with his dad and had a job until his father passed away. (I'm assuming he went through some dark times after that and lost his job through all the things happening).
• He came down to Austin to live his mom and get back up on his feet and start looking for a job.

EJ was so excited to talk to me and was telling me all this. I only asked a few questions, and he willingly shared the rest about himself on his own. Showing me all his job applications and talking about how he tries to keep well groomed to get a job, EJ was so motivated and passionate. He continued to talk about how he's never done drugs and how he's really trying to get on his feet and start again. It felt as if he was trying to let me know that he's not a bad person and that he's different from the sterotypical homeless alcoholic/druggie. But who am I to judge him? I'm just as bad as him. I make mistakes. I make bad decisions at times. I was humbled at that moment.

So as usual, I asked if I could pray for him. He just asked that I pray for him to get back on his feet and find a job; so I prayed for him. Whether he believes in God or not, I just wanted to show some of the love and kindness that was shown to me through Jesus.

After the prayer, I left, and he continued to thank me as I walked in the other direction. This really opened my eyes how everyone has their own story. A few people may have made bad choices to fall into a rut and become homeless and don't regret it. However, I'm sure many didn't choose to be homeless or want to be.

And just a few days later, this video went viral on youtube. It really confirmed on what I thought homeless people felt when they were neglected. They're imperfect people just like you and me. I'm not saying to go out and start giving out all your money to these people. But just be thankful for what you have and try show some compassion towards everyone.
 

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A Selfish Society

Yesterday, a shocking event happened to me. It was, at first, a normal school day with all the same routines and schedule. However, I decided to go grab some dinner off campus (Chipotle). I noticed a homeless man sitting next to the restaurant and asked him if I could get him some food, since I had a buy one get one free burrito coupon. Instead, he just asked for a coca cola so I agreed to buy him one from the CVS next door.

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Eternality

If you think about it, nothing in this world is actually eternal for us. I want to specifically focus on happiness. Everyone wants to be happy, and there is nothing wrong with that. But think about it, nothing on earth can make you eternally happy.

Why do people always buy new toys, gadgets, cars, shoes, clothes, etc.? Why do people like getting high or drunk all the time? Why do people always want more of something?

It's because we want to be satisfied and happy. But because these things can't bring us happiness forever, we always have to do it again or find something greater to give us happiness/pleasure. Throughout our lives, people always are searching for happiness. Some resort to materialism (constantly buying new things) while others get hooked on drugs/alcohol/sex. But think about it, why do you have to do it over and over again? It has to be done repetitively because the pleasure/excitement always wears off.

Well then what about love? Isn't love eternal when you find someone and marry them?

If this is the question, then what is love? Is it just a feeling of emotions? Because if that's what love is, it isn't eternal. Feelings and emotions always wear off after a period of time. Most people base their love on this idea. Why do you think the divorce rate of marriages is so high?

In other cases where marriages are successful, the definition of love is far beyond just emotions. It's a love that is unconditional. It's about commitment, forgiveness, grace, and mercy. As a Christian, this love is what is from God and is expressed in marriages.

Think about it, what else could possibly give you eternal happiness? What are you looking for to fill the emptiness in your life? I'm not trying to force you to let me preach. But think about it honestly and truly.

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Opportunities in Life

This morning, I read a person's status update (on facebook) that asked whether he/she should go to class because it was raining and cold outside. Of course, many other friends and students commented "not to go and skip class". However, I tried to encourage him/her to go. Why? Because I believe we shouldn't waste the opportunities one is given in life.

Please read on if you're interested or agree (However, this post may be long).

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Introduction.

Hi. My name is Justin Ha, and I'm currently a freshman in college. For those of you who end up reading this, I am making this blog for my own purposes: to keep myself spiritually accountable and read back on my past from time to time. If you do end up following my life journey, I hope that I will be of some encouragement as I try to live my life as a Christian. 

Many people seem to think that all or many Christians are all:

• hypocrites
• anti-homosexual
• weird/creepy
• crazy

...and probably many more things. However, I'd like to prove those stereotypes wrong by living my life in a different way. Instead of trying to impress my faith and beliefs on others forcibly, I want to try to live my life through example and share my faith in that sense. So this is just the beginning of my new resolution that will, hopefully, last for the rest of my life.

I will try to consistently post on a weekly basis about my thoughts or experiences.

Disclaimer: I am not doing this for the purpose of gaining fame or popularity, but rather to glorify Him and live with humility.

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