Repenting.

The past week hasn't been so spiritually great. I felt myself becoming more and more distant from others and, especially, God. I tried praying, and I didn't know how to start or what to say. That's how empty I felt. But I asked for guidance in prayer and slowly began to repent.

It's always been a struggle for me to understand repentance. How much of a balance of repenting is "guilt" or "feeling remorse", and how much of it is "feeling restored/renewed"? I'm not a pastor or anything, so I could be wrong. But this is what I learned from scripture today.

When you know you've committed sin, you can't help but feel guilt/remorse/sorrow. For me, those feelings hit me really hard. I try to come back to pray and repent, but the feelings of guild/sorrow still remain. To me, it makes no logical sense to repent and feel instantly restored. I always feel like there should be a consequence for my wrongdoings. But then I read this passage in 2 Kings.

"Elisha sent a messenger to say to him, "Go wash yourself seven times in the Jordan, and your flesh will be restored and you will be cleansed." But Naaman went away angry..." - 2 Kings 5:10-11

"So he went down and dipped himself in the Jordan seven times, as the man of God had told him, and his flesh was restored and became clean like that of a young boy." - 2 Kings 5:14

Just a brief background of this passage. There was a guy named Naaman with leprosy, and he went to find the prophet Elisha to be healed. If you look at the first passage, it says that Naaman was angry. Why was he angry? He was angry because he expected Elisha to perform a complicated/spiritual/mind-blowing miracle to heal him. But instead, Elisha told him to go take a shower in the Jordan river. It seemed so simple. Too simple.

And of course, Naaman goes and takes his little shower. Boom. He's healed. It was such a simple thing, and Naaman thought it was supposed to be so complicated.

This is exactly how I feel when I try to repent, sometimes. I come before God, expecting to be scolded or punished for my wrongdoing. I feel remorse and guilt. I feel as if I must earn the forgiveness. But then I was reminded of the simplicity of forgiveness because of Christ's death on the cross. There's no punishment. It's been finished. Just like Naaman had to take a simple shower to be healed, I need only to simply repent.

And of course, the whole topic of taking advantage of His grace is a different story for another time.

{ Continue Reading... }

Self-Reminders.

I tend to be forgetful. Not so much on promises or plans that I make with other people, but I tend to forget the Truth about myself and God. Listening to PC's sermon served as a great reminder of who I am and who He is.

We all get caught up in the busy-ness of life. The world doesn't revolve around you or me. I know we hear it a lot, but it's a true fact that I tend to forget. In my case, I'm busy with school. I only think about my class schedule, when to eat, when to study, and when to meet up with people. It's a simple, mundane thing. But sometimes I forget why or what I'm doing.

Judah Smith mentions in his sermon that the world and the gospel define life as opposite things...

The world says that "practice dictates your position". You can only become worth something if you practice hard enough. You'll be loved, significant, made worth when you practice hard enough to attain that status. You'll become a CEO, superstar, most interesting person if you practice hard enough. Practice practice practice and then you can have it.

The gospel says the opposite. "Your position in Christ dictates your practice". In Christ, we have been seated at the right hand of God. We have already been given the highest position that can ever be achieved. And we did nothing to earn it. We were given this position out of grace.

That's the gospel. It's the truth. Christianity is a story of love. The gospel shows that you don't need to work for your position. It's been given to you. All you need to do is accept and believe in Christ. Embrace God's grace. But by all means, it doesn't mean life gets easier. Everyone suffers through life because the world is a broken place. We're all broken people. But in Christ, we can suffer with a purpose. In Christ, we have hope for eternal joy, peace, and happiness.

Don't follow what the world tells you to do. Don't listen to what society defines you as. You are not defined by your job, social status, financial status, race, or passions. You are a follower of Christ. You are a child of God. So I encourage you to live your life in Christ (in the highest position).

{ Continue Reading... }

Thank you all...

for your prayers and support. As pathetic as it may sound, last week was one of the most difficult weeks of my life. It could have arguably been the most difficult week of my life. And for that, I am very thankful that I somehow survived it.

This school year, I've seen so many people going through hardships. It's as if this is the year that my friends and I have been hit with a wave of confusion/chaos/conflicts. But there's been so much beauty in the midst of the craziness. There's been more compassion, kindness, prayer, accountability, and love among us.

I can testify that my college fellowship has supported me more than I could have imagined. Life can slap you in the face. Really hard. And most of the time, there's no way you can get back up on your own will. I experienced this first hand. And I must thank my brothers and sisters in Christ for their prayers.

There's no other place where I can rely on others for genuine support/prayer. I can testify that ACTS is a loving body in Christ. I can see it as I edit these pictures that I took from our social events. I can see it in the way we share our lives with each other. I can see genuine love being shared. And you can be a part of it too. We accept anyone and everyone.

Ultimately, I have to thank God for helping me through the week.

I don't deserve God's grace or mercy. Even throughout the week, I willingly disobeyed Him. I tried to find rest in other things besides Him. But He still provided and blessed me. I don't understand. And that's the beauty of it. God's grace is something that can't be understood. It makes no sense that anyone would still be faithful to someone who isn't faithful in return. It's ridiculous. It's scandalous. It's beyond rational. But it's there, and it won't be leaving anytime soon. It's amazing.

So if anyone needs some prayer, feel free to reach out. There's no such thing as a "stupid" prayer. We're all broken. We can't do anything on our own. Let the guy who's in charge of everything help you out. And even if you don't know whether or not God is real, give it a shot. You never know how your life can change.

{ Continue Reading... }

I Am Weak.

Before I start, I want to apologize to everyone who I promised to meet up with. Since I haven't been able to meet up and share about my past weeks, this will be my way to communicate that to you. For the time being, at least.

For the past week or so, I've been very busy. I wish I could say that I'm exaggerating, but I'm not. For example, today was a long day. I woke up at 8:30AM, had class until 7PM, had a quick dinner, and studied until now. Honestly, I don't know how I got through today.

My days have been consistently like this. If you think I'm here to vent/complain about how my schedule is crazier/more intense than yours, then you're mistaken. I'm here to say the opposite. I'm weak.

I'm weak. I'll admit it. There is no way that I can handle my current schedule by my own will/efforts. And I'm thankful that my schedule has pushed me to the limit. Why? Because God has proven to me that I can only do so many things on my own will. Let me explain.

This past summer, I remember specifically that I prayed for my pride to be removed from my life. I asked God to humble me no matter what it took. And guess what? I think that prayer has been answered.

There is no way that I could have survived today on my own. There is no way that I could have been so peaceful and calm at certain times. And there is no way that I would put myself through these conditions for the sake of making a huge salary in the future.

So everyday that I am able to get through, I cannot take any credit. I know I'm weak. There's no way I can do this on my own. It's not me. It's Him. He's constant. He's good. He's faithful. He is Better.

But the fight's not over yet. Next week will be even more challenging, and I hope and pray that I'll be able to stay thankful in all circumstances and remain in prayer.

{ Continue Reading... }

A Slap in the Face

This semester, I've been spread thin with my time commitments. I didn't know what to prioritize in. I didn't know how to plan out my schedule in terms of studying, meeting with people, coordinating IM volleyball, etc. And the number 1 thing you DON'T want to do is think about everything all at once. I made that mistake.
So of course, I began to think too much about things. I began to feel stressed. You know how the process works. Anyway, there was one more mistake that I made. I wasn't in prayer about the decisions I was making. I was saying "Yes" to everything because I wanted to accomplish everything. I was trying to bite off more than I could chew.

I was reminded of this as I was listening to a sermon at Austin Stone on Campus. By the way, it was a great time. You should go next year.

"Elijah went before the people and said, 'How long will you waver between two opinions? If the Lord is God, follow him; but if Baal is God, follow him.'” - 1 Kings 18:21

We tend to always have a back up plan. That's what we're taught. Always plan for the worst and have a plan B. But I don't think that should apply in our spiritual walk.

We sometimes straddle a fence between God and our own desires. And I was guilty of this fact. There are many accomplishments that I want to fulfill... I want to get better at volleyball, I want to get more camera lenses, I want to travel the world, I want, I want, I want.

And this is a natural tendency for all human beings. We all have wants and desires. Many of us don't want to let go of them. We want to hang onto these things because we think that achieving it will bring us complete satisfaction. Reaching that goal, receiving that object, or accomplishing that task will make us 100% satisfied. False.

We always want something more after we finish a task. And we keep searching and searching and searching. Let me tell you that you won't find what you're looking for down here on earth.

"... If the Lord is God, follow him; but if Baal is God, follow him.”

If you have experienced God, if you know He is real, if you have a slight feeling that He may be real, then go all in for Him. If you're not sure about Him, ask for Him to help you experience Him.

"But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul." - Deuteronomy 4:29

So there was my "Slap in the Face". I'm glad I came to realize this in my own life. Don't get so caught up with the stuff in front of you. The world doesn't revolve around you. There are bigger things at hand. God's work. The kingdom's work. Get involved in it. Go 100% for His kingdom, not your own.

"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." - Colossians 3:1-2

{ Continue Reading... }

You're Not Alone.

No I'm not talking about that Saosin song. Although I did like them a lot in middle/high school. But I want to let everyone that's reading this know that you're not alone on this journey of life. After talking with a lot of individuals today, I came to realize how much we are going through in our own lives.

A lot of us are in college. We have a lot of studying to do. We have commitments in organizations. We have our college fellowship events: small groups, social gatherings, large groups, etc. I have a lot of stuff to do. You have a lot of stuff to do. And lets be honest. It can be overwhelming and stressful.

In my situation, I've committed my time to a lot of different things. And honestly, I'm not sure if I spread myself too thin or not. Many of you are probably thinking the same thing. But let me share something that has helped me.

Don't try and do it alone. Share you burden with others. Now that doesn't mean you get a all-pass to vent out about your problems. But it's okay to ask for prayer from others. I could sure use some prayer myself. And I'll be happy to pray for anyone who asks for some prayer.

We're all broken people. No one's perfect. We're meant to live our lives through relationships with others. Why do you think the Bible talks about the church, the community, the body of Christ, and being one body and one spirit of believers?

Please if you are ever feeling like you're about to blow up, break, shatter, or whatever else... ask for prayer. I doubt anyone will say no to your prayer request. And also, don't forget that He is bigger than whatever you're facing. I know it's repeated a lot, but it's true. Keep telling yourself that until you believe it. It's not easy, but I know that it will work.

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." - 1 Peter 5:7

{ Continue Reading... }

How to Not Be Stressed Out.

For the past few days, I've been a bit anxious about school. I just entered the iMPA program. It stands for the "integrated Masters in Professional Accounting" program. And it's the #1 accounting program in the nation. I'm now a part of that. I have to live up to that reputation. No pressure.

I applied to this program on somewhat of a whim. I didn't know which direction to take in my business career, so I tried applying to the program. There's no way applying would hurt me. My thoughts were, "God, I'm going to apply. If I get in, then I'll give thanks. If I don't give in, then please help me to still give thanks." Fortunately, I got in.

But I still don't know what I'm doing. Trust me. I feel like a chicken with its head cut off. I kind of have a passion for some parts of business. But at the same time, I enjoy the most random things. For example, I enjoy jazz, skiing, photography, etc. I have yet to find someone who enjoys the same exact things that I do.
 
Before I headed to my orientation, I didn't have any assurance of anything. So I prayed. It was one of the shortest prayers. "Help me trust you."


Consulting always caught my interest. To simply explain it, consulting is where a client asks for your help and you solve it. It can be any kind of problem: restaurants, banks, car dealerships, software companies, etc. Basically, you need to know a bit of everything because you're dealing with a bit of everything. You need to be a Ditto (I can't believe I just made a Pokemon reference... Don't judge me).

Consultants need to know a lot of stuff, and they need to be unique problem solvers. In other words, you can't be a normal person. You need to think differently and present solutions that no one else can think of.

Anyway, long story short, I felt a passion and interest in this field during my orientation. It was a strange feeling. But I felt some sort of assurance. I can't seem to find anyone that does anything like me. I want to show and advise others that you can do business in a righteous, Godly way and still become successful for Christ.

And for those of you who feel stressed and lost. Don't worry. I'm still just as lost as before. The only thing different is that I know that my God is bigger than my problem. The problem is still there, but I'm not stressed anymore. I'm joyful.

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." - 1 Peter 5:7

{ Continue Reading... }