Because I'm Happy?

Do ever get those moments when you feel happy after hearing some news? 

Like, nothing about your day has changed. Your schedule hasn't changed. But you feel happy/excited about something that will happen in the near future. Why? Don't you find that kind of weird? How does it make sense that you feel better when nothing about the present moment has changed? The only thing that has changed is what you've become aware of.

For example, it's a normal work/school day. You wake up, go to class/work, come home, have some free time, and go to sleep. But by making plans for the weekend, you all of a sudden become happy and excited. You treat people more nicely. You feel more talkative and positive about your day.

I don't know about you, but I experience this a lot. Just recently, I got some news back about a potential opportunity in the summer (I'll share it later when I get the final word). My day instantly became better. Work was enjoyable - even though my tasks didn't change at all. I felt good throughout the day. But my schedule was the exact same as the day before. How does that even happen?

I think you get my point. And I think it's safe to say that when we learn or become aware of good news, we become uplifted/motivated/determined/happy/etc. Our present moment becomes better because we have come to realization that there is something to look forward to. Then let me ask you this - and I'm asking myself the same question. Shouldn't this be like the gospel?

"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." - Colossians 3:2

If we know that there will be some awesome things to come, then shouldn't we feel happy about our present circumstance? Even though the situation hasn't changed, shouldn't we feel this uplifting spirit when we hear/acknowledge/realize the good news? Our present moment doesn't seem so difficult when you think about the near future. We begin to treat our circumstances and the people around us with a positive outlook. And some may ask, "Why are you so different today? Nothing at school/work has changed. What's gotten into you?" Then you have an opportunity to explain the truth that has been revealed to you.

Disclaimer: I'm still challenging myself as I write this post. Don't think I have it all together because I don't. But I hope this'll change your outlook on things!

Brian || Taylor || Hnou || Xing || Judy || Esther || Josh || Jenine

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I'm Makin' Paper

For those of you who didn't know, I'm working at an accounting firm as an intern. I'll be done at the end of this month - then I'll be back to school for one more year. And let me tell you, work is exactly what older people say it is. For example, I never understood why anyone would be too tired to do anything after work. You sit at a desk for 8 hours, then you go home. You have so much free time to do anything because you don't have any tests/hw to do after 5PM. False.

You sit at a desk for 8 hours and your body melts as your brain melts with it. Then you get some coffee or food to revitalize you to keep working. On the way home, you sit in traffic which makes you more exhausted. By the time you get home, you need to take a mental break by laying on the couch. After that, you need to cook/eat dinner. Then you can do what you want - unless you get another food coma from dinner.

But I'm getting off topic. I've been thinking about the role of money in my life and how it should play in my life. And basically it came down to this: there's nothing inherently wrong with money. HOWEVER, it can tempt you in so many ways that will lead you down the wrong path.

"I don't mean it's sinful to make a lot of money. I think it's sinful to want to KEEP a lot of money." - John Piper

I've been blessed with a well-paying internship. But as John Piper says in the video below, it can almost be a curse. It's not a curse in the sense of money being evil. But it can be curse in how money can tempt you in so many wrong ways. I mean, the Bible says...

And Jesus said to His disciples, "Truly I say to you, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." - Matthew 19:23-24

So I've been trying to remind myself that money is temporary. To be wise with it, but not to hoard it selfishly to the point where it controls my life/behavior. I try to think about how Christ lived humbly and simply. And I want to do the same. I hope we all can be careful and wise about how we guard ourselves from the temptations of excess comfort and security in wealth.

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Book List as of Feb 2016

Books that I've finished with a short thought on each book:

Crazy Love - Francis Chan
Francis Chan is one of the most sincere, passionate pastors I've ever seen. His book is consistent with how he lives his life. His perspective of God expands and renews your mind in so many ways. Definite recommendation for any believer out there.

Jesus Is - Judah Smith
Judah Smith is one of my favorite pastors out there right now. He speaks very charismatically, but he also can explain the bible in a way that is clear and modern. In my opinion, he doesn't compromise the truth of the gospel to communicate with today's society. Instead, he makes it relatable to where we can comprehend and grasp the love of Christ.

Life Is - Judah Smith
Same note as above.

Jesus > Religion - Jefferson Bethke
If you've never heard of Jefferson Bethke, he's on youtube. He gave a spoken word that stirred up so much controversy on youtube - and he wrote a book about it. I enjoyed reading his book because it provided a modern context of how Christ would have lived in our society today. It's something that was enlightening to me at my point in life, which was around my freshman year of college.

Radical - David Platt
This is something that will convict any believer. It made me rethink about the church in the modern world and how it behaves and interacts with society.

The Blind Side - Michael Lewis
Interesting way to tell a true, inspiring story while integrating the history of American football into it. If you're not really into reading about sports, then I'd stick to watching the movie.

The Artisan Soul - Erwin Raphael McManus
Really cool perspective on how God designed us all to be an extension of Him as artists. Some points were pretty unique. I wouldn't necessarily say that every point is biblical. It's a unique testimony to how God has worked in this man's life. Shoutout to Joseph Hur for the recommendation.

The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho
I loved this book. It spoke to me in a lot of ways - especially at this point in my life. Although it's not a book centered on Christ, I could point out references of how true Christ could be in the story. Highly recommend this to anyone who hasn't read it yet. Shoutout to Jason Lee for the recommendation.

The Magician's Nephew - C.S. Lewis
The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe - C.S. Lewis
The Horse and His Boy - C.S. Lewis
I'll put all three of these in one group. Although this is more of a "children's book", reading it at an older age is still refreshing. You begin to see all the references of Christ and parts of bible that C.S. Lewis makes in his fantasy stories. Thanks to my cousin Donald Choi for buying the entire series for me. Sorry, that I'm just now reading them 5 years later.

Liar's Poker - Michael Lewis
This was a bit harder to read. If you're not a business person, or aren't interested in reading about investment banking, then I'd skip this one. But Lewis talks about his personal experience in Wall Street. Two points: (1) Greed is a real issue in this world. (2) You will be influenced by the people you hang around with whether you like it or not.

Books on my to-do reading list (in no particular order):

The rest of the Chronicles of Narnia series
Overrated - Eugene Cho
Where the Red Fern Grows - Wilson Rawls
Freakonomics - Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner
Save the Cat - Blake Snyder

If you have any recommendations or questions about the books I've read, I'd be happy to listen or talk!

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God > Your Heart

"If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from him anything we ask, because we keep his commands and do what pleases him." - 1 John 3:20-22

We all sin and we'll continue to make mistakes. We're not perfect. But we strive to love like Christ because Christ loved us first. And as Judah Smith once said, "Let's not get caught up in being forgiven. Let's focus on knowing the forgiver." But how do you deal with yourself when you sin?

For me, I can't help but feel guilt and a need to repent a million times over. I can't help but feel sorry and tired of disappointing God. And the conviction to repent is overwhelming, even after I pray for forgiveness. But as I read this passage, I couldn't help but be in awe of God's goodness.

It's my heart that convicts me to repent. But sometimes, it's to the point of lingering guilt. And of course, that's not of God. That lingering guilt prevents us from getting back up to fight on. But here's where the good news comes in. It says that "God is greater than our hearts". God has greater authority than our own hearts.

"For God did NOT send his Son into the world to CONDEMN the world, BUT to SAVE the world through him." - John 3:17

If God does not condemn us, then we should not allow our hearts to condemn ourselves. Of course, that is not to say that we should ignore our convictions to repent. Instead, we should know that the lingering guilt is not of God. 

God knows everything about us. Our past, present, and future mistakes/failures. And when he said "It is finished", it was finished at that moment. Period.

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Random thoughts

I'm about to turn 22 in a two months...

That's ridiculous. I feel like I'm running out of time. A lot of people have told me that I have so much time to do things, but I've always felt like I need to spend my time the most effective/efficient way possible. Maybe it's a business mindset that I got from school. But I think that I should spend every moment being the best I can be for Christ. Of course, that doesn't mean I don't play or waste time. But I try to acknowledge and keep true to this idea.

What happens to your "dream" as you get older?

I had an opportunity to visit a house church last Friday. I was a newcomer in a small group of young adults (all in their late 20s). They welcomed me by allowing me to ask a question to everyone in the room. Everyone had to answer - including myself. So I asked "What was/is your dream?"

While some answers were comical, others were quite sincere. Some gave up on their dream while others are still pursing it. For example, one individual wants to write a novel. Another wants to open a bakery and create a documentary. I thought to myself, "why aren't you pursuing that now?" Of course, the obvious answer is "life". Life gets in the way of things. Life makes you deal with bills, student loans, car loans, shelter, housing, clothes, etc. And that is, no doubt, a legitimate point.

But this is the very question I've been wondering about for a year. I fully understand that we must be wise and be responsible to make a living. But to what extent is that an "excuse" to not pursue your dream/passion? See - I personally believe at this moment in my life that our deep passion is God given. That thing that makes you want to do it forever? That's our God-given purpose. But I don't think that means to drop everything just to pursue it. We need to be smart and wise about how we go about using our God given gifts. It's through prayer/scripture. It's in His time and His will that we do these things.

I remember hearing a speaker at a retreat in high school. He asked, "If money didn't exist and God provided everything, then what would you do?" If the world didn't operate on money, then what would you do with your life? It blew my mind. I began to freak out in my 17 year old brain. What?! No money?! What's going to happen then?! Do I just implode?! (okay not the last question). But you get my point. What would that thing be?

Another thought came into my head as I thought about my purpose for these past few years. Don't fool yourself when searching for your God-given purpose. Deep down, you need to evaluate why you are "passionate" about this one thing(s). It can't be for money, fame, glory, power, etc. It MUST be for God. Period. It must be to glorify Him and only Him. Don't psych yourself out by telling yourself "it's for God" when it really isn't.

You have to be brutally honest with yourself and God. Either this "passion" is something God instilled in your heart or something Satan is deceiving you into thinking. I can't judge or accuse you if you have the right heart/mindset. It's only between you and God. Because in the end, it'll be between you and God.

Again, these are my personal thoughts and ideas on how God works in our lives. I don't have biblical support or any credibility. So don't live on my words, live on His words.

Brian || Taylor || Hnou || Xing || Judy || Esther || Josh || Jenine

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The Dungeon

I wrote this short story because I was inspired by my JP fellows to think about a childhood memory.

Brian || Taylor || Hnou || Xing || Judy || Esther || Josh || Jenine

The Dungeon
There once was a family who owned a beauty supply store. There was dad, mom, boy, and Jango - who was the father's assistant. Everyday the four tended to visitors from around the land. Father would monitored the well-being of the store while mother would run the cash register. The real responsibility was with the boy and Jango.

While father and mother stayed comfortably behind the walls of the front desk, the boy and Jango would venture off into the aisles and the back of the store. Many customers came and left with many supplies. So the boy and Jango had to make sure every aisle was filled. They carefully watched each aisle and resupplied the moment an item disappeared (just like how a farmer tends to his rows of crops every day).

As the days went on, the boy began to feel discouraged. He questioned his own ability to be excellent at his duty. So he asked Jango, "Will I ever become brave and strong? I can't lift those boxes, and I'm scared of those mannequin heads in the storage room. Maybe I'll never be quite good enough."

Jango chuckled and smiled. He replied, "It may seem like you'll never reach that goal. But it requires patience and time. Until then, let me help you practice your bravery and strength." The boy felt glad and agreed to the proposal.

From then on, the boy trained. While Jango carried the larger boxes, the boy followed him with smaller ones. When the boxes were emptied onto the shelves, the boy broke them with kicks and punches he learned from his martial arts class. Jango, of course, was there holding each box. Like a trainer, he was saying good job's and well done's. Occasionally, the boy dropped boxes and missed kicks/punches. However, Jango's encouragement kept the boy determined to grow and improve.

After many months, the boy gained confidence and became stronger and more brave. He said to Jango, "I feel much braver and stronger now. It was all thanks to your help!" Jango seemed quite pleased and happy that he could help the boy. He told him, "You're brave!" But a new task was added to their duty that same day.

Father had left his desk to come out to the aisles. He approached Jango and whispered something into his ear and departed. The boy could not hear what had been said, so he asked Jango, "What did father say?" Jango replied, "There is another task we have to do. It will require a lot of bravery. Do you think you can do it?" The boy, without hesitation, nodded with confidence.

The boy and Jango traveled to a distant part of the store. It was always abandoned and left empty. Jango approached a large wooden board, lifted it, and pushed it aside. As the board moved away from the wall, the boy saw what was behind the board. Complete darkness - black. It was as if the darkness could swallow you up, like a black hole. To the boy, it felt like a dungeon.

This dungeon was the entrance to a shaft that led down to an abandoned storage room. But the bottom was not visible without a flashlight. Jango and the boy stood there for a moment. All they heard was a deep echo coming from the, seemingly, bottomless shaft. You could even hear the howling of the wind coming from below. Jango began to board the lift, but the boy stopped him.

"I can't go down there," said the boy. "I'm not brave enough for this duty." Jango turned to face the boy and said to him, "Okay then. We'll train like we did these past few months!" The boy was a doubtful, but agreed.

The two began training as before for a few weeks, but something unexpected occurred. On a random day, Jango approached the boy with a troubled look. He said, "I won't be able to work here anymore. I'm moving away." The boy replied, "How am I going to become brave enough to fulfill my duty?"

Jango kelt down and told the the boy, "You don't need my help to achieve your bravery. I've only been encouraging you, but you've done all the work yourself. You only need to encourage yourself, and then you will achieve it." Just like that, Jango left. And the boy was by himself.

A month went by, and the boy trained alone during that time. Finally, he felt ready to fulfill his duty. He slowly approached the entrance to the dungeon. With each step, he felt his heart race faster and faster. When he stood at the foot of the darkness, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm himself. He proceeded to tell himself, "You're brave." With that, he took a step into the darkness.

If you've reached the end, thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed this random story.

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2016: Questions and Expectations

If you read my last post, you'll know that I receive a random verse for each year. So I wanted to share the verse, a personal interpretation, and a speculation for the year. Also, I wonder how this post will be different from what actually happens at the end of the year.

"The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing." - Psalm 34:10

This verse made no sense to me when I first read it. And it made no sense after I read it for the 20th time. It was so vague, out of context, random, etc. But something magically clicked for me a few days later.

For those of you who follow me on snapchat (misterjustinha - shameless plug), you know that I've been reading a lot over the break. I recently started the Chronicles of Narnia series. My cousin bought the entire set for me when I was in middle school, and I've finally decided to read it -- whoops!

In the first book, Aslan is introduced. He's a lion, and characterized as "God" who is the ruler over Narnia -- a land filled with living animals who are personified as human beings. It got me thinking about the characteristics of the lion. In most cultures, Lions are known as the "King of Beasts/Jungle". It's the best of all the land. No animal is greater than it.

So I went back to the verse. Even the "greatest" in the animal kingdom can become weak. It's life still depends on the existence of an ecosystem. If the ecosystem fails, even the greatest animal becomes weak and helpless. It's the same for us! No matter who we look to, everyone is at the mercy of life. Life is unpredictable. Sicknesses can happen. Economies can fail. Natural disasters can occur. And there's nothing we can do to completely control these things -- not the strongest person, smartest person, or richest person.

But there's one being who can completely control these things. And if you seek Him first, then you'll be sustained with al that is necessary. It may not be what you WANT. But it will, for sure, be what you need.

I learned that trusting in Him clears up all confusion. This year, it seems like He wants to teach me to depend on Him to sustain everything in life. Everything seems to be laid out for me: an internship for the spring, a potential program in LA (if not, summer school), and a final year at UT. Now I have to chase after Him, and leave the rest of this up to Him. I wonder what will happen.

Brian || Taylor || Hnou || Xing || Judy || Esther || Josh || Jenine

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