Camp Buckner.

These past three days have been a crazy journey, but it felt like a week long. I volunteered at a youth retreat in Austin. More specifically, I was invited to play keyboard in a praise band called "Awakening". I didn't have any other obligations except for worshiping at the evening sessions. It was a great experience to lead worship and relax.

But I'll be honest, I learned just as much, if not more, at this retreat. Even though I wasn't a youth kid (I got mistaken as one many times), I was challenged to re-evaluate myself and realign my relationship with Christ. 

Leading worship is one of the most difficult things to do. Yes, you have to be talented at playing instruments and whatnot. But that wasn't the difficult thing. Leading worship is a spiritual battle within yourself. There are so many things that can distract you from worshiping God.

Thoughts creep into my head: Does the audience seem into it? Am I playing the right chords? Does this sound cool? Am I singing in tune?

While you're thinking all these things, you forget about the words that are coming out of your mouth. Sure, you're singing the words. But that's it. In my case, I focused on "leading" worship. I didn't focus on worshiping God myself. Ironically, you fail at leading worship by focusing on leading worship. You lead worship by worshiping.

The first night, our entire "Awakening" team came to realize this. We failed at worshiping because we were so concerned about leading. Honestly, God doesn't need us to have people worship Him. He chose to use us.

"God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.” - John 4:24

So I came to understand how important and challenging it is to lead worship. The spiritual battle within yourself is not a joke. It's Satan's best chance to ruin God's people from giving Him the glory He deserves.
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There's one more thing I learned. It's a simple truth, but it became dull to me. Sometimes you need a reminder (for me, it's all the time). Religion tells you to DO. Christ tells you it's already DONE. We've been given everything. All you have to do is believe in Christ.

Like Judah Smith mentioned, "Your position in Christ dictates how you walk your life. But your walk in life will NEVER dictate/change your position in Christ."

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ISIS.

If you haven't already heard, there are some terrible things going on in the Middle East. Basically, all hell has broken lose. Literally. I can't imagine what trauma people are facing. There are bombings, airstrikes, gun shots, rubble, and blood everywhere. It's quite the opposite of what we see in America.

And this is nothing new. There has been conflict going on in that part of the world for quite some time. But there's a whole new dimension of terror. ISIS. If you aren't familiar with this group, then you should just google it.

But let me give you a quick example of what they've done recently. They've brought Christian persecution to a whole new level. Christian families in Mosul, Iraq are being held at gun point to denounce Christ. Basically these families are given two choices: denounce Christ or die.

If they do not denounce Christ, husbands get to see their wives raped in front of them. Parents get to see their children beheaded. And I am not exaggerating any of this. If you aren't convinced, check this article out. But I must warn you, these images are very, very graphic.

Terrible actions of ISIS.

I cannot say that I would not denounce Christ in this situation. The thought is unbearable, and I cringe at the thought of my brothers and sisters in Christ who are literally dying for Christ.

I pray that our Father will hear the cries of His people and respond. I pray that He would give them perseverance, grace, peace, and comfort.

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Summer School.

So I finally finished summer school, and it taught me a lot about myself. Honestly, I learned nothing more about our government. But I did somehow grow in a spiritual sense.

As I was taking this online government course, I complained. A lot. I can get pretty arrogant and prideful. The entire time, I complained about how I'm overqualified to be taking this course, how useless this course will be in my life, and how much "busy work" I have.

Some of the things I thought may have been true. And sure, I may have been too good for this basic course. But I came to realize one main point. If you can't do the little things, then you don't deserve to handle the bigger things.

I came across two passages that convicted me to re-evaluate how I was approaching this summer course.

"Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." - 1 Corinthians 10:31

These verses are simple. There is no way you can misinterpret these verses. It's clear, simple, and to the point. And I was stubborn and ignored it during my summer session. I wasn't joyful about taking my course. I didn't glorify God by complaining about how this course is boring, tedious, and a waste of time.

If I can't do the little things right, then why would God even bother giving me a bigger, greater task? Sometimes we tell ourselves that we'll be serious when a serious task is at hand. But do you really know that for sure?

I'm guilty of thinking in this way. I place my pride in myself, thinking that I can accomplish great things if the challenges come. And of course, that's something I need to pray about and fix. I want to boast and remind myself of my weaknesses, so that I cannot take the credit in anything that is accomplished.

"But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: 'God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.'" - James 4:6

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Back in Austin.

It's been three days since I've been back in Austin. While it's been exciting and fun, everything has been fast-paced. And each day feels really long. Even though I've only been here for three days, I feel like I've spent my entire summer here. So much has happened.

My first day was spent moving in, eating with friends, and playing basketball until midnight. The second day, I spent time rearranging my place and whatnot. Afterwards, I played basketball for the rest of the night. Today, I spent all day cleaning my old place, moving things, eating a lot, shopping for groceries, and playing basketball until now.

Busyness of Life
I'm sure most of you don't care what I've done for the past three days. So I'll get straight to the point of this post. I'm guilty of getting caught up with the busyness of life.

While I was in Dallas, I spent so much time reading the Word, praying, and resting in Him. Austin is the complete opposite, right now. I've barely had time to read, pray, or rest. Whenever I get home, I just want to "entertain myself" through Youtube, Netflix, or whatever else.

If your schedule is so busy that you can't spend time with God, then something is wrong. As of right now, I'm guilty of that. Sometimes, it's important to stop and evaluate how you're spending your time and what you're spending your time on.

I pray and hope that I can slow down and look to Him. Because honestly, that's all that matters.

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Childlike.

Last week, I spent a day taking my niece and nephew to watch How to Train Your Dragon 2. I want to share how a 9 and 7 year old challenged me to re-evaluate myself.

During the car ride, these two kids would not stop singing. And I don't mean that in a negative way. It was really nice to hear them sing praise songs. They were actually in tune most of the time. But what intrigued me was how they sang songs of worship so innocently, freely, openly, and accepting-ly.

"I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." - Luke 18:17

Some of you may be thinking, "kids are conditioned to do things like this" or "those kids are just doing what they're told: memorize bible verses, memorize songs, sing songs, etc." And you may be right. However, they also do these things without challenging it. They accept it as it is, and that's the amazing part.

Sometimes we forget how to accept things as it is. I'm guilty of challenging things all the time. It's just what the world teaches us. "Don't believe something until it is justified, reasonable, or proven". But that's just the opposite of what Jesus tells us to do.

I sin all the time. That's a fact. And I will keep sinning until I die. Every time I sin, I rebel against God. Of course, that's not something I want to do. I hate failing and disappointing God. I feel guilt, remorse, condemnation. But here's the strange thing. God doesn't tell you to do or feel like this. 

To my understanding, I don't think the Bible ever tells anyone to feel guilty or punish them self. God tells us to repent. Repenting with conviction and guilt are two different things. Repent comes from conviction, which is from the Holy Spirit. It's an urge to ask for forgiveness even though it may be the trillionth time. Guilt is NOT from the Spirit; it's from Satan.
 
When I sin against God, I can't but help to feel guilty. I want to punish myself and face the consequence of what I did wrong. I want to redeem myself for messing up. But that's the opposite of what God wants us to do. God wants us to accept the grace He has already given to us.

Christmas Day
Judah Smith puts it this way. Imagine children opening presents on Christmas Day. When kids open up a gift, they can't stop smiling, laughing, rejoicing, etc. NEVER will you see a kid say, "I owe you dad" or "Thanks for the gift! I'll pay you back later!" In the same way, we need to accept God's free gift of grace.

When you feel guilt or remorse, ask for forgiveness. Get back up and try again. Don't try to redeem yourself. When you try to "make-up" for your bad day, you're insulting the sacrifice of Christ. Basically you're telling Jesus, "Aye man, I appreciate all that you did for me, but I'm gonna add a little more to it so that I can become righteous." That makes no sense!

Accept Grace like a child. Embrace Grace like a child. When you do that, there is a sense of freedom. You are already victorious through Christ.
 

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When I Worship.

Up until these past few years of my life, I never truly understood what it meant to "worship God". And we all know that the most common form of worship is singing songs of praise with a band. But of course, worship can be in any form: prayer, dancing, singing, etc. I believe worship is anything and everything that points to the glorification of God.

However, I felt like writing about worshiping through song. I must confess that I don't truly worship 100% of the time. Let me explain. I believe that a true time of worship is when you focus on a one-on-one session with God. You don't think about anything else but God. And believe me, that's not an easy thing to do all the time.

Many times during praise, I get distracted. Sometimes I get distracted by the way the band plays. Sometimes I focus on whether I'm in tune and how well I'm singing. Sometimes I'm worrying about what I have to do after church. And sometimes I focus on the people around me and how much they're "into it". It's very difficult to give 100% of yourself to God.

When I experience my "true session" of praise, I feel like I'm praying. I focus so much on the words, that it feels like a prayer (with some melodic inflections). And I put passion and intention and sincerity into every word that comes out of my mouth. It feels awesome.

It's been about a week since I've gotten the new Hillsong Worship album. And I just wanted to share a song that I've been "truly worshiping" to. The song is titled "This I Believe (The Creed)".

This song, in my opinion, is such an awesome song that reminds me of the fundamental Truth of the Gospel. And at the same time, I can make it my prayer and boldly proclaim it.

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East to the West.

Last night, I had a very strange dream. I cried in my dream. I know, that's a huge surprise for many of you. And in case you were wondering, yes I have cried before. But let me explain what's more strange than me crying in a dream.

I can't quite explain what was happening in my dream. I don't know where I was, and I don't know what was happening. The only thing I remember is that I was crying and hearing the words "I love you". I don't remember the voice. However, I knew it was God who was speaking to me.

Many of you will write this off as some "religious" crazy thing. But I just want to remind you that you are loved. I believe that when you truly experience and understand God's love for you, there's nothing you can do but break down. Just hearing and experience those three words in a dream made me feel so good. I woke up in the morning feeling so good and victorious.

As I woke up, I started randomly singing the lyrics to a song. The song was "East to the west" by Casting Crowns. The song is about God's love for mankind.

"For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us." - Psalm 103:11-12

I want to point out one misunderstanding about "fearing" God. Judah Smith puts "fear" in a good perspective. Judah interprets "fearing" God not as "terror" but in "awe". God doesn't want you to be terrorized by Him. He wants you to be in awe of His goodness and His love for you.

How far is the east from the west? 
No really. How far is it? Jefferson Bethke put it in terms like this. We all know how far north and south you can go. The ends of the north and south are at the poles of the earth. Once you past the north pole, you start going south and vice versa. However, how do you know when you've reached the end of going west? You can't. It's infinite.

In the same way, God has removed his wrath and our transgressions on us, infinitely. That means we have been eternally forgiven. We are infinitely loved.

God had this written long before Jesus came. God wrote "... as far as the east is from the west" for a reason. It's clever isn't it? That's God for you.

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