Working In The Shadows

I've been in LA for a week. And it's been a hectic week, to say the least. A lot of my first few days here were spent settling into my living space, becoming familiar with the area, and starting my job. And I wanted to take some time to take a breather and write down some thoughts that have stuck with my throughout the week.

On Monday, I had a chance to meet up with my friend Brian. And he gave me some amazing advice on what to expect and do as a child of God. He took the time to explain what not to do and shared the importance of staying anchored in Christ.

Brian explained it to me like this. Fame can be so tempting. The thought of becoming famous can be so appealing. It can draw you into a mindset of selfishness without you realizing it. And if you're ever in a position of receiving fame, it's important to be anchored and humble in Christ.

Brian serves in the prayer ministry. It's behind the scenes, and he tries to avoid the spotlight. At the same time, he explained that he has brothers and sisters who keep him anchored and humble in Christ. His community keeps him grounded in what truly matters.

And most importantly, he tries not to make his life about film. Although he is a filmmaker, he never forgets the sole purpose of why we are still on this earth as Christians. We are here to share the gospel. He admits not spending every minute thinking of film ideas. Instead, he makes sure to witness to everyone he passes by. God will provide the ideas when the time is right.

You can always try to create an amazing movie. But in the end, people value authenticity the most. And what better way to live an authentic life than to live like Christ and share the Gospel?

I know it's ironic how I'm praising him for his humility. But I had to share with everyone. I'm in awe of all the things Brian had to share with me - even though it was our second time meeting in person. And I can only pray and hope that we all can live authentically for Christ.

"He must increase, but I must decrease" - John 3:30

And if you haven't seen "The Drop Box", then go watch it

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Dear Mom

Dear Mom,
I remember when the three of us (dad) lived in an apartment. I had a few friends around the neighborhood, but you were the only friend that kept me company 24/7. I remember when you always took me to the park when I had no one to play with.

Thank you for that.

I remember when we moved into our first home. I didn't any friends at first - so you took me to the park again. Then I made a few friends and began to play with them. I spent less time with you, and you seemed okay with that. You always said, "As long as you're happy, I'm happy."

But there were a lot of times when my friends weren't available to play. So you gladly took the time to play chess and monopoly with me. And other times, you watched TV with me - even though you probably didn't care about the show.

Thank you for that.

As I grew up, I learned to be more independent. I didn't have to bother you all the time because I had a gameboy and playstation. I'm sure you were relieved. But I still bothered you. I asked you to watch me play and to cheer me on - and you did.

Thank you for that.

Finally, I grew up to the point where I felt fully independent. I felt like I didn't need you or dad to keep me company. I could keep myself entertained through the games I played and the comics I read. We probably talked less and less - like all teenagers do.

You tried to bring up conversations. But I avoided them. Instead of getting frustrated, you calmly told me, "Your dad and I trust that you'll make the right decisions. We'll support you in whatever you do." And you always reiterated the importance of trusting in God and being in constant communication with Him.

Thank you for that.

I didn't think much of any of this until I headed to college. It didn't hit me until I met others in college. Not everyone has had a mother like you. I did nothing to deserve a loving mother like you, who always nags about me eating enough, sleeping enough, growing enough, or praying enough. And I realize that you represent a glimpse of God's grace for me.

Thank you for that.

Please stop worrying about whether I'm eating well - or at least worry less. And don't worry about my future. I'm in God's hands - you taught me that.

Thank you for that.

Your son,
 Justin

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A-Team

As I clicked ENTER and logged off the computer, I realized that this was the last time. This was the last time I would take minutes for an admin meeting. This was the last time we would meet in this room. I said these thoughts out loud during out meeting in a joking manner. But at the same time, I was serious. While it's fresh in my mind, I want to share my thoughts and my advice for the future leaders.

I had a lot of ambition coming into the school year. There were many goals I wanted to accomplish as an admin leader. I was ready to influence a change. But I now realize that I have been influenced more than I influenced others. I, for certain, was not a perfect leader. In fact, I was probably lacking in more areas than I thought.

I came in with an approach to be stern. I thought, "that's the only way things are going to change." But I was proven wrong. Sure - there may have been moments where my methods worked. But there were many more moments where it didn't. I find myself to be a fairly patient person, but my patience was tested at various times. And there were times where I wondered if anyone appreciates anything. But in the end, I look back and see what has happened.

I have been humbled more than I thought I could be (does that mean I was prideful?). And I was taught so much.

Here's all I have to say. 

You can only lead by example - with patience and grace. Don't take things personally. Be patient with others - even though they may not understand. Those moments of sternness can only be applied when others understand that you're doing it out of love.

Jesus is patient with us all the time. Many times, we complain, we fall short, we mumble, and we don't listen. But he never gives up. He continues to love and be patient. And eventually, we turn around and repent.

Let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. - 1 John 3:18

Acts is on a good course. Although I may seem absent, you all have taken the initiative to do amazing things in serving one another. Soli Deo Gloria.

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Vlogging

So many of you probably know - I started vlogging since last Saturday. It's been quite an interesting experience, and I wanted to share some thoughts on it so far. Let's make it simple. I want to talk about what I expected before starting and what I think about it now.

Expectations Before Starting
I like to plan out things. So I've had different shots and time lapses in my head months before I decided to start vlogging. Every so often, I would stop and look at my surroundings and think about how cool this shot would look. But I didn't act upon it.

When I finally made the decision to start vlogging, I felt confident in my ability to capture some cool shots and angles. I also had a format that I wanted to follow - Casey Neistat. This made me feel comfortable and ready to hit the ground running at full speed.

My Thoughts On Vlogging So Far
My expectations were definitely met - for the most part. It's still awkward to have people look at you with a giant camera in hand. Other than that, it's all good. Shooting and editing is so fun. I love it. I love the aspect of having to think creatively in the way I shoot images and the way I present my material. And fortunately, I had a lot of fun things going for me this past weekend. I had originally planned to vlog everyday, but my thoughts have already begun to change.

Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy vlogging. But I'm still a student, and I have other interests that I want to continue pursuing. For example, I still want to find some time to read my list of books. I want to have time to keep screenwriting. And I realized that vlogging has taken up all of my free time that I used to have.

Should you then seek great things for yourself? Do not seek them. For I will bring disaster on all people, declares the Lord, but wherever you go I will let you escape with your life. - Jeremiah 45:5

These change of thoughts occurred today. As I was praying this morning, I got a weird conviction and feeling of uneasiness. I did my devotional, and it revolved around this question - "Are you seeking great things for yourself? Or are you seeking great things for God?"

At first, I thought to myself "I'm challenging myself to grow and become more knowledgable in film making". I must be doing what God wants me to do because I'm putting myself in uncomfortable situations. I convinced myself that there's nothing wrong.

However, I thought about it again as I watched the vlog I'm supposed to upload for today. Some of things I said were questionable in my own opinion. Is this really what I would say? Or did I just say it for the sake of appealing to a youtube audience?

So here's what I'm trying to say. I've decided to not vlog everyday because I can feel it becoming a bigger priority than my spiritual walk. And that's not a good thing. I want to make sure that I can put God first before trying to vlog everyday.

Of course, I'll still vlog - but probably not on a daily basis. Maybe God wants me to become a vlogger - maybe not. But what I know for sure is that I should never anything hinder me from spending quality time with Him.

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Wake up

The past week has been very, very weird. It sort of felt like a bomb of unpredictable chaos came into my life. Maybe I'm over exaggerating - but that's what I initially thought. All of this began last Wednesday.

First, I receive an email that put my Disney internship in a questionable position. With the new circumstances, I may not graduate on time by taking the internship. At that moment, I felt like the door was closing. I had to make a decision between the two options. And I struggled between two mindsets - either I can trust in God and be content with whatever happens or be upset and blame God/school/etc.

On the same day, I learn that our apartment complex had a chemical gas incident. A student committed suicide. And for some reason, I had the audacity to make some insensitive/blunt comments about the incident. I was more concerned about me not being able to sleep in my apartment that night. So I apologize for those who had to read my comments.

That night, I had a dream about being held at gunpoint in my car. I got shot - well I think I did. All I remember is the gun going off. My ears were ringing. I felt nothing. And I was looking down to see if I got hit. Then I woke up. At this point, I was shaken. I had no idea what was going on. I was in shock and scared all of a sudden. So I did the only thing I was taught by my parents - pray.

I prayed with no words in mind - I just sat there.

Then the words began to form. As I began to talk with God, He showed me that I wasn't awake. I haven't been paying attention to where He's placed me and why I'm here. I've been so focused on getting to the next destination in my own power. And it has hindered me from listening to God and being obedient in my current position.

None of this hit me until last night and this morning. I watched a video that my friend, Young, posted. And now I'm writing this to share God's goodness. I'm thankful that He has been gracious in lightly shaking me awake. He could have completely destroyed my life to make me wake up. But He didn't.

So I want to encourage you all to wake up - if you're asleep.

Oh yeah - and I learned I'll still graduate on time while going to Disney for the summer. But that's not the important thing.

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Blessed Are The Merciful

Yesterday at small group, we discussed the beatitudes. It's also known as the Sermon on the Mount. I'm sure many of you are familiar with it - or at least it sounds familiar. I've heard it plenty of times, but like my leaders said, "it's always good to go back to the basics."

And [Jesus] opened his mouth and taught them, saying: “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you. 

After reading the section, there's an overarching theme. Everything that Jesus says seems to be opposite of how our world runs. Since when has society told us that humility will cause us to inherit everything? All I remember hearing is "if you don't fight for what you want, then you won't become successful." How often do we show mercy to others? We seem to operate on the idea of "an eye for an eye".

I wonder what would happen if our world became like this - right now. What would happen if everyone became selfless, merciful, and peacemaking. It's nearly impossible for my mind to fathom such a thing - which is quite sad. But it excites me because that's what the world will be when Christ returns. No weeping, no pain, no hurt, no war, no brokenness. The list can go on and on.

But that doesn't mean we should sit and wait. We can strive to be like Christ with the power of Christ in us. We can be influencers by going into the world and showing them what could be and will be. We don't have to be on the defensive, trying to avoid the world and it's ideologies. We can be on the offensive by sharing the grace we have received.

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What Do You Fear?

I don't know about you, but I tend to have a lot of irrational fears. More specifically, I have a lot of what if fears. I don't know if that makes sense, but bear with me. I think it'll make sense.

I always have these desires to try something out. It starts to come together in my head, and I really excited about the idea. But all of a sudden, the what if's seep into my mind.

What if this happens? You don't have this ready. What if people think this? You need to have this down first before you can do it. What if it doesn't turn out well? What if it takes too long?

After a little while, the idea gets drowned out by the what ifs. Then I forget it and go back into my daily routine. Is it just me? I can't be the only one that faces this. It's so frustrating sometimes.

But I came to a conclusion. If I never try it, then I'll never know what it could have been. It could fail, or it could turn out just as I thought (or maybe even better). I guess this goes back to the same idea of my previous post of Living Out Boldly.

So for those of you with ideas - go be bold and try it out. However, I have to put a caveat to that statement. Make sure your intention is centered around Christ. Because if you don't, that idea will most likely fail without God's support. But I'm sure many of you reading have the right mindset.

So I want to encourage you (and myself) that the ideas and desires you have can be from God. Pray about it, and don't let the irrational fears stop you from acting upon it. And when you act upon it, don't expect results immediately - nothing happens overnight. Maybe God wants us to be patient and wait upon His timing. Or maybe the idea you had wasn't the right thing. But you'll never know until you try.

I guess I just convinced myself to try something. Maybe this post was for me. Is that selfish? Oh well - sorry.

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