First, I receive an email that put my Disney internship in a questionable position. With the new circumstances, I may not graduate on time by taking the internship. At that moment, I felt like the door was closing. I had to make a decision between the two options. And I struggled between two mindsets - either I can trust in God and be content with whatever happens or be upset and blame God/school/etc.
On the same day, I learn that our apartment complex had a chemical gas incident. A student committed suicide. And for some reason, I had the audacity to make some insensitive/blunt comments about the incident. I was more concerned about me not being able to sleep in my apartment that night. So I apologize for those who had to read my comments.
That night, I had a dream about being held at gunpoint in my car. I got shot - well I think I did. All I remember is the gun going off. My ears were ringing. I felt nothing. And I was looking down to see if I got hit. Then I woke up. At this point, I was shaken. I had no idea what was going on. I was in shock and scared all of a sudden. So I did the only thing I was taught by my parents - pray.
I prayed with no words in mind - I just sat there.
Then the words began to form. As I began to talk with God, He showed me that I wasn't awake. I haven't been paying attention to where He's placed me and why I'm here. I've been so focused on getting to the next destination in my own power. And it has hindered me from listening to God and being obedient in my current position.
None of this hit me until last night and this morning. I watched a video that my friend, Young, posted. And now I'm writing this to share God's goodness. I'm thankful that He has been gracious in lightly shaking me awake. He could have completely destroyed my life to make me wake up. But He didn't.
So I want to encourage you all to wake up - if you're asleep.
Oh yeah - and I learned I'll still graduate on time while going to Disney for the summer. But that's not the important thing.
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