A Good Friday = 22

I forgot it was my birthday until Thursday. This can only mean one thing, I'm becoming old(er). I guess it's because nothing exciting happens after you turn 21. You can rent a car at 25, but that's basically all I can think of. So I didn't really do much on the day of my birthday. But there was something else really special about my birthday this year. For the first time, my birthday landed on Good Friday.

Realizing this, I was humbled. Sure it's my birthday, even though I almost forgot. But this day is celebrated for a different reason. It's celebrated as the biggest event that eternally changed the history of mankind.

So I thought of two things. (1) I'm glad to have my birthday on Good Friday because it makes my day twice as special. (2) I'm kind of not glad my birthday is on Good Friday because my birthday is less significant than what Christ did for the world.

Like I said, my day wasn't too special. I ran a few errands, went to Good Friday service, and had a fun night with some of the guys. It was a good, simple day. I greatly appreciated the fact that God didn't allow my day to be crazy with surprises and events. He allowed it to be simple so that I could think about the most important thing of that day.

Yes, it was my birthday. But more importantly, it was the day that the world was given access to eternal life. Every birthday would be meaningless if it weren't for Christ's death on the cross on Good Friday. Why celebrate birthdays if you're celebrating a day closer to eternal death and suffering? But because of what happened on Good Friday, I was (and now) am able to celebrate my birthdays as a day closer to eternal life and everlasting joy.

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Living Out Boldly

A lot of things have come into my life, and it's disrupted the expected trajectory of my life. I think of it as approaching a fork in the road of life -- or having large boulder drop into a still lake. Everything was going smoothly until something appeared out of nowhere. However, this isn't a bad type of disruption. It's a good one.

I'm still in the process of comprehending all that has happened to me within the past year. But I thought I'd write down my thinking process. A year ago, I would have never thought I would enjoy reading or writing. I would have never thought that I would have a craving to tell stories and capture images. I would have never thought that I would meet people who are highly esteemed. I would have never thought that those people would be willing to mentor me. All these things disrupted my expected course in life.

So here I am, trying to process what all of this means. What is God trying to say? What am I supposed to do? What if it doesn't work out? What if. What if. What if...

1) The Bible says not to worry about the future. 
It's a long ways away. Focus on the present moment. Enjoy what you have today. Be thankful in the current circumstance. Even the Lord's prayer tells us that God will provide us our daily bread. Although, it is difficult to fight this mindset when the problems of the real world constantly surround us. It's all about taking "one step, one punch, and one round at a time." Yes, I just quoted Creed. It's a great movie.

2) As Christians, we should be living boldly - not fearfully. 
I spoke with my pastor about my current dilemma. And he mentioned how frustrating it is to see Christians living with doubt/fear/worry. If you are sure in where you are being led, then why fear the unknown? Of course, it's natural to fear the unknown. But we should be bold, knowing that Christ has led us and will lead us for the rest of our days.

Am I certain that I'm being led in this direction? If so, then I should follow it boldly. If not, then I should wait patiently. Maybe I already know the answer. Maybe I'm just looking for others to tell me the answer I already know. I don't know. Yes? Yes. Maybe. No.

I need more prayer. Peace out.

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Just For My Own Record

I want to record a brief summary of how crazy my life has been the past year. This isn't for me to brag about how I accomplished such and such. This more of a testament of how good He is to me, despite my shortcomings. Also, I want to look back on this post one day and see how far I've come.

Summer 2015
I became interested in photography. Learned all the technical basics and began to venture out into this creative world. While learning, I saw an application for the Jubilee Project Fellowship. I applied and didn't think I would get in. I got in, and I still don't know how.

I met a lot of amazing people with awesome gifts/talents. I was introduced to a whole new world of thinking, and it changed the way I now think. And this was all through God.

Fall 2015
I came back to school, craving a way to stay active in this new mindset. I began to write scripts, create videos, and take photos. But I still wondered if this discovery was just a temporary interest or a God-given passion.

But even as I wondered, opportunities continued to come about. I became a photojournalist for Humans of Austin. I helped film a music video for a band. But one event blew my mind. I learned that my accounting program finished developing a summer program in LA for accountants to work within film companies. The program had been in the works for a few years, but it just so happened to be ready at this moment. So of course, I applied.

Winter 2015
I read a lot over break - like a lot. I hate reading, but I began to enjoy it the more I read. This was definitely not my own doing, as funny as that may sound. At the same time, I worked my accounting internship with Ernst and Young. I learned how to learn, and I was challenged in so many different ways - mentally and spiritually. All the while, I wrote scripts in my free time and read a lot of books.

Spring 2016
I finish my internship and hear back from the LA summer program. I receive an internship offer with Disney as a production accountant. I so happened to buy tickets to LA way before any of this. So I visit Walt Disney Studios while seeing friends in LA - who graciously took time out of their day to see me.

I head back to Austin for a church retreat and have an amazing time there (that's another post for another time). I come back from retreat and get a phone call to help make a video for Billboard. I didn't really know what to expect, but I finished it that night. Surprisingly, the people liked the way I made it. And now I'm about to start school.

These are way too many coincidences to be called coincidences. This is God at work in my life. And I have done nothing to deserve this. I'm a broken person, who disobeys God just like everyone else in this world. Throughout this journey, I have worried for no reason. Other times, I had become prideful at the thought of going into the film industry. And yet, He's willing to use me.

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Lesson from the first sixth of 2016

Two months of 2016 have already gone by. What have you guys learned about yourselves? About God? About life? I hope we're all learning in someway - whether it be from school or life experiences. Because to me, time is becoming more and more limited. I feel as if my life is passing by at an accelerating rate. Each year goes by faster than the previous one. And that mentality has benefited me. However, it has also restricted me.

I believe it's important for us to always remember that our time on earth is limited. 80ish years may seem like a long time, and it can be a long time. But I try to always put it in relativity to an eternity. I love how Francis Chan puts this concept with an illustration (I'll link the video below).

This mindset has made me think about investing my time in the most efficient/effective way possible. I'm always challenging myself to be "doing" something. And I end up hating myself when a day has been "wasted".

But here's my problem: I've been so caught up with finding my purpose in God that I lost sight of God himself. I forgot about His commands to serve, rest, and fellowship. So instead of being content in God, I worried about things way into the future.

Someone shared this illustration with me. The life that we walk with God is like driving at night. Our headlights show only what's immediately ahead. But it won't show what's a couple miles ahead. The road may curve later down the road. But why worry about it when you're not even close? Everything in life is unpredictable. Changes happen. Nothing is stable. But He's stable. He's constant. His unchanging love is predictable.

And when you learn to let go, He responds in a crazy way. Sometimes it's immediately. Other times, it may take a while.

But Godliness with contentment is great gain. - 1 Timothy 6:6

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A Letter

Dear Child,

First of all - know that I love you. My love is so deep and wide that it's beyond your comprehension (Eph. 3:18). You are my masterpiece (Eph. 2:10) because I made you in my image (Gen. 1:27). Therefore, I am shaping and molding you so that you can do the good things that I've planned for you to do (Eph. 2:10).

Sometimes your circumstances make it seem as if I've left you all alone. But remember this - I will never leave you nor forsake you (Deut. 31:6). I've guided you since birth and brought you to this moment. How could you possibly think that I would leave you all of a sudden?

During those times of difficulty and confusion, remember that what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal (2 Cor. 4:18). You may think it's the end. But child - it's only the beginning. Your life is just a breath (Jas. 4:14). And there is so much more to look forward to in eternity.

Knowing that your life is just a breath, there will be moments when you think that your life is being wasted away. I know that you want to do great things in My Name. But my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts are higher than your thoughts (Isa. 55:9). Don't think that your plans will have a greater impact than my plan. I know what's best for you, and I want what's best for you. So trust in me. Trust in my timing. Trust in my judgement. And I will give you clarity at the right time (Pr. 3:6).

I promise that I will fulfill my purpose in you (1 Thess. 5:24).

Love,

Your Heavenly Father

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The High School Days

Today I had an opportunity to volunteer at a high school as a part of my internship experience at EY. A group of interns and I went to a high school and help kids learn how to develop a business plan for their ideas. And it was pretty amazing seeing these kids starting something like this at such a young age. What these high school freshmen are learning now is what I learned my freshman year of college. But I was more awestruck at their ideas.

Let me first explain one thing. See - these kids aren't "well-off". I could tell even before I arrived at the school. After driving for about 30 minutes past downtown Dallas, the environment changed completely. I could see the houses and buildings progressively worsen as I drove towards the school. In the neighborhood around the school I could see so much disparity. Some houses were completely torn down with the windows boarded up. Other houses were suburban looking and seemed like they didn't fit in with the others. I kid you not, I saw one nice suburban literally touching fences next to a, what seemed to be, crackhouse. I was more surprised when I saw metal detectors stationed at every school door entrance.

One of the teachers explained how many kids don't even believe they have a chance in going to college. It doesn't exist in their minds. They expect to "do what their parents do" after they graduate high school. Many of these kids haven't gone more than 20 to 30 miles from their home. Now here's where I felt beyond amazed at some of these kids. Two girls I met had an idea to make an app to help prevent bullying. My first question was why? "Because I see it almost everyday here at school."

So we begin going through the business plan template - answering all the questions. Many of these questions became difficult to answer because they ask about profitability. What data have you collected that proves your business's profitability? How will you increase profits? What is the buying pattern of your customers?

As we continued the conversation, they didn't think there was a realistic way to make enough money to make this happen. I tried to explain the idea of using ads and whatnot, but it didn't seem to convince them. They said things like: I don't know. I want to do this, BUT I don't know if I can. I'm not sure. I don't know how. I don't think I can. What's the use.

What kid already has self-doubt, self-defeat by the age of 14? I really wish I could have told them about the only one who can give hope. But I couldn't because I was in a "work" setting. I guess the least (and most) I can do is pray for kids like these.

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Because I'm Happy?

Do ever get those moments when you feel happy after hearing some news? 

Like, nothing about your day has changed. Your schedule hasn't changed. But you feel happy/excited about something that will happen in the near future. Why? Don't you find that kind of weird? How does it make sense that you feel better when nothing about the present moment has changed? The only thing that has changed is what you've become aware of.

For example, it's a normal work/school day. You wake up, go to class/work, come home, have some free time, and go to sleep. But by making plans for the weekend, you all of a sudden become happy and excited. You treat people more nicely. You feel more talkative and positive about your day.

I don't know about you, but I experience this a lot. Just recently, I got some news back about a potential opportunity in the summer (I'll share it later when I get the final word). My day instantly became better. Work was enjoyable - even though my tasks didn't change at all. I felt good throughout the day. But my schedule was the exact same as the day before. How does that even happen?

I think you get my point. And I think it's safe to say that when we learn or become aware of good news, we become uplifted/motivated/determined/happy/etc. Our present moment becomes better because we have come to realization that there is something to look forward to. Then let me ask you this - and I'm asking myself the same question. Shouldn't this be like the gospel?

"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." - Colossians 3:2

If we know that there will be some awesome things to come, then shouldn't we feel happy about our present circumstance? Even though the situation hasn't changed, shouldn't we feel this uplifting spirit when we hear/acknowledge/realize the good news? Our present moment doesn't seem so difficult when you think about the near future. We begin to treat our circumstances and the people around us with a positive outlook. And some may ask, "Why are you so different today? Nothing at school/work has changed. What's gotten into you?" Then you have an opportunity to explain the truth that has been revealed to you.

Disclaimer: I'm still challenging myself as I write this post. Don't think I have it all together because I don't. But I hope this'll change your outlook on things!

Brian || Taylor || Hnou || Xing || Judy || Esther || Josh || Jenine

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