I Am Weak.

Before I start, I want to apologize to everyone who I promised to meet up with. Since I haven't been able to meet up and share about my past weeks, this will be my way to communicate that to you. For the time being, at least.

For the past week or so, I've been very busy. I wish I could say that I'm exaggerating, but I'm not. For example, today was a long day. I woke up at 8:30AM, had class until 7PM, had a quick dinner, and studied until now. Honestly, I don't know how I got through today.

My days have been consistently like this. If you think I'm here to vent/complain about how my schedule is crazier/more intense than yours, then you're mistaken. I'm here to say the opposite. I'm weak.

I'm weak. I'll admit it. There is no way that I can handle my current schedule by my own will/efforts. And I'm thankful that my schedule has pushed me to the limit. Why? Because God has proven to me that I can only do so many things on my own will. Let me explain.

This past summer, I remember specifically that I prayed for my pride to be removed from my life. I asked God to humble me no matter what it took. And guess what? I think that prayer has been answered.

There is no way that I could have survived today on my own. There is no way that I could have been so peaceful and calm at certain times. And there is no way that I would put myself through these conditions for the sake of making a huge salary in the future.

So everyday that I am able to get through, I cannot take any credit. I know I'm weak. There's no way I can do this on my own. It's not me. It's Him. He's constant. He's good. He's faithful. He is Better.

But the fight's not over yet. Next week will be even more challenging, and I hope and pray that I'll be able to stay thankful in all circumstances and remain in prayer.

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A Slap in the Face

This semester, I've been spread thin with my time commitments. I didn't know what to prioritize in. I didn't know how to plan out my schedule in terms of studying, meeting with people, coordinating IM volleyball, etc. And the number 1 thing you DON'T want to do is think about everything all at once. I made that mistake.
So of course, I began to think too much about things. I began to feel stressed. You know how the process works. Anyway, there was one more mistake that I made. I wasn't in prayer about the decisions I was making. I was saying "Yes" to everything because I wanted to accomplish everything. I was trying to bite off more than I could chew.

I was reminded of this as I was listening to a sermon at Austin Stone on Campus. By the way, it was a great time. You should go next year.

"Elijah went before the people and said, 'How long will you waver between two opinions? If the Lord is God, follow him; but if Baal is God, follow him.'” - 1 Kings 18:21

We tend to always have a back up plan. That's what we're taught. Always plan for the worst and have a plan B. But I don't think that should apply in our spiritual walk.

We sometimes straddle a fence between God and our own desires. And I was guilty of this fact. There are many accomplishments that I want to fulfill... I want to get better at volleyball, I want to get more camera lenses, I want to travel the world, I want, I want, I want.

And this is a natural tendency for all human beings. We all have wants and desires. Many of us don't want to let go of them. We want to hang onto these things because we think that achieving it will bring us complete satisfaction. Reaching that goal, receiving that object, or accomplishing that task will make us 100% satisfied. False.

We always want something more after we finish a task. And we keep searching and searching and searching. Let me tell you that you won't find what you're looking for down here on earth.

"... If the Lord is God, follow him; but if Baal is God, follow him.”

If you have experienced God, if you know He is real, if you have a slight feeling that He may be real, then go all in for Him. If you're not sure about Him, ask for Him to help you experience Him.

"But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul." - Deuteronomy 4:29

So there was my "Slap in the Face". I'm glad I came to realize this in my own life. Don't get so caught up with the stuff in front of you. The world doesn't revolve around you. There are bigger things at hand. God's work. The kingdom's work. Get involved in it. Go 100% for His kingdom, not your own.

"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." - Colossians 3:1-2

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You're Not Alone.

No I'm not talking about that Saosin song. Although I did like them a lot in middle/high school. But I want to let everyone that's reading this know that you're not alone on this journey of life. After talking with a lot of individuals today, I came to realize how much we are going through in our own lives.

A lot of us are in college. We have a lot of studying to do. We have commitments in organizations. We have our college fellowship events: small groups, social gatherings, large groups, etc. I have a lot of stuff to do. You have a lot of stuff to do. And lets be honest. It can be overwhelming and stressful.

In my situation, I've committed my time to a lot of different things. And honestly, I'm not sure if I spread myself too thin or not. Many of you are probably thinking the same thing. But let me share something that has helped me.

Don't try and do it alone. Share you burden with others. Now that doesn't mean you get a all-pass to vent out about your problems. But it's okay to ask for prayer from others. I could sure use some prayer myself. And I'll be happy to pray for anyone who asks for some prayer.

We're all broken people. No one's perfect. We're meant to live our lives through relationships with others. Why do you think the Bible talks about the church, the community, the body of Christ, and being one body and one spirit of believers?

Please if you are ever feeling like you're about to blow up, break, shatter, or whatever else... ask for prayer. I doubt anyone will say no to your prayer request. And also, don't forget that He is bigger than whatever you're facing. I know it's repeated a lot, but it's true. Keep telling yourself that until you believe it. It's not easy, but I know that it will work.

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." - 1 Peter 5:7

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