"Jesus Wept"

"Jesus Wept" - John 11:35

If you want to memorize at least one verse of the Bible, I think think this is the shortest verse. But I believe it's also a verse that has so much weight and meaning to it. If you're not familiar with the background of this story, then I'll do my best to sum it up in a nutshell. Again, I'm not a pastor. So I'll probably make mistakes. Therefore, you should read it for yourself.

There was a man named Lazarus, who was very sick. Mary and Martha, who were very close to Jesus, ask him to come see Lazarus.

"So the sisters sent word to Jesus, 'Lord, the one you love is sick.'" - John 11:3

Long story short, Jesus decides to wait two more days before making his way towards Lazarus. Spoiler alert: Lazarus dies by the time Jesus comes to see him, Mary, and Martha. When Jesus arrives, he sees Lazarus and brings him back to life. The end.

But why did Jesus weep when he arrived? He's the one that showed up late. And he knew that he was going to raise Lazarus back to life. If he already knew that Lazarus was going to be revived, why did he weep with Mary and Martha?

The rest of this explanation came from a Judah Smith sermon. Surprise. To put it simply, God is a PRESENT God. Although he is not bound by time, he is a present God for our sake. In this story, Jesus took the time to be present with Mary and Martha. He wept with them EVEN THOUGH he knew what was going to happen afterwards.

Think about it this way. Let's say you're talking to another person. In the middle of your conversation, the person becomes angry because he/she knows what you're GOING TO DO against them. That wouldn't seem very fair, would it? It's ridiculous that a person would be angry at you all the time because he/she knows that you're GOING TO hurt them in the near future.

Think about God's situation. He knows when you're going to rebel/deny Him. He knows exactly what you'll be wearing, where you'll be, what time it will be when you sin against Him. But He loves you as you are in the PRESENT moment. He loves you now EVEN THOUGH you have sinned and will sin against Him. That's how unconditional His love is for you. He will always love you NOW. I think that's amazing.

{ Continue Reading... }

Twenty One Years Old.

As I'm writing this, I am one hour away from turning 21. But honestly, nothing will be any different. Sure I can legally drink and whatnot, but I'm still just a imperfect person trying to follow Christ. It's just like what my dad wrote me in my birthday letter...

"So now you are legal (whatever that means to you). But we are not defined by the laws and ways of this world. We are defined by His way."

Each year, I get to look back and see how dumb I was the previous year. I think about how I worried about the most insignificant things. I think about how funny it was when I took something too seriously. And I question, "how could you have thought/acted like that back then?" I've had a bad habit of judging myself harshly. But now, I think God has shown me a new way to look at things.

We're always going to make mistakes. Past, present, and future. But it's not what I do that defines me. My practices do not dictate my position/identity. Rather, it is what Christ has done and who He is that defines me. My identity in Christ determines how I practice/live my life. I've been reminding myself of this fact for the past few days.

If I base my life on myself, then I'll always have good and bad days. It won't be constant. It drove me insane when I tried living my life out this way. But if you base your identity off of Christ who is never failing and constant, then there is no such thing as good or bad days. It makes sense when you read and think about it. But it's difficult to apply it into your life. I'm still trying to work on that. But that's my encouragement to all of you who are reading this.

It's not about who you are or what you do. It's about who Christ is and what He has already done.

I want to give a quick thank you for everyone who surprised me: Jeanne, Rachel, Yeachan, Hana, Dan, David Alaska, DTK, KeeYoung, Eunice, Catherine, Eric, Richard, Su Min, Sharon, Nathan, Jennifer, Joseph, and Jooch. Photo Credit: Sunny.

And for the special gift I got: Nathan, D. Alaska, D. Chang, J. Hur, E. Ryu, Sunny, Jonathan Sok, DTK, Daniel, James, Peter, Richard, Jeanne, and Sharon!

{ Continue Reading... }

Are You Satisfied?

At some point in our lives, we'll find ourselves feeling dissatisfied. For me, this dissatisfaction stems from either worries/anxieties or jealousy. I catch myself being dissatisfied no matter what time of the year. For example, I feel dissatisfied when I'm in school because I begin to stress and worry about exams/homework/projects. When I'm on break, I sometimes feel dissatisfied because I compare my vacation to other people's vacation.

I don't want to be that guy. I don't like feeling like this, and I don't know where and how it enters my thoughts. And this has been a prayer request and new year's resolution for me.

 “But godliness with contentment is great gain." - 1 Timothy 6:6

I recently came back from a spring retreat with my college fellowship. One of the things that I remember was that we should be careful in what we pray to God. For example, if you ask God to help you love more, then He'll probably put you in a situation with the person you dislike the most. Or if you pray for patience, God will put you in a moment where you have to wait FOREVER. In my case, I'm praying for contentment in Christ. Therefore, I find myself in more situations of worry/anxiety and jealousy of others. Thanks Obama.

All jokes aside, I'm thankful that God allowed me to realize this now. I get jealous of others. I complain about my hardships to myself and God. I'm a broken person. And this break has been a blessing to see how flawed I am. Now, I'm trusting God to work on me.

Do you find yourself feeling like me? Jealous of others? Worried or anxious about what is to come? I want to encourage you all. Godliness (being aware of God's presence and existence) will allow you to be content in life. And this contentment is the source of true wealth, which is satisfaction. Isn't that what everyone is looking for in life? Permanent satisfaction?

{ Continue Reading... }

"Is Your Imagination of God Starved?"

It's been a while since I've posted. But I'll get straight to the point. I've been doing a devotional book that I received from my aunt in 2009. I know what you're thinking... "WOW I can't believe you JUST started it." I'm not perfect, and thankfully God's grace is sufficient. So holla at ya boi if you're imperfect too.

Anyway, I just wanted to share the awesome things I've been experiencing and feeling for the past few weeks. Here's the main question: "Is your imagination of God starved?" I didn't understand this question when I first started the devotional, but it became more clear to me throughout the short excerpt.

My imagination of God does not accurately portray who God is and what He is capable of. And I'm sure your imagination is limiting God's power/image/ability. We limit His power, capability, and ability through our own idols, circumstances, and situations.

For me, my idols can revolve around school. My world and life revolves around school as a college student. Therefore, my circumstances and situations are all school-related. And when I pray to God, I sometimes don't expect Him to answer my prayers. And it's because I limit his capacity and ability to do things in my own imagination.

Sometimes I feel like I'm throwing up a prayer and hoping that God catches it. Sometimes I think, "There's no way that I can finish this (put blank here) in time. It's not possible." Just because I think it's impossible doesn't mean God can't fulfill it.

So I've begun to change my perspective in prayer. God isn't distant. He's here next to you. God can do ALL THINGS, whether you know it or not. Don't limit His power/ability with your deprived imagination and experiences in life. There's so much more that He can do. And we can't possibly comprehend what He is capable of.

Pray with faith, knowing that He is listening to you. Pray with confidence knowing that He loves you and cares for you. Pray, trusting that He knows what's best for you. But also pray in awe of His goodness and grace.

{ Continue Reading... }

1 Chronicles 18:11.

^"King David dedicated these articles to the Lord, as he had done with the silver and gold he had taken from all these nations: Edom and Moab, the Ammonites and the Philistines, and Amalek."

I was doing a quick morning devotional, and I came across this verse. At first, the verse doesn't seem like much. It's just part of a typical Old Testament story. But then I read it again. This verse stuck in my head for some odd reason.

Right now, I'm in the recruiting process to get an internship. And it's been really fun to meet firms and their staff. But I think this verse serves as a warning to me (and maybe you too). Don't get caught up in all of it. Don't begin to direct everything towards yourself. Don't make it about you even though people say it's about you.

I bet King David plundered a whole bunch of gold and silver. He defeated 5 nations at this time. 5 nations. That means he took the wealth of 5 little economies. That's a whole bunch of money. I don't know how much that is worth in today's time. But I bet he felt like he won the lottery at least once or twice.

But here's amazing thing. He still dedicated all this wealth he received back to God. That's tough. I wonder if I'll be able to dedicate my success (if I do ever become successful) to Him. Greed is a real temptation, and I hope I'll be able to overcome it when the time comes. I hope that I'll be able to direct others to Him when they look to me (if that ever happens).

{ Continue Reading... }

Boston and New York.

So it's been about half a week since I came back from my week long vacation. If haven't guessed already, I went to Boston and New York! 4 days in Boston and 3 days in New York. It was my first time going there for a vacation break.

Here are some things that I learned and experienced.

It was very cold.
Very cold. Negative 15 degree wind chill. Therefore, I wore a thermal, long sleeve shirt, sweater, light jacket, scarf, and coat. And I also bought myself some yoga looking/feeling pants. Don't judge me.

Everything is expensive.
Food. Subway tickets. Apartments. Clothes. Stuff. Everything.

I will never live in New York. 
And I most likely will not live in Boston. It's too busy and congested. I like my space.

On a more serious note, I saw a big problem that could enter into my life in the near future. Consumerism/Materialism is a huge trend. In my opinion, New York is the epitome of consumerism/materialism. It's ridiculous how much money gets spent in that city in a single day. People are buying souvenirs, clothes, food, etc. And it's definitely not cheap.

I'm not sure how to explain it, but I felt a conviction not to live that kind of life. I'm not saying buying things for yourself is wrong. We all need to buy things in order to survive and do what we need to do. But I want something else. I want to evaluate whether or not the thing I'm buying will lead to God's glory

"For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil." - 1 Timothy 6:10

I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with being rich. God blesses some for certain purposes in His great plan. And it'd sure be nice if I could be one of those people. But I shouldn't use this idea as an excuse to justify my own pursuit for wealth. And neither should you.

If you think that your financial status determines your satisfaction in life, then you got it wrong. If you think that how much stuff you have determines your happiness in life, then you're wrong. True wealth and satisfaction comes from Christ and only Christ.

In my opinion, how little or much money I have should not determine my satisfaction and happiness in life. Only Christ determines my contentedness in life. And that means I can find contentedness and happiness all the time because He is constant and never shaken.

{ Continue Reading... }

2015: Godliness with Contentment

“But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.” - 1 Timothy 6:6-10

I know that was a handful of verses, but I’ve been convicted about seeking contentedness in life. Let me explain. I listened to a sermon over these verses a skiing vacation with my family. It may or may not have been a Judah Smith sermon.

The Sunday I came back, I heard Pastor Chae give a personal testimony about his past life. It was about the struggles and temptations he faced with materiality. Especially in America, society drives you to keep buying new things for yourself to find satisfaction. In the afternoon, I went to visit my old church and heard my pastor preach about the dangers of the lust of money. That same evening, I saw Lecrae (who is a Christian rapper), share a devotional he had about the same verses (1 Timothy 6:6-10). Coincidence? I think not.

“Godliness with contentment is great gain”. I find myself putting my identity in so many different things. I’m sure you’re the same as I am. We put our identity in our job, financial status, number of followers, likes, friends on facebook, retweets, etc. If you think about it, it’s quite silly that we gain our confidence and meaningfulness through these things. All these things fluctuate, and they are always shaky and changing. For example, you can’t control the economy. Therefore, you are not in full control of your money. The same can be said for everything else in this world.

Which leads me to this verse. “Godliness with contentment is great gain.” Isn’t it funny that the pursuit of money/wealth leads to dis-contentedness? We think money equals true wealth, but we’re always left unsatisfied. We always want to buy more things. The Bible says otherwise. True wealth lies within contentment. And contentment is tied to godliness. 

According to Judah Smith, godliness basically means having “God awareness”. If we are aware of God, then we should easily be content with our lives. How does that help us be content? Let's think about it. Isn’t God faithful? Won’t He provide what is necessary? If God is faithful, which He is, then why are we constantly trying to take over our life to ease our worries and satisfy ourselves?

If we are aware of God, then contentedness should be apparent in our lives. Just to be clear, contentedness does NOT mean laziness or settling down in life. Contentedness means to have a settled heart/mind/soul because we know who is in control of our lives. 

I want to be aware of God’s presence throughout this year because I know it will give me a settled heart, mind, and soul. I want to put my identity in Him because He is constant and never changing.

{ Continue Reading... }