Are You Satisfied?

At some point in our lives, we'll find ourselves feeling dissatisfied. For me, this dissatisfaction stems from either worries/anxieties or jealousy. I catch myself being dissatisfied no matter what time of the year. For example, I feel dissatisfied when I'm in school because I begin to stress and worry about exams/homework/projects. When I'm on break, I sometimes feel dissatisfied because I compare my vacation to other people's vacation.

I don't want to be that guy. I don't like feeling like this, and I don't know where and how it enters my thoughts. And this has been a prayer request and new year's resolution for me.

 “But godliness with contentment is great gain." - 1 Timothy 6:6

I recently came back from a spring retreat with my college fellowship. One of the things that I remember was that we should be careful in what we pray to God. For example, if you ask God to help you love more, then He'll probably put you in a situation with the person you dislike the most. Or if you pray for patience, God will put you in a moment where you have to wait FOREVER. In my case, I'm praying for contentment in Christ. Therefore, I find myself in more situations of worry/anxiety and jealousy of others. Thanks Obama.

All jokes aside, I'm thankful that God allowed me to realize this now. I get jealous of others. I complain about my hardships to myself and God. I'm a broken person. And this break has been a blessing to see how flawed I am. Now, I'm trusting God to work on me.

Do you find yourself feeling like me? Jealous of others? Worried or anxious about what is to come? I want to encourage you all. Godliness (being aware of God's presence and existence) will allow you to be content in life. And this contentment is the source of true wealth, which is satisfaction. Isn't that what everyone is looking for in life? Permanent satisfaction?

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"Is Your Imagination of God Starved?"

It's been a while since I've posted. But I'll get straight to the point. I've been doing a devotional book that I received from my aunt in 2009. I know what you're thinking... "WOW I can't believe you JUST started it." I'm not perfect, and thankfully God's grace is sufficient. So holla at ya boi if you're imperfect too.

Anyway, I just wanted to share the awesome things I've been experiencing and feeling for the past few weeks. Here's the main question: "Is your imagination of God starved?" I didn't understand this question when I first started the devotional, but it became more clear to me throughout the short excerpt.

My imagination of God does not accurately portray who God is and what He is capable of. And I'm sure your imagination is limiting God's power/image/ability. We limit His power, capability, and ability through our own idols, circumstances, and situations.

For me, my idols can revolve around school. My world and life revolves around school as a college student. Therefore, my circumstances and situations are all school-related. And when I pray to God, I sometimes don't expect Him to answer my prayers. And it's because I limit his capacity and ability to do things in my own imagination.

Sometimes I feel like I'm throwing up a prayer and hoping that God catches it. Sometimes I think, "There's no way that I can finish this (put blank here) in time. It's not possible." Just because I think it's impossible doesn't mean God can't fulfill it.

So I've begun to change my perspective in prayer. God isn't distant. He's here next to you. God can do ALL THINGS, whether you know it or not. Don't limit His power/ability with your deprived imagination and experiences in life. There's so much more that He can do. And we can't possibly comprehend what He is capable of.

Pray with faith, knowing that He is listening to you. Pray with confidence knowing that He loves you and cares for you. Pray, trusting that He knows what's best for you. But also pray in awe of His goodness and grace.

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1 Chronicles 18:11.

^"King David dedicated these articles to the Lord, as he had done with the silver and gold he had taken from all these nations: Edom and Moab, the Ammonites and the Philistines, and Amalek."

I was doing a quick morning devotional, and I came across this verse. At first, the verse doesn't seem like much. It's just part of a typical Old Testament story. But then I read it again. This verse stuck in my head for some odd reason.

Right now, I'm in the recruiting process to get an internship. And it's been really fun to meet firms and their staff. But I think this verse serves as a warning to me (and maybe you too). Don't get caught up in all of it. Don't begin to direct everything towards yourself. Don't make it about you even though people say it's about you.

I bet King David plundered a whole bunch of gold and silver. He defeated 5 nations at this time. 5 nations. That means he took the wealth of 5 little economies. That's a whole bunch of money. I don't know how much that is worth in today's time. But I bet he felt like he won the lottery at least once or twice.

But here's amazing thing. He still dedicated all this wealth he received back to God. That's tough. I wonder if I'll be able to dedicate my success (if I do ever become successful) to Him. Greed is a real temptation, and I hope I'll be able to overcome it when the time comes. I hope that I'll be able to direct others to Him when they look to me (if that ever happens).

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Boston and New York.

So it's been about half a week since I came back from my week long vacation. If haven't guessed already, I went to Boston and New York! 4 days in Boston and 3 days in New York. It was my first time going there for a vacation break.

Here are some things that I learned and experienced.

It was very cold.
Very cold. Negative 15 degree wind chill. Therefore, I wore a thermal, long sleeve shirt, sweater, light jacket, scarf, and coat. And I also bought myself some yoga looking/feeling pants. Don't judge me.

Everything is expensive.
Food. Subway tickets. Apartments. Clothes. Stuff. Everything.

I will never live in New York. 
And I most likely will not live in Boston. It's too busy and congested. I like my space.

On a more serious note, I saw a big problem that could enter into my life in the near future. Consumerism/Materialism is a huge trend. In my opinion, New York is the epitome of consumerism/materialism. It's ridiculous how much money gets spent in that city in a single day. People are buying souvenirs, clothes, food, etc. And it's definitely not cheap.

I'm not sure how to explain it, but I felt a conviction not to live that kind of life. I'm not saying buying things for yourself is wrong. We all need to buy things in order to survive and do what we need to do. But I want something else. I want to evaluate whether or not the thing I'm buying will lead to God's glory

"For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil." - 1 Timothy 6:10

I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with being rich. God blesses some for certain purposes in His great plan. And it'd sure be nice if I could be one of those people. But I shouldn't use this idea as an excuse to justify my own pursuit for wealth. And neither should you.

If you think that your financial status determines your satisfaction in life, then you got it wrong. If you think that how much stuff you have determines your happiness in life, then you're wrong. True wealth and satisfaction comes from Christ and only Christ.

In my opinion, how little or much money I have should not determine my satisfaction and happiness in life. Only Christ determines my contentedness in life. And that means I can find contentedness and happiness all the time because He is constant and never shaken.

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2015: Godliness with Contentment

“But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.” - 1 Timothy 6:6-10

I know that was a handful of verses, but I’ve been convicted about seeking contentedness in life. Let me explain. I listened to a sermon over these verses a skiing vacation with my family. It may or may not have been a Judah Smith sermon.

The Sunday I came back, I heard Pastor Chae give a personal testimony about his past life. It was about the struggles and temptations he faced with materiality. Especially in America, society drives you to keep buying new things for yourself to find satisfaction. In the afternoon, I went to visit my old church and heard my pastor preach about the dangers of the lust of money. That same evening, I saw Lecrae (who is a Christian rapper), share a devotional he had about the same verses (1 Timothy 6:6-10). Coincidence? I think not.

“Godliness with contentment is great gain”. I find myself putting my identity in so many different things. I’m sure you’re the same as I am. We put our identity in our job, financial status, number of followers, likes, friends on facebook, retweets, etc. If you think about it, it’s quite silly that we gain our confidence and meaningfulness through these things. All these things fluctuate, and they are always shaky and changing. For example, you can’t control the economy. Therefore, you are not in full control of your money. The same can be said for everything else in this world.

Which leads me to this verse. “Godliness with contentment is great gain.” Isn’t it funny that the pursuit of money/wealth leads to dis-contentedness? We think money equals true wealth, but we’re always left unsatisfied. We always want to buy more things. The Bible says otherwise. True wealth lies within contentment. And contentment is tied to godliness. 

According to Judah Smith, godliness basically means having “God awareness”. If we are aware of God, then we should easily be content with our lives. How does that help us be content? Let's think about it. Isn’t God faithful? Won’t He provide what is necessary? If God is faithful, which He is, then why are we constantly trying to take over our life to ease our worries and satisfy ourselves?

If we are aware of God, then contentedness should be apparent in our lives. Just to be clear, contentedness does NOT mean laziness or settling down in life. Contentedness means to have a settled heart/mind/soul because we know who is in control of our lives. 

I want to be aware of God’s presence throughout this year because I know it will give me a settled heart, mind, and soul. I want to put my identity in Him because He is constant and never changing.

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Story Time: Chris and Kenny

A few evenings ago, I was studying at the library for my finals with a group of friends. They asked if I could watch their stuff as they went to eat, and I agreed. I wanted to go eat too, but someone had to stay and watch our table. Long story short, I waited longer than I anticipated and became a bit grumpy. When they got back, I left and headed towards McDonald's on my way home (don't judge me).

Chris
As I open the door, a young homeless man stares straight at me and asks for money to get food. Personally, I don't like giving away money. I want to make sure that the money is being used for the right intentions. So I offered to buy him whatever he wanted. And let me tell you, he ordered a lot of food... 5 McDoubles, 5 McChickens, and some BLT sandwich.

While we were waiting for the food to come out, he kept on rambling about his past. The guy's name is Chris. He was socially awkward, but you never know what living on the streets can do to you after a couple years. Chris told me how he had a rough past going to jail for burglary, getting on probation, and ruining his future.

And he wouldn't stop bowing down to me. Almost every other sentence was followed with a bow. And I'm not talking about the bowing your head type bow. He got on his knees and bowed his forehead to the ground. It was his way of expressing his thanks. It made me think, "Who am I to be bowed down to? I feel like God is going to smite me. Just kidding. But seriously, I don't deserve this treatment."

Anyway, we got the food. I asked to pray for him. I prayed for the food. I prayed for God to enter his life in some way. It could be from my encounter with him, or someone else's later in the future. It was a simple prayer, and we parted our ways.

Kenny
But there was another homeless man that saw the entire encounter. He came up and told me how he was amazed to see me do something like that for a guy like him. I simply explained that I felt a conviction to share the love that I've been shown through Christ. I explained to him my faith in Christ. And he seemed to listen with positivity.

We had a bit of small talk, and I learned about the man (Kenny). He was a bit different from many other homeless people that I've met. Kenny was very respectful. He, like many others, made some bad decisions and lost a lot of money. But he didn't boast about it. He showed expressed shame as he talked about his past. He stopped his story abruptly, saying that I wouldn't want to hear the rest of the "boring" story.

Who am I to judge him? I explained that I'm not much of a better person than he. It was sad to see how the world pushed him to be ashamed of himself and beat himself up. It seemed as if he was told to accept the fact that he's a failure and must live with the consequences. I wanted to explain the grace that we all have in Christ, but we ended our conversation. He hoped that we would meet again. I pray and hope that I'll be able to see him again.

Aftermath
After all this occurred, I wasn't so grumpy anymore. There was a reason for me to stay at the table and wait for everyone to come back. None of this story would have occurred without that incidence.

I watched another Judah Smith sermon when I got back home from this event. The sermon was exactly about what just happened in my life. To summarize, sometimes we have to meet strangers and non-believers at their table. Jesus sat at the table of sinners. Why are we so afraid of having our "image" ruined by hanging out with "those people". So what if people make assumptions? That's exactly what the Pharisees did to Jesus. They made assumptions and judged him for sitting with "those sinners". Sometimes, we can't always tell others to join our table. We have to meet them at their place, just like Jesus came down to meet us at our level.

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Graduations, Photography, and Finals.

It's finals week here at the University of Texas at Austin. You know what that means. It's a mixture of stress, anxiety, self-actualization, epiphanies, screaming, crying, laughing, etc. I've seen it all. And no, I'm not going through any of these problems (thankfully). I'm quite relaxed for this round of finals. Honestly, you just do the best that you can do and leave the rest up to God. It's out of your control. So there's no point in worrying anyway.

Enough about finals. I want to talk about graduations and photography. This isn't a lecture because I have little to no knowledge about photography. I'm still learning a lot. And I mean a lot.

This past weekend, a couple of my friends graduated. They're done with this chapter of their life. And I pray and look forward to the amazing things God will do through them.

Graduation, itself, is nothing new to me. It's the same process: show up and cheer as your friend walks, take pictures, go eat, the end. However, it was a different for me because I took some photos this time. Why? Well half of the reason was to help take pictures. The other half was to practice and learn from experience.

As I was looking through the photos, I felt pretty nostalgic. Maybe because I was listening to some sappy music on spotify... Don't judge me. But I captured a lot of candid moments. And it felt warming to see the moments of laughter and happiness on those images. I got to see genuine joy. And it made me think about how those captured moments are moments where people let their guard down. They didn't know I took a picture of them. They didn't have time to "prepare" and "look pretty for the camera". It was the real, genuine "put name here" in that photo.

It made me think about how we all put on a mask when we're in public. We all hide our true self because we're told to do so by society. Why? Why should I conform and follow the patterns around me when I know it's not what defines me? Who says that it's important to look fake in order to impress? Seriously.

Be yourself. Be the image of God you were created to be. Don't try to fit in when you know you aren't supposed to. Be an anomaly (inspired by Lecrae's new alubm). Don't compromise your faith or yourself to seize an opportunity to fit in. And I'm not saying that's easy. I'm still trying to work that out in my life. But I thought I'd share some encouragement.

In the famous lyrics of Andy Mineo: "Opportunities come and they go, but none of them are worth my soul." Just kidding. He's not that well known. But he's a rapper partnered with Lecrae.

Btw, here's the album of the photos. Play some sappy music to get the full effect of #feels.
Graduation Photos

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